Suffering

On Suffering and Hope in Romans 5

EDEN FLORA | GUEST I vividly remember being 22, a new college graduate, and feeling very alone. I felt overwhelmed at the life that lay ahead of me. I wondered, how do I get from where I am to where I want to go? And where do I even want to go? Being 22 was rather scary, not at all like what Taylor Swift sings, “everything will be alright if we just keep dancing like we’re twenty-two.” The next paragraph you will read is difficult. I always feel apologetic as I head into my story. I think because it’s shocking and people often find it difficult to know how to respond. In the last semester of my college career, my reality was turned upside down. My wonderful, kind, lovely, but not dainty mother died by suicide. Though she had struggled with mental illness for years, quite obviously, it completely changed my life. When I think about my younger self, I long to comfort her and speak God’s truth to her. I was so scared. I couldn’t imagine anything other than that season. It felt so heavy and unmovable. I wish almost 40-year-old Eden could just sit with her and keep her company. In the months and years following, I just tried to get by. I had no clear goals, no solid plans, and not many ideas. It was painful and lonely. Gratefully, I knew God and felt His presence. I had people that cared about me. I had access to gifted therapists. But I couldn’t get past my sorrow, though I desperately felt like I should. I kept thinking that it was time for me to not be so sad. I think it was because I didn’t want to feel sad any more. I was afraid I would remain in that place forever. I remember reading Romans 5:3-5: “...we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” I didn’t understand how I could rejoice in my suffering...

On Suffering and Hope in Romans 5Christina Fox2024-04-09T20:51:36+00:00

The Body of Christ Makes All the Difference

SHARON ROCKWELL | CONTRIBUTOR My friend was not handling life very well. Emotions overwhelmed her as she felt the disappointment and pain of an adult child who was making bad choices, grief for a parent in hospice, and the sting of anger when relatives inappropriately demanded a share of the inheritance. She was already battling cancer, exhausted from chemotherapy and frustrated that she could not deal with all that was on her plate. Darkness invaded her world more than was visible to the eye. She had Christian friends at church who were praying for her. She had good-intentioned family members always ready with words of advice. And she had plenty of books and podcast lectures on dealing with her specific issues. But it was a wise, older Christian woman who encouraged her and imparted truth without judgement that changed everything. This woman met with my friend twice a week for months. She told me the main premise of their discussions was that the only thing you can control is yourself. My friend kept a diary of their Bible searches for God’s truth about her life versus her own self-deception. Here are a few of the key take-aways that she recounted put her back on a healthy path. She learned to guard her heart. Proverbs 4:23 says “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Guarding your heart means choosing godly thoughts (Col. 3:2; Phil. 4:8) as well as seeking wisdom and guidance from God. My friend had spent months in anger, self-pity, and dwelling on how life is unfair. She had raised her children with Christian values, only to watch a prodigal flaunt an ungodly lifestyle in her face. Why? She had always taken care of her body—good food and exercise—only to face a cancer diagnosis. Why? Betrayal had fractured her family over money issues. Why? It was a while before my friend would admit that her heart was bitter. Only she could control her thoughts, choosing godly thoughts over the evil that plagued her to the point of giving up on life. But once this realization became clear, it was a turning point...

The Body of Christ Makes All the DifferenceChristina Fox2024-03-19T13:29:44+00:00

Jesus Loves Me, This I Know

STEPHANIE HUBACH | CONTRIBUTOR Does the Guinness Book of World Records have a category for “longest period of time for keeping the same item magnetized to a refrigerator?” I sincerely doubt it. However, since the first all-steel home refrigerator was introduced by General Electric in 1929, that’s only a 95-year record to contend with. So, I’d say I’m doing pretty well. My magnetized item is actually a piece of newsprint (stuck in a magnetic frame), that says in large letters, “Jesus Loves Me, This I Know.” It’s been on my various refrigerators for 32 years. How do I know the exact amount of time? I know because my son Tim, who has Down syndrome, was born 32 years ago. 32 Years Ago—Jesus Loves Me, This I Know: My Sheer Act of Faith Five days after New Year’s Day of 1992, I gave birth to my second son. That evening, I heard the words that changed my family’s life forever. “We believe your son has a chromosomal abnormality.” As it turns out, a little piece of extra genetic material can influence a whole host of changes in a human body. Some of those changes create authentic challenges (to the point of being life-threatening, such as severe cardiac conditions). Some of those changes bring forth wonderful qualities in a “super-abundance” not as fully experienced by those of us with a typical collection of 46 chromosomes. In those early days, my heart was understandably caught up with the former: the weight of the authentic challenges and the practical nature of addressing those difficulties. By choice, we did not know in advance that Tim had Down syndrome. (That’s a conversation for another day.) Nor did we know that he would have a tumultuous ride of health issues in his first year, culminating in open heart surgery at seven months old. The tsunami of new responsibilities in terms of medical care and therapies, accompanied by grief at the loss of my expectations for what I thought Tim’s life (and ours) would look like, made our infant and toddler days with our oldest son, Freddy, feel other-worldly. Sometime, early in this journey, is when the newspaper clipping became attached to my refrigerator. “Jesus Loves Me, This I Know.” Christmas vacation occurred the weeks just prior to Tim’s birth. We were all home together, as my husband had time off from work. And I specifically remember intentionally enjoying that time with Freddy—knowing (but not how much) it would change soon, with the addition of a new baby. I also distinctly recall singing a particular song with him—one that I remember God bringing to mind (from my own childhood) during that time. It was this: There is a name I love to hear I love to sing its worth It sounds like music in my ear The sweetest name on earth O how I love Jesus O how I love Jesus O how I love Jesus Because he first loved me...

Jesus Loves Me, This I KnowChristina Fox2024-03-05T17:52:13+00:00

He Knows Our Every Trouble

CLAIRE STREBECK | GUEST Christ identifies with all our weaknesses. Christ understands our every sorrow. Do you weep? Do you mourn? If there were one characteristic that marked Jesus' earthly ministry, it would be compassion. Over and over, he was moved with deep pity for those weeping, especially those who were disadvantaged: the widow from Nain; Mary at the death of Lazarus; the sinner-woman who wailed as she washed Christ's feet with her expensive perfume and her tears. Yet, it was not only their circumstances that provoked Jesus' emotion. Certainly, any of their conditions could have been sufficient to prompt anyone to sympathy. Still, with Jesus, each emotional response included more than mere circumstantial pity. Every time Christ was moved in his emotions, it was in response to the battle he waged with death. Jesus’ Emotional Response to Our Fallen World When Christ saw Mary and the other Jews weeping over Lazarus' death, he felt more than sorrow. John 11:33 tells us that He was "deeply moved." I was surprised to discover that the text signifies more than Jesus' sadness and sympathy–John also communicates Jesus' rage. The original Greek word used is embrimaomai, which literally translates to "being very angry or moved with indignation." Was Christ angry at Mary or those with her? Was he angry over their grief? Absolutely not. In fact, we see that he was stirred in response to their mourning, with his own shedding of tears only two verses later. It was death itself that prompted our Lord to anger. ...

He Knows Our Every TroubleChristina Fox2024-03-05T18:10:48+00:00

The Beautiful Burden of Caregiving

KATIE POLSKI | CONTRIBUTOR While in my early thirties, my mom was diagnosed with a debilitating brain disease. I was told by the doctor that she would lose every ability “from her head to her toes.” Within months of the diagnosis, mom lost the ability to form words. Shouts, groans, and tears became her agonizing way of communicating. Not long after, she lost the use of her legs and hands. My father passed away years before mom’s diagnosis, and since I was the only sibling who lived in the same town, I quit my job and assumed the role as primary caretaker. She lived for two years after the diagnosis, so between caring for my young children and keeping up with life’s ongoing demands, caring for mom often felt burdensome. As I’ve watched friends face the inevitable challenges that accompany aging or ill parents, it’s become clear that my sentiment was not unique. But what I discovered amid the challenging journey, by the grace of God, is that the burdensome call of caregiving is also one that is profoundly and incomparably beautiful. The Burdensome Exhortation Scripture makes abundantly clear that we are to honor our parents (Deut. 5:16; Ex. 20:12; Eph. 6:2). Though short, these verses are layered with meaning, and it is easy to apply them in the way we see fit. It’s important, however, to take care to not interpret these words from God based on our own feelings or agendas. The Pharisees did this, and Jesus rebuked them (Matt. 15:3-6). For us to obey this command, trust in God’s perfect Word is required. There are times when honoring parents is confusing, challenging, and difficult. And while honoring may look different from one situation to the next, there are no caveats given with these verses, though we sometimes wish there were. One of the many ways we honor our parents is by caring for them in their time of need, and not because of what they have or have not done for us, but because sacrificial love has been demonstrated for us in the gospel...

The Beautiful Burden of CaregivingChristina Fox2024-01-21T14:50:48+00:00

Churches Need a Biblical Theology of Suffering

PAMELA MCGINTY | GUEST “When it is the heart that has been wounded, it doesn’t heal.” These words broke my heart when I first heard them, from a woman who had experienced great trauma throughout her young life. Women across Africa often express similar beliefs. The word, ‘trauma’ comes from the Greek, τραύμα, meaning ‘wound.’ Emotional trauma is a wound of the mind and heart that affects our brains, bodies, beliefs, and behaviours. Yet, the effects of trauma CAN change, hearts CAN heal, and our faith and trust in God can be renewed and grow. Africans Know Trauma Africa includes many of the most traumatized countries in the world. Physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual abuse, violent crime and political unrest are often the norm. Yet, emotional health is often ignored or poorly addressed, and holistic soul care within the church is rarely found. Many Africans know trauma all too well, yet often have little understanding of its effects on them or where to turn for help. Where should our emotional support come from? Africans are spiritual. Most all believe that a Creator designed us as embodied souls, but many pray to a god whose favour they believe they can earn. Africans are relational, but across South Africa much traditional community and extended family support has been lost due to displacement and economic pressures. More than two-thirds of homes are fatherless and healthy; intact nuclear families are rare. In some African cities there is a growing desire for professional counselling, yet this can be confusing or harmful when it contradicts traditional or Christian beliefs and ethics. All Western thought may be held suspect, even the common grace wisdom that God has revealed through sciences. Few Christian mental health professionals are equipped to understand their secular education through the foundation of their faith, or to discern where conflicts exist between them. A Missional Opportunity All this leaves many Christians feeling desperately alone when seeking relief from emotional pain. Yet, this provides an amazing opportunity for the Church. Diane Langberg believes “…trauma is perhaps the greatest mission field of the twenty-first century.”[1] All souls who do not know the Lord are our mission field, but by addressing the trauma that hearts have experienced and providing biblically sound counsel with an understanding of the physiology involved, we can point people to Christ and the healing of souls which only He can provide...

Churches Need a Biblical Theology of SufferingChristina Fox2023-10-09T21:54:50+00:00

A Reason for Pain and Suffering

SHARON ROCKWELL|CONTRIBUTOR Now in the winter of my life, I have witnessed many friends and family members deal with hardships that resulted in physical pain – miscarriages, a stillborn child, loved ones taken too soon, those who have had to endure cancer and heart disease. Whenever I encounter someone in physical pain, my first inclination has been to pray that the pain would be taken away. Secondly, I would offer help where needed. Finally, I would make a deliberate effort to be grateful for all my blessings and for God’s goodness to me. My feet have landed in pleasant places in comparison. Psalm 16:5-6 reminds me of God’s goodness; “The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.” Never have I looked into the eyes of a friend who was in pain and thought to myself this is a reminder to repent. But that is precisely what John Piper tells us is a reason for physical pain in the world. In his book Providence, Piper presents a convincing argument that God uses our pain as a call to repentance. He reminds us first that our fallen world is under God’s judgement. He permits the physical pain, the tragedies, and death itself. But why? Why does God judge the world with physical pain? His argument goes back to the fall. When Adam rebelled and ate the fruit of the tree which he was not supposed to eat, he was essentially taking a stand. He decided that his ways were better than God’s ways, that God’s law did not matter, arrogantly thinking that there would not be consequences. It was a mockery of God, completely out of step with what he owed God, which was glory, praise, honor, and obedience. We are still like Adam, completely unaware of how much our sins grieve our holy God. God has become so insignificant in our daily lives that we don’t realize how much we hurt Him. Piper suggests this is “one of the reasons God judged moral evil with physical pain. While fallen people do not value God, they do value being pain free. Therefore, to point them to the outrage of belittling him, God judges that belittling of God with physical pain and sorrow. He subjected the whole creation to futility and corruption. In other words, God puts the call to repentance in the language everyone can understand – the language of pain and death.”[1]...

A Reason for Pain and SufferingChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:24:26+00:00

Motherhood: A Chrysalis to Flight

MARIA CURREY|CONTRIBUTOR Much of motherhood is wisdom taking flight in hindsight. Prayer was the cocooning to my firstborn’s arrival—praying to get it right, to raise our baby in all the ways God desires. I remember driving home alone one evening, anticipating the arrival of this sweet child. At a tender twenty-two, my spirit sought answers, assured success, wisdom, and grace for this little heartbeat within. The comforting protection of God’s Presence filled my prayers, but in a different way from which I yearned. “Father, please help us to guide and raise this little one’s heart,” I cried. With clarity, my mind’s ear heard, “Maria, you two are just the shepherds of this baby. I am this little one’s Father and always will be. This heartbeat belongs to Me.” It was 1988. We didn’t know who was growing within, a girl or a boy, dark-haired like Daddy, blue-eyed like Mommy? We were soon to tumble head over heels in love. Our precious firstborn, a little girl, was born to us on a blistering hot August day. In a dramatically miraculous entry, saved from the clutches of near tragedy, I met her after an emergency c-section. Her expressions so like her Daddy’s, her little eyes searching my face, her ears tuned to my voice, her coos the sweetest melody; oh, to cocoon her in protected peace! Growth in a Chrysalis However, life in Christ is not a cocoon but a chrysalis. No butterfly takes wing without a complex and even painful transformation. So, it is with parenting. God, as the infinite Father and Creator, designed delicate creatures to symbolize much what our own children experience while becoming the next generation—a becoming like Him that will not be finished this side of heaven. Next came our second child, a towheaded, blue-eyed boy, who was as inquisitive as he was quick on his feet. Two and a half years later came the youngest, another son, whom we call our man of mirth. All three different and yet inescapably a mixture of us and God’s masterful design. Born into a military family, these three each have their own birthplaces as unique as their personalities, a full country triangle represented: a Washingtonian, New Yorker, and North Carolinian. The chrysalis of each involved years of development, regular challenges faced from babies to toddlers, preschool to elementary, hormonally charged middle school into high school interests, with faith more greatly formed and owned, college choices made, and life then continuing beyond. Each place we moved posed challenges, our oldest experiencing thirteen schools in her twelve years prior to college. Different homes and military installations, friends who came and went, many whom they left with tears and promises to keep in touch. What shaped, molded, and made their wings stronger? Mostly the hard places, the walls which their wings pushed against to eventually fly...

Motherhood: A Chrysalis to FlightChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:35:50+00:00

Whining vs. Biblical Complaint in Caregiving

MARISSA BONDURANT|GUEST When my kids wake up in the morning and complain about getting dressed for school, and the breakfast options I’ve offered, and the color of their lunch box, and the way their sister looked at them… I tell them to “stop whining.” When my own heart is dissatisfied with how my pants fit or my husband’s work schedule, or the fact that I wasn’t invited to something… I tell myself to “stop having a pity party.” But when our hearts are broken, sad, overwhelmed, and discouraged at the suffering of our loved one and the life changes required to care for them, should we still say “stop whining” to our tender hearts? Or is there another way to think about the brokenness we are experiencing? I believe there is a real difference between whining and biblically complaining. Whining is what we do when our preferences aren’t being met. Biblical complaint is when we acknowledge the disconnect between the pain of our lived-in reality, and what we know is true of God’s character and his plan for redeeming our world...

Whining vs. Biblical Complaint in CaregivingChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:44:52+00:00

A Look at the Classic Work, Divine Providence

ANN MARIE MO|GUEST Why do the wicked prosper? Why do the good suffer? Godly men in the Bible asked these questions. The prophet Jeremiah cried, “Why do all who are treacherous thrive? You plant them, and they take root; they grow and produce fruit; you are near in their mouth and far from their heart” (Jer. 12:1–2). In our fallen world, inequality and suffering are the painful by-products of original sin; yet, God demonstrates that he sovereignly governs injustice and accomplishes his holy purposes through dark providences. Puritan Stephen Charnock observed: “Providence is mysterious because God’s ways are above our human methods. Dark providences are often a smoldering groundwork laid for some excellent design that God is about to reveal.”[i] Written over three hundred years ago, Charnock’s Divine Providence explores how God exercises a providence that is holy, wise, and good. To study God’s mysterious ways, the author bases this work on 2 Chronicles 16:9: “The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him.” Rendered in the King James Version, this verse reveals the purpose of God’s providence—“to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him.”...

A Look at the Classic Work, Divine ProvidenceChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:22:19+00:00