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The Beauty of Intergenerational Friendship

KIM BARNES | CONTRIBUTOR I was 19 years old and back home in Tampa for the summer. My freshman year of college was a spiritual crucible, deepening my faith and love for Jesus. I was excited about my growing understanding of the Bible, and being a volunteer youth group leader at my home church seemed a great way to invest my time that summer. The dividends were greater than expected. A Beloved Sister in Christ Soon, I met a fellow youth volunteer named Judy who exuded warmth, kindness, and passion for Jesus. Despite the generation gap, Judy and I connected instantly. That summer we got to know each other as we led a group of teenage girls through a study of 2 Timothy. Judy was old enough to be my mother, but she didn’t treat me like a child. She valued my opinions and ideas. She extended grace to me amidst my youthful foolishness and pride and treated me as a sister in Christ. We became friends. The summer concluded and I returned to college, but Judy and I remained connected. In the days before cell phones and email, our bond was nurtured through pouring out our hearts in letters, and cherished visits during holidays and school breaks. Judy’s consistent encouragement, genuine interest in my life, and unwavering support was a gift to me. Life unfolded. I married, became a parent, and embarked on my own journey. Meanwhile Judy continued her tireless service in the church, especially among youth and women. Out of a heart overflowing with compassion, she eventually founded a ministry for single mothers. Judy cared for hundreds of women and their children, providing practical resources and spiritual nourishment. While my friendship with Judy waned over the years, a bond remained, and her example of faith and service continued to teach me. The Scriptures point to the value of relationships, like mine with Judy, that span life-stages and generations. A Call to Intergenerational Friendship In Luke’s Gospel, we witness how young Mary and aging Elizabeth turned to one another as they faced pregnancies that were impossible without God. Imagine the solace they found in each other as they traded stories of angelic visits and experienced shared awe at the unfolding miracles growing within them...

The Beauty of Intergenerational Friendship2024-05-07T17:01:41+00:00

A Match (un)Made in Heaven

JAMYE DOERFLER | CONTRIBUTOR I think about heaven a lot. When I’m sad because I’m watching a loved one’s body break down, or because human impact on the environment brings destruction and death, I look to what I know about heaven. In heaven, we will be given new bodies and will inhabit a new earth. One thing will not be made new? Our marriages. The cliché is, “it’s a match made in heaven.” However, in reality, every match made on earth will be unmade in heaven. Consider Jesus’ conversation with the Sadducees in Matthew 22. Marriage Unmade The Sadducees, who did not believe in the resurrection and were trying to make Jesus look foolish, asked a hypothetical question: “Teacher, Moses said, ‘If a man dies having no children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother.’ Now there were seven brothers among us. The first married and died, and having no offspring left his wife to his brother. So too the second and third, down to the seventh.  After them all, the woman died. In the resurrection, therefore, of the seven, whose wife will she be? For they all had her.” “But Jesus answered them, ‘You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.’” (Matthew 22:24-30)...

A Match (un)Made in Heaven2024-02-04T20:09:30+00:00

The Beautiful Burden of Caregiving

KATIE POLSKI | CONTRIBUTOR While in my early thirties, my mom was diagnosed with a debilitating brain disease. I was told by the doctor that she would lose every ability “from her head to her toes.” Within months of the diagnosis, mom lost the ability to form words. Shouts, groans, and tears became her agonizing way of communicating. Not long after, she lost the use of her legs and hands. My father passed away years before mom’s diagnosis, and since I was the only sibling who lived in the same town, I quit my job and assumed the role as primary caretaker. She lived for two years after the diagnosis, so between caring for my young children and keeping up with life’s ongoing demands, caring for mom often felt burdensome. As I’ve watched friends face the inevitable challenges that accompany aging or ill parents, it’s become clear that my sentiment was not unique. But what I discovered amid the challenging journey, by the grace of God, is that the burdensome call of caregiving is also one that is profoundly and incomparably beautiful. The Burdensome Exhortation Scripture makes abundantly clear that we are to honor our parents (Deut. 5:16; Ex. 20:12; Eph. 6:2). Though short, these verses are layered with meaning, and it is easy to apply them in the way we see fit. It’s important, however, to take care to not interpret these words from God based on our own feelings or agendas. The Pharisees did this, and Jesus rebuked them (Matt. 15:3-6). For us to obey this command, trust in God’s perfect Word is required. There are times when honoring parents is confusing, challenging, and difficult. And while honoring may look different from one situation to the next, there are no caveats given with these verses, though we sometimes wish there were. One of the many ways we honor our parents is by caring for them in their time of need, and not because of what they have or have not done for us, but because sacrificial love has been demonstrated for us in the gospel...

The Beautiful Burden of Caregiving2024-01-21T14:50:48+00:00

Be Human Evangelism

LAUREN HOLBROOK | GUEST What comes to your mind when you hear the word evangelism? You may have a memory of hearing the gospel for the first time at a VBS or you were blessed to hear a missionary share an incredible testimony of someone in their community coming to faith. For me I think back to my experience of beach evangelism, which was a key component of my summers serving with a college ministry. This one hour in my week was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time! Through my 12 years of college ministry experience, my primary framework for evangelism came from Matthew 28:19, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations…” I received incredible training and felt equipped to talk about spiritual things. Often the Lord provided an opportunity, and I would share the bridge diagram or another evangelistic tool to clearly articulate the good news of the gospel to my friend or neighbor. My passion was fueled by the Great Commission, and this is what led my family to say yes to the call of church planting. Church Planting to the “Post-Christian” What I did not realize is the way I went about evangelism on a college campus in the Southeast is very different than the method of evangelism I used during my time of church planting in the Northeast. My husband and I had the privilege of church planting in Fairfield, Connecticut, which is a commuter town about an hour outside of New York City. Although we were located in New England, a region where revival had come during the Great Awakening, the spiritual climate there today is primarily “post-Christian.” Our area was named as one of the top 10 post Christian cities in America according to the Barna Group. To qualify as “post-Christian,” individuals had to meet criteria like: Do not believe in God Identify as atheist or agnostic Disagree that faith is important in their lives Have not prayed to God (in the last week) Have never made a commitment to Jesus Have not attended a Christian church (in the last 6 months) Have not read the Bible (in the last week) Not Born Again[1] Most of my neighbors, mom friends, teachers in my daughter’s school, and other acquaintances would check these boxes and identify themselves as a non-religious person. They did not believe in God. They did not consider faith an important part of their lives. They also had an aversion to evangelism. So how do you bring the good news to someone who wants nothing to do with Christianity?...

Be Human Evangelism2023-10-21T15:43:33+00:00

The Blessings That Come With Forgiveness

LEAH JONES | GUEST “Birds fly. Fish swim. Christians forgive.” My husband made this statement in a sermon on forgiveness a few weeks ago and it resonated with me. With all the authority and confidence that could only be rooted in Scripture, he proceeded to explain how forgiveness is as necessary to the Christian as breathing. If forgiveness is free, good, and necessary, then we should be quick to forgive. There should be no withholding it. In The Miracle of Forgiveness, C.S. Lewis speaks of forgiveness as mortifying our resentment. It’s a practice we have to set on repeat. In fact, we may have to walk the same path of forgiveness 490 times (see Matt. 18-21). Forgiveness is a journey with many steps along the way—so we may as well get started. As I’ve studied and meditated on forgiveness, here are four things I’ve learned: #1: Forgiveness is Mandatory We must forgive. It is never optional. A lack of forgiveness settles in and festers. Bitterness takes root and anger turns to rage; hurt morphs into hatred. We begin to only see the difficulty in life and miss God’s goodness. Hebrews warns us to remember the grace of God, “lest the root of bitterness rise up” and cause great destruction (Heb. 12:15). These ramifications never stay isolated to one relationship. They creep in unnoticed and wreak havoc throughout our relational landscape...

The Blessings That Come With Forgiveness2023-09-23T13:21:26+00:00

Treasure in Jars of Clay

KIM CHURCH | GUEST It was science experiment day. My kids were buzzing with excitement about what they would get to do and see for this week’s experiment. As we opened our garage door that morning, we were welcomed by the equatorial sun and heat of the dry season in Uganda. With too many helping hands, we got our experiment ready to go. I made sure everyone’s eyes were on the set-up because we had one shot at this. I didn’t have extra supplies, and we didn’t have the ability to get more. I counted down… three, two, one. Just as I let go of the clip that would set the reaction in motion, there was loud banging and shouting at the gate to our compound. We all instinctively looked out the garage door to see my neighbor happily banging on my gate as she greeted us. Almost as quickly as we looked away, we looked back at the experiment to see that we had missed the entire split-second reaction. I instantly felt anger rising from deep within me towards my neighbor. I struggled to find the patience I needed to navigate my three crying children because they didn’t really understand why I couldn’t just do it again so they could see it. My neighbor continued banging on my gate expecting me to come let her in so she could visit. Again. Just like she had done the day before. And the day before that. And most days for the past 2 months. I went to the gate and begrudgingly let her in without properly greeting her because I was fuming, and I wanted her to know how much she inconvenienced me that morning. I went to get my husband to entertain her because I still had a garage of disappointed children that needed my attention. My husband, unaware of the science experiment mishap, warmly greeted her and welcomed her into our home. My anger was just about to explode like a pressure cooker that ran out of water, and I knew I needed to get out of there. I made a beeline for my bedroom at the back of the house and somehow managed to not slam my door and throw things around like I so desperately felt like doing. Like the self-controlled adult I tried to convince myself I was, I took deep breaths for several minutes as I regained my composure. When I felt like I had released enough pressure, I went back out to the front of the house where my husband and my neighbor were freely bantering back and forth. I sat down like a pouting child and refused to participate in the conversation. Sensing my frustration, my husband skillfully brought the visit to an end a short time later...

Treasure in Jars of Clay2023-09-07T13:48:08+00:00

Navigating Conflict in Relationships

HEATHER MOLENDYK|CONTRIBUTOR Claire and Jen were those young moms that spent more time together than sisters. From school choice to playdates to daily phone calls, the friends were inseparable. At least they were until Jen refused to speak to Claire at church one Sunday. Claire attempted to restore the relationship every way she knew how. Fifteen years later, the kids are grown, and Claire still doesn’t know what she did to hurt the woman who used to be her best friend. At the local middle school, Jordyn isn’t faring much better. Her lunch time is spent trying to find a place to eat in peace. What started as a fallout between two friends, has now morphed into a drama that has the entire school taking sides. Jordyn bites into her apple while longingly watching the table where she used to be part of the group. Would things have been different if the injured classmate had been as open with Jordyn as she had with the other girls? Relationships are messy. As sinful creatures, we often make mistakes and hurt one another whether intentionally or accidentally. Fortunately, we serve a God that does not abandon us to the messes our sinful natures create. He walks with us, teaches us, and gives us the power to do hard things. Jesus teaches His followers how to manage relationships in the book of Matthew. Though the teachings of Christ might make us squirm, Scripture is incredibly clear as to how we are to navigate the struggles that come our way...

Navigating Conflict in Relationships2023-08-17T14:20:25+00:00

Forgiveness: A Costly Yet Worthy Obedience

ELLEN DYKAS|CONTRIBUTOR Corrie ten Boom, imprisoned during WWII for sheltering Jews in her home (along with her family), told a powerful story from a speaking event in Berlin. After sharing about God’s love, a man approached her. Oh, Miss Ten Boom, I’m so glad to see you…don’t you recognize me? She realized he was one of the cruelest guards in the concentration camp where she had been imprisoned with her sister, Betsy. He enthusiastically told her he was now a Christian, marveling at God’s forgiveness for all the cruelties he inflicted on people. But, he said, he prayed that God would give him an opportunity to ask one of his victims for forgiveness. Miss Ten Boom, will you forgive me? Corrie said, “I could not. I remembered the suffering of my dying sister through him...and I realized that if I did not forgive those who sin against me, my heavenly Father would not forgive me…but I could not [forgive him], but could only hate him.”[1] Confronting our inner hate and desperation I’ve not suffered the kind of trauma which Corrie endured, but I have been sinned against, and have confronted hatred in my heart towards evil doers, as well as believers who’ve betrayed me and mishandled my heart. What about you, sister? Today, are you weighed down with lingering pain and anger due to someone’s sin against you? A leader, friend, husband, parent, son, daughter, or boss? Do you resonate with Corrie’s desperate honesty, I can’t forgive, I can only hate?...

Forgiveness: A Costly Yet Worthy Obedience2023-08-15T13:17:27+00:00

Important Lessons Learned in Relational Discomfort

LEAH JONES|GUEST I drove my son to the baseball field on a beautiful spring day. As an avid baseball fan, I was filled with excitement imagining moments of his potential glory. I anticipated watching him grow in a sport that I loved so much. I had visions of him being a superstar all the way through college. After that? Time would tell. After all, I didn’t want to get ahead of myself. My son spoke with all the sincerity his 8-year-old self could muster: “Mom, you don’t need to cheer for me today.” His calm comment was a jolt to my entire system! “Eliot! I love you and am so proud of you.” I secretly thought to myself, “I know baseball, so I know all the cool instructive things to say.” His reply was still calm but very serious, “Mom. It’s practice.” His discomfort demanded he speak truth to me. His point was well taken, and I scaled back my intensity to reflect his reality. Emotional Discomfort, a Gift from the Lord In our friendships, marriages, and family, we have moments of difficulty. We miscommunicate or we hear words and assume the worst. We often feel angry towards someone or hurt by them and can’t really name why. These internal disruptions are not enjoyable, but that does not mean they are bad. Emotional discomfort is a gift from the Lord. It tells us there is something happening, and He is at work to help us understand. In James 3:16-18, we are taught that a life of wisdom is, among other things, peaceable. And peace, by nature, is relational. Peace is not accomplished in a vacuum. The life of wisdom is found by working for peace with one another. In the midst of stressful and uncomfortable conversations we feel confused and flooded with all sorts of emotions. Our immediate reaction is often one of self-preservation or anger. But what God is showing us is our need for repentance and/or a deeper awareness of our wounds...

Important Lessons Learned in Relational Discomfort2023-08-15T13:23:38+00:00

To Rejoice with Those Who Rejoice

KERRY ANDERSON|GUEST Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. (Rom. 12:15)  When it comes to opening my mailbox, May is almost as exciting as December. Graduation announcements come in as a close second to Christmas cards among the favorite mail I receive. I love seeing the creativity of the cards, the carefully chosen, personality-reflecting senior pictures, and the promise of the future. I adore reading about the various accomplishments and next steps and I get extra excited when there’s a party invite in there too! I can just sense the beaming smile of a mamma as she addressed them all. And if you’ve ever mailed me one, know that your announcement sat in a special basket and was prayed over until dethroned in December by that first holiday card. When We are Better at Mourning than Rejoicing We’re heading into that end-of-the-school year season when our mailboxes and social media feeds are full of announcements of not just graduations, but also awards days, state championships, senior trips, college acceptances, job acceptances, and let’s not forget engagement and wedding season too! With so much to celebrate, you’d think we’d be masters at it. After all, our God is a God of many feasts and celebrations and in Psalm 35:27, it says He “…delights in the welfare of his servant!” And yet sometimes, those weddings, or graduation announcements, or pictures of a child with an honor roll certificate stir up less than God-honoring thoughts and emotions in us. Though it's a command to rejoice with those that rejoice, our heart can be the enemy to living that out.       My then college-aged daughter once noticed this among her peers. As we pondered what we’d both seen, we concluded that often the people of God are better at mourning than rejoicing. Leaning into support, lifting up in prayer, and bringing a meal are actually easier than being a champion for, celebrating, and truly finding joy in someone else’s experience of blessing. We rush into comfort and rescue, but we hold back from honoring and encouraging. We don't send a congratulations text because we didn’t get that thing we applied for that month. We don’t ask a friend how her son’s wedding went because we weren’t invited. Or we don’t serve on that committee because we had hoped to be the chair. Maybe our child didn’t get into the college of her dreams or make the honor roll. Maybe our graduate can’t articulate what the next step is yet. Maybe you long to be married so attending another engagement party has a sting to it. Maybe your adult child is moving overseas while your friend’s is moving right around the corner. Those are the realities of life and in our over-connected online world, it’s not going away. Which is why we have the imperatives of Scripture to meditate on when our thoughts, hearts, and eyes drift from our eternal focus...

To Rejoice with Those Who Rejoice2023-08-15T13:26:13+00:00
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