parenting

Redeeming the Time This New School Year

KRISTEN HATTON | GUEST With two children married and one entering his final year of college, I know how fast the years go by. And while we love the empty nester stage we are now in, I miss the activities that characterized our lives during my children’s growing up years. The school and sports-related activities, yes, but also the sitting down at the dinner table together, playing games, watching a TV series, relaxing by the pool, the laughter and noise. Worshipping together and discussing the sermon over Sunday lunch. The everyday conversations that come through normal family life together. Looking back, I see that the seemingly insignificant moments were actually the most important. These weren’t Instagrammable so the magnitude could easily be missed. But it was also not happenstance that the regular routines of daily life far exceeded any fleeting post as a shaping influence on our kids. Above everything, my husband and I wanted our kids to know their need for Jesus and his love for them. We wanted our family to be closely connected, to feel safe to be vulnerable and known by each other. To this end, even when we couldn’t see the forest for the trees, we endeavored to be intentional according to what we valued most. Our kids didn’t always like the decisions we made. I felt lonely at times swimming upstream against the culture. But by God’s grace we persevered, looking not to their temporal happiness (or ours), but toward a hope that they would root their lives in Christ. Certainly, there is no formula for ensuring a life of faith for our kids and the relationships we desire to cultivate. It is by the grace of God, and yet as parents we are called to diligently shepherd their hearts (Deut. 6:7). But it starts with us—with our hearts. Scripture tells us, “For where our treasure is there our heart will be also (Matt. 6:21).” Where our treasure is. Therefore, I encourage you to evaluate if and how your family rhythms point to and flow from your greatest treasure. And if not, how you might reorient those rhythms this school year. I’ve outlined below five considerations....

Redeeming the Time This New School YearChristina Fox2025-08-02T21:12:47+00:00

Discipling Children in Suffering

AMY SANTARELLI |GUEST When my children were young, my husband and I worked hard to prepare them for life. We taught them skills they needed such as tying their shoes, doing laundry, driving, and choosing a career. We also taught them Bible stories, character lessons, and how to obey. But how to suffer? Mostly, we tried to help them avoid it. Now I am a biblical counselor who sits with people who are enduring a wide range of suffering. Seeing their struggles, I find myself looking back at this aspect of our child rearing and wishing I could have a parenting do-over. In our efforts to raise our children well and prepare them for life, we missed something important—purposefully preparing them for a world where the Bible says we will have trouble (John 16:33; James 1:2; I Pet. 4:12–13). How do we equip our children to biblically respond to life’s troubles, so they do not flounder, or worse, run away from God to false comforts? When trouble hits, practice lament and submission to God with your children....

Discipling Children in SufferingChristina Fox2025-07-11T15:04:24+00:00

Encouragement for Moms During Graduation Season

STEPHANIE FORMENTI | CONTRIBUTOR Graduation invitations. Yearbooks. Senior photos. Open houses. All signs point to graduation season—a busy and joyful time. And while motherhood is an emotional endeavor all the time, for many moms, graduation ceremonies feel like a sacred threshold where the intensity of pride and joy walk hand in hand with letting go and releasing control. In the time it takes for your student to walk across the stage, a barrage of emotions rush in: joy, relief, pride, nostalgia, and a whole new set of worries, fears, and anxieties. As a mom, you’ve watched your child grow, struggle, stretch, succeed, fail, and begin to learn responsibility. You’ve prayed over, cheered for, cried with, rejoiced with, and, at times, worried for your son or daughter. And now, the next chapter of life awaits. How can you walk faithfully through graduation season? Philippians 1:3-11 provides a beautiful guide for all you are experiencing. Much like our desire as parents, Paul writes to his spiritual children to encourage them in their faith and toward maturity and perseverance. This passage presents a helpful movement for us as moms: Give thanks. Entrust. Keep praying. Give Thanks Philippians 1:3: “I thank my God in all my remembrance of you…” Throughout Scripture, God regularly invited His people to pause and remember. Sometimes it involved a sacrifice, a song, or a small tower of stones. These physical elements were meant to invite reflection on and recollection of the faithfulness, power, love, and mercy of God. The invitation to remember is an invitation to reorient our hearts toward what we know to be true about God and to let those truths change us from the inside out. Remembering is a powerful first step toward gratitude and trust...

Encouragement for Moms During Graduation SeasonChristina Fox2025-05-05T18:43:27+00:00

The Lord’s Provision in Foster Care

JORDAN PAINTER|GUEST In February 2024, I arranged my neat little set of watercolor paints at our annual church Galentine’s event. My plan was to paint a picture, have some tasteful hors d'oeuvres, and chat with my friends. God's plan for me was to challenge much of what I had previously written off in my own pride. I simply couldn't have predicted how that one light-hearted night would thrust me toward the chaos in which I now sit a year later. Before the activities began, a woman in our church was asked to speak on her experience with foster care. Although it was probably a wonderful message, I remember nothing she said after this statement: "If every church just had one family willing to foster or adopt, there would be no child left waiting in the system." Just one. I looked around the room and I realized that we all probably assumed someone else would be the "one.” At that moment, a seed was planted that I absolutely did not want to nurture. I had seen foster care from a distance and knew it was not for me. To welcome a child, invest in them, love them, and then return them, was not something I felt I could do. I knew foster kids have messy pasts, difficult behaviors, and deep trauma. With two toddlers at home and a husband who travels for work, I was not equipped to handle that. God Establishes Our Steps Proverbs 16:9 says, "The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” I had planned my way. It was a very average-American-middle-class way, and it sounded fantastic: I would have two to three well-behaved children, and our days filled with play dates and various groups. My husband agreed with my plan and frankly, we loved it. But the Lord established our steps. As I type this, I have two foster sons asleep in their beds. One will wake up in about thirty minutes and then continue to wake every hour or so through the night. The other will sleep well and wake with plenty of energy to scream at me when his favorite shirt is dirty. This was not my plan. The Lord established our steps...

The Lord’s Provision in Foster CareChristina Fox2025-04-21T19:33:06+00:00

World Down Syndrome Day: An Interview with Tim Hubach

STEPHANIE HUBACH | CONTRIBUTOR March is Down syndrome awareness month. As a parent of an adult with Down syndrome, I’ve written many different pieces about what it is like raising a child who has Down syndrome. This year, I decided to interview my son Tim instead. So, largely unedited and unfiltered. . .here’s Tim, in his own words! Tell us something about yourself and where you live? My name is Tim Hubach. I am 33 years old. And I live at 278 Stony Lane. I picture myself to be awesome. Who calls you Uncle Tim? Caroline, Everett, and Dietrich. The twins (Dietrich and Everett) are actually working on it. Because it sounds like “Unicorn Tim.” But they called me Tim first. When they call me on FaceTime, they say, “Teeem! Teeem! Teeem!” They are always happy to see me. Caroline calls me Uncle Tim. Me and Caroline are actually trouble. Sometimes we get caught when we sneak snacks. She is innocent because she always asks for snacks, but for me, as her uncle, Uncle Tim is guilty for sneaking them for both of us. What is the best thing about being an uncle? Having fun with Caroline, Everett and Dietrich. Sometimes they are a piece of work and make me crazy. But in a good way, I would say I am the only Down syndrome guy who is an uncle of those three. Also, those three are actually fun and darned entertaining. What types of things do you like to do with Caroline, Dietrich, and Everett? Coloring, going outside for walks including going to the park. Doing puzzles. Playing games. Sometimes the boys actually climb on me, like I am their jungle gym. A jungle wrestling gym! You’re fondly known by your nickname: “Cart Man.” Tell my friends the story about how you became known as “Cart Man.” Let me start off with my job at WellSpan first and how I started. On my senior year, when I was in high school, I started volunteering at WellSpan Health Center, the doctor’s office at Brownstown. What I did there when I was volunteering was greeting people. Then I said, “Hi! Welcome to WellSpan Health Center!” and they came in. So I added the greeting to my job as a cart person. The first time when I was a cart person was at Martin’s Country Market was in the year of 2013. “Welcome to Martin’s Country Market! May I help you?” Part of being a cart man is confidence, and being nice to people, and how to serve them. Customers need a cart and including feeling welcomed. The reason why the job is important is because the cart man is the first person and the last person everyone sees at the grocery store. If the cart man is happy people feel welcomed...

World Down Syndrome Day: An Interview with Tim HubachChristina Fox2025-03-13T02:06:33+00:00

Trading Striving for Rest in Motherhood

GRACE THWEATT|GUEST Six months after my second child was born, both kids were sleeping through the night. I, however, wasn’t. My body exhausted; I’d lay my head on my pillow only to find my thoughts racing: I haven’t spent enough quality time with my oldest since the baby came. I wonder if he feels neglected. Goodness, I wish I hadn’t yelled at him when he disobeyed earlier. I really need to work on having more patience. I’d begin to drift off to a restless sleep, only to have a stressful dream wake me and leave me with an urgent sense that a child needed me or that I had forgotten to do something important. I would check the time, and my heart would drop with despair at the glaring number, 3am. I needed sleep to have energy to face the next day! My worrisome thoughts continued: Should I reset my alarm to get a little more sleep and just skip having an early-morning quiet-time? But I’m already feeling distant and lacking in my relationship with God… Anxiety and striving had grown to characterize my life, and they were eating away at me. I imagine I’m not alone in this. As moms, it seems we often strive in response to the anxiety we feel about our parenting. We worry: Are we teaching our kids the right things about God? Should we be memorizing more Scripture with them? Are we praying with them enough? And discipline… are we doing it right? Are we really helping facilitate heart change? We move through our days trying to do it all and do it all right. Our striving often comes from a good place: we desire to be good moms and godly individuals. But our striving ultimately leaves us feeling burned out and in bondage to our finite strength and capabilities...

Trading Striving for Rest in MotherhoodChristina Fox2025-01-20T19:13:31+00:00

Parenting is Hard

LISA UPDIKE | GUEST Parenting is hard. I mean really hard. I know. Of course, parenting is rewarding, wonderful, and awe inspiring. I’m not denying any of that. In parenting, we experience a depth of love that we never knew we could fathom. In parenting, we catch a glimpse of our Heavenly Father’s great love for us. In parenting, we begin to understand just a wee bit of why Jesus laid down his life for us, his beloved children. Still. Parenting is hard. Some days more than others. I’m right, and you know it. It’s important on those difficult days to remember that hard isn’t bad; it’s just hard. In fact, hard might even be good. It’s funny. We think if God calls us to do something then He will make the path clear, straight, navigable. Somehow, we actually believe that if God calls us to something, and we obey, then it should be easy. But somehow life just doesn’t work that way, does it? You see, God calls us to the hard. Jesus promised that we would have tribulation in this world (John 16:33). Paul even said that Christians rejoice in their sufferings! (Rom. 5:3) And sometimes, parenting is definitely full of both tribulation and suffering. I wonder if, when God told Eve there would be pain in childbearing (Gen. 3:16) if He meant the whole experience of raising children would increase in pain. We parents are so vulnerable. After all, we love these children of ours and want to protect them from all the difficult things that can happen: rejection, failure, sickness, disability, temptation…on and on the list goes. When our children suffer, we suffer. But our job isn’t to protect them from suffering, is it? After all, God loves us far more than we love our children, and He actually brings suffering to us for our good. Our job is to point our children to Jesus in the midst of it all...

Parenting is HardChristina Fox2025-01-18T15:06:55+00:00

Empty Nesting: Discovering Radical Trust

EOWYN STODDARD |GUEST I find myself in a quiet house we recently moved into, having left our previous city of 23 years just as our last child left for college. My husband is away for ten days for work, and our aging family dog is as disoriented as I am by the silence and stillness. Her persistent whining pulls me from my solitude. It was not always this way. Our home used to be bustling with the activities of raising five children—mornings were a flurry of getting everyone to school, followed by afternoons filled with homework, sports, and family dinners. Beyond our own children, we hosted German students for the past five years, engaging in nightly discussions about life and faith. Those years were full, but that chapter has closed. A New Chapter I typically enjoy new chapters in books as they signal progress and adventure, but this one feels different. The pages of my life ahead are blank, and I am uncertain how to fill them. After 25 years of mothering, I struggle with who I am now without it. I recall, as a young, introverted mother, guiltily daydreaming about a time when the house would be quiet, and I would have more space for myself. Do not get me wrong! There are certainly benefits to this new phase: the freedom to structure my own time, travel with my husband, and the opportunity to pursue personal interests. Yet, I miss those days of crazy chaos...

Empty Nesting: Discovering Radical TrustChristina Fox2024-09-24T16:26:46+00:00

Created for a Purpose

INGRAM LINK |GUEST In 2006, I had a house full of children (11, 9, 7, and 1). My husband had a struggling business, and I was doing a variety of things to contribute financially. We enjoyed close friendships and were involved in our church and our community. Our families did not live close by, but those relationships were strong, and we spent vacations with our extended families on both sides. In the midst of what was normal life, my oldest daughter struggled. She was smart, kind, and had talents and abilities, but she often found herself on the outer circle of different friend groups. Socially, there was an immense push to be on a certain level soccer team, dance team, gymnastics team, etc. There was also social pressure to pull children out of regular classes and be placed in enrichment classes. I saw her and the girls around her striving to be identified by what they did, rather than who they were. My mom is an artist, and she always encouraged us to be creative. As a result, I was the mom that let the kids use glitter and help me cook in the kitchen. To remind my daughter and other girls her age that they were created by God in His image for His purposes, I reached out to some other creative moms to offer a weeklong creative arts camp for girls in my home. Throughout the week, we focused on 1 Timothy 4:12, “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” My intention behind the camp was to use hands on, tangible ways to show the girls what it means to be wonderfully made by the God of the universe. The girls cooked a meal, sewed, painted, created a photo scrap book, and made a nativity sculpture. They had fun and they loved being together, creating, laughing, and hearing truths from God’s Word woven throughout the activities...

Created for a PurposeChristina Fox2024-08-26T14:46:01+00:00

At the Start of a New School Year

JAMYE DOERFLER | CONTRIBUTOR Seven years ago, when my family moved to a new city, we had a drastic change to our children’s schooling. My three boys had been enrolled in a teeny Christian school with an excellent curriculum and godly teachers. I served on the PTA and spent many hours in the school planning fundraisers and running the book fair. Our family loved both the education our kids received and the environment in which they received it. Then, we had an opportunity to plant a church in a new city. As we were praying for God’s leading in this possibility, I distinctly remember having a strong sense from the Spirit that said, “You’re going to plant a church, and your kids are going to the public school.” I myself had only attended parochial schools and then went to a Christian college, so I felt some trepidation about this idea. And yet I felt confident that this was from the Lord. In fact, I knew it was God’s will because it was not what I otherwise would have chosen! Plus, it made sense logically: if we were to be missionaries in a new place, we needed to be part of the community in a meaningful way, and we needed to be where non-Christians were. Still, it was heart wrenching to say goodbye. I had watched my oldest son thrive in the Christian school for six years, but our younger two were only just beginning, and it made me sad for them to miss out on what he’d experienced. On the last day of school, one month before we were to move, I was a blubbering mess of tears as I circled the parking lot one final time. And what a fearsome thing awaited us! My oldest son would be switching from a class of 6 to a class of 225 in seventh grade. And in middle school—the scariest age of all! On top of that, he’s never been like everyone else. He marches to the beat of his own drum. I mean, this was a kid who wore three watches on his wrist for no apparent reason at all. What would a bunch of public school kids think? The first day of school, I was terrified. I was sure he would be bullied. As the day ended, I stood at the end of my driveway peering up the street like the father of the prodigal son, desperate to see my child return safely. Finally, I saw him. There were no visible bruises. His hair did not appear to have been flushed in the toilet. Maybe he was…okay? “How did it go?” I asked when he arrived. Completely nonplussed, he replied, “It was good.”...

At the Start of a New School YearChristina Fox2024-08-14T13:39:19+00:00