motherhood

A Subtle Attack Against Motherhood

MARYBETH MCGEE|GUEST “But how do I find joy in the middle of the cracker crumbs and dirty diapers? When will it ever get better?” she asked. The woman asking the question had five children under the age of five, and four of them came two-by-two. Her circumstances were challenging, to say the least. Tired but eager to learn, she sat at a folding table in our small Bible study room among women of many generations and walks of life, who had all likely asked a similar question. It Can’t Get Better; It’s Already Good As we dug back into God’s Word, the discussion led us to conclude that it can’t really get any better. God has ordained or allowed every circumstance that we will face. And those circumstances? They are for our good and His glory. How could it get any better than that? Romans 11:36 tells us that all things are “from him and through him and to him.” And this compels Paul’s response—the one we can all echo— “To him be the glory forever. Amen.” Our frustration in the daily challenges of motherhood comes when we confuse the idea of things “getting better” with what we truly desire: joy. But how do we find joy in the Lord in a world that seems to call us in a different direction? The Source of Our Joy There is a trend in social media that makes it seem as though we are fighting our way through the torture of raising children, as if they are like an enemy. Culture tells us that their needs are a burden, their inexperience in life is something to make fun of, and their emotional meltdowns are viral content for entertainment. In many ways, the world would have us believe that challenging seasons of parenting are a bad thing that we have to trudge through until we get to the “better” thing. In the meantime, we can find temporary relief from these frustrations by enjoying the never-ending stream of humorous memes and video clips. But there is a sinister underlying message in this trend of “mommy humor.” My sweet friend, just under the surface of that humor is a lie. It whispers that motherhood should make us happy—eventually. But motherhood can never produce what we will only ever find in the Lord...

A Subtle Attack Against MotherhoodChristina Fox2023-08-17T14:27:51+00:00

God is Near: Certain Comfort for Moms

LISA UPDIKE|GUEST I walked into Walmart thinking about purchasing a watermelon and salad greens to create a nice, fresh summer meal. I pushed my sunglasses up on my head and proceeded through the route I always take: through the seasonal and sale stuff (just in case there is something good) and then past the candles, women’s clothes, and straight to the produce. Walking my route, I was taken aback. Where the sunscreen had been showcased just last week stood huge displays of glue sticks, pencils, markers, and crayons. Excuse me, Mr. Manager; don’t you know I haven’t even gone on my summer vacation? It is certainly not time to think about school yet! Still, no matter how frustrated I might get with the early arrival of school supplies in my store’s aisles, the new school year is just around the corner, and mothers everywhere are preparing their hearts for the new school year—homeschoolers, Christian schoolers, and public schoolers alike. A Fear We All Have Felt In my role as the Director of Children’s Ministries at my church, I’m privy to the thoughts of many mothers. As moms think about “back to school,” one emotion keeps bubbling to the surface over and over. I hear it in their voices, in the questions they ask, and the conversations they have. It’s not a pretty emotion. It’s one that can sometimes paralyze us. Fear. We’ve all felt it. Moms are afraid of the task of raising children in today’s culture. When kids are home with us all summer and activities are more family based, that fear slips into the recesses for a bit. But the thought of sending our kids out again to interact with others at school, sports, even our homeschool co-ops, means exposure where we might not have control over what comes in...

God is Near: Certain Comfort for MomsChristina Fox2024-06-21T19:11:03+00:00

God’s Transforming Work in the Life of Our Sons

JESSICA ROAN|GUEST If there’s one subject I know a lot about, it’s teenage boys. I had only one brother, only male cousins my age, a male best friend, am raising two sons, and am surrounded by them daily in my high school classroom. Boys can be rambunctious, funny, squirmy, hot-headed, sensitive, and sometimes complicated. For some of us, parenting or mentoring teen boys feels frightening, like trying to tame a tornado you can’t even track. And yet, when I listen to the woes of other boy-moms or fellow teachers, I find myself smiling. Not because the challenges they face aren’t serious or concerning at times, but because I have seen the other side. My own father, my husband, and numerous past students were all once teen boys whom people were very concerned about. Were the concerns valid? Yes. Will I have many concerns about my own sons and future students? Absolutely. But I have seen God transform even the most challenging teen boy into hard working, loyal, sincere men, and yes, into men after his own heart. God Loves Making Immature Boys into Godly Men He was young and insignificant, so unimpressive that his father didn’t even consider him when Samuel came to call. The prophet was looking for a king, and David couldn’t possibly be it. He was too small, too young, and not strong enough for a job like that. While Samuel observed the sons of Jesse, “ . . . the Lord said to Samuel, ’Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart’” (1 Sam. 16:7). By God’s power, David kept Saul subdued with the sound of a lyre and defeated Goliath with a slingshot and stone....

God’s Transforming Work in the Life of Our SonsChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:21:29+00:00

Parenting in the Age of LGBTQ+

KELLY URBON|GUEST An “age” is a cultural period marked by the prominence of a particular item or a particular way of understanding the world. By that definition, our current cultural moment certainly represents a new age with respect to identity, sexuality, and gender. Never before have sexuality and gender been so persistently centered, and so drastically redefined. The numbers related to this change can be a bit shocking. According to a recent Gallup poll, the number of individuals who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or by some description other than heterosexual and cisgender, doubled from 2012 to 2021. By far the biggest change is seen in those who have come of age as a member of Gen Z. A surprising 20% of those born between 1997 and 2003 self-identify as LGBTQ+. Given these statistics, it is no surprise that there has been an enormous increase in the number of parents who have a child sit down with them to reveal that they are gay, bisexual, nonbinary, trans or queer, to name a few. Many parents struggle to respond. Especially for parents whose firm theological convictions are in conflict with outright acceptance of these identities, this part of the parenting journey can be especially challenging. While there are no cookie cutter responses sufficient to meet all of the questions and tasks before these parents, the following are a few suggestions that will lay a basic foundation for a godly response. Cultivate compassion and patience Several months ago I came across a quote by Christian author Tim Challies. It has become a foundational principle in my current parenting. Challies wrote, “Remember that your children are sinners who are beset by the fierce enemies of the world, the flesh, and the devil. Be gentle with them and have pity for them. Don’t be yet another enemy to them.” Colossians 3:12 immediately comes to mind: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”...

Parenting in the Age of LGBTQ+Christina Fox2023-08-15T13:25:51+00:00

Encouragement for the Weary Mom

KATIE POLSKI|CONTRIBUTOR Just a few days ago, I picked up my phone to facetime my oldest. I looked at my reflection in the phone as I waited for my daughter to answer and noticed how tired I looked. “Does my face always look this exhausted?” I asked my daughter when she answered the call. “Mom,” she said, “you look like you always do.” I suppose it should be no surprise that the daily grind begins to show itself physically. Work, grad school, and other responsibilities certainly make me look forward to laying my head on the pillow each night. But where I feel the greatest weariness, at times, is in mothering. Being a mom is one of the most rewarding jobs the Lord has given me, but it has also been the most wearing. From infancy on, a mother regularly plays the role of referee, chauffeur, counselor, comforter, guider, provider, educator, prayer warrior, discipliner, and the list runs on. It’s no wonder motherhood can make us to feel worn down and inadequate. There are many days that I just don’t feel up for the job of being a mom. And thank the Lord for this. Gratitude For Our Insufficiencies Why be grateful for my inadequacy? Because if my children always obey, if I always feel like supermom, then I would have no reason to cling daily to the cross. Without coming to the end of my rope, I would stand in my supposed self-sufficiency rather than recognize the necessity of Jesus’ grace...

Encouragement for the Weary MomChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:34:22+00:00

Motherhood: A Chrysalis to Flight

MARIA CURREY|CONTRIBUTOR Much of motherhood is wisdom taking flight in hindsight. Prayer was the cocooning to my firstborn’s arrival—praying to get it right, to raise our baby in all the ways God desires. I remember driving home alone one evening, anticipating the arrival of this sweet child. At a tender twenty-two, my spirit sought answers, assured success, wisdom, and grace for this little heartbeat within. The comforting protection of God’s Presence filled my prayers, but in a different way from which I yearned. “Father, please help us to guide and raise this little one’s heart,” I cried. With clarity, my mind’s ear heard, “Maria, you two are just the shepherds of this baby. I am this little one’s Father and always will be. This heartbeat belongs to Me.” It was 1988. We didn’t know who was growing within, a girl or a boy, dark-haired like Daddy, blue-eyed like Mommy? We were soon to tumble head over heels in love. Our precious firstborn, a little girl, was born to us on a blistering hot August day. In a dramatically miraculous entry, saved from the clutches of near tragedy, I met her after an emergency c-section. Her expressions so like her Daddy’s, her little eyes searching my face, her ears tuned to my voice, her coos the sweetest melody; oh, to cocoon her in protected peace! Growth in a Chrysalis However, life in Christ is not a cocoon but a chrysalis. No butterfly takes wing without a complex and even painful transformation. So, it is with parenting. God, as the infinite Father and Creator, designed delicate creatures to symbolize much what our own children experience while becoming the next generation—a becoming like Him that will not be finished this side of heaven. Next came our second child, a towheaded, blue-eyed boy, who was as inquisitive as he was quick on his feet. Two and a half years later came the youngest, another son, whom we call our man of mirth. All three different and yet inescapably a mixture of us and God’s masterful design. Born into a military family, these three each have their own birthplaces as unique as their personalities, a full country triangle represented: a Washingtonian, New Yorker, and North Carolinian. The chrysalis of each involved years of development, regular challenges faced from babies to toddlers, preschool to elementary, hormonally charged middle school into high school interests, with faith more greatly formed and owned, college choices made, and life then continuing beyond. Each place we moved posed challenges, our oldest experiencing thirteen schools in her twelve years prior to college. Different homes and military installations, friends who came and went, many whom they left with tears and promises to keep in touch. What shaped, molded, and made their wings stronger? Mostly the hard places, the walls which their wings pushed against to eventually fly...

Motherhood: A Chrysalis to FlightChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:35:50+00:00

The Half-full Cup of Coffee: A New Perspective on our Interruptions

CATHERINE LARSON|GUEST “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 19:14). The half-drunk cup of coffee is a running joke in our family. At the end of many a day, my husband will find my half-empty cup of coffee sitting cold on the counter. With six children underfoot, the morning ritual was of course interrupted by the baby’s cry, by the toddler needing help at the potty, by the fight which needed breaking up, and so on. There’s a glorious inefficiency to motherhood. It doesn’t seem to matter the task, there are always ample interruptions. There are points in my day where I do nothing but hold. The baby needs holding because he is fussing, the toddler wakes up from his nap grumpy, the seven-year-old skinned his knee. By the time the day is done, the tasks are still half-done, like my half-drunk cup of coffee. Maybe you are no longer in this stage of motherhood, but how often we all find this tantalizing satisfaction “of finishing” that eludes us. When it comes to motherhood, perhaps it is because the work of raising children is so abstract, that we long to complete anything. But in our lust for completion, the actual people in our lives—the relationships—can be seen as impediments to progress...

The Half-full Cup of Coffee: A New Perspective on our InterruptionsChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:38:00+00:00

Walking With God in Motherhood

BETHANY BELUE|GUEST BETHANY BELUE|GUEST The moment I brought my little boy home from the hospital, so much in my life changed. Overnight, my whole world shifted, and I began to see life through the lens of another human being who was completely dependent upon me. My time went from things I needed to do to what the baby needed: when did he need to eat, when did he need to sleep, and why was he crying so hard? One morning, as I stood at my sink looking out at the fresh flowers in the flower box outside my kitchen window, while my baby slept in the room beside me, tears welled in my eyes. Motherhood overwhelmed me. The to-do list felt endless, the sleep felt too little, and the needs of this tiny little human felt exhausting. My need for the Lord felt great, yet my time with Him was almost nonexistent. In that moment, the voice of the Lord spoke to me, a voice of love and compassion: “My presence will be with you and I will give you rest” (Ex. 33:14). I’m not sure there could have been more needed words for a tired, anxious, first-time mother. I knew then that He was near and He saw me. He reminded me that in those days of early motherhood, He was with me, and although rest may not be found in sleep, it was found in Him...

Walking With God in MotherhoodChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:46:09+00:00

Moms: Seize the Opportunities God Provides

HEATHER MILITO|GUEST As a homeschooling mother of three, it is hard for me to find much time for anything, including showers and moments of solitude. This season sometimes seems grueling and repetitive with the day-to-day tasks of child rearing, teaching, cleaning, and feeding. Where is there time in this madness to sit and reflect on the Lord’s goodness? An Unexpected Opportunity During the early stages of motherhood, I was overwhelmed by all my motherly duties. I did not know how to fit in my time with the Lord and find this so-called “peace” that He gives. As far as I could see, the peace that was given was tucked away at night when the kids were finally asleep and I, too, was drifting off with a closing-day prayer. I felt overwhelmed as I started the daily cycle again when my children woke up sometimes as early as 4:30! The steady rhythm of my children waking up early for a feeding, or a snuggle, trained my biological clock so that this time in the morning could instead be time with the Lord. At first, I was frustrated that my body would wake up at 4:30 and stay awake, but now I see it as an opportunity to find the quiet time my soul yearned for early in my mothering years. The time that I have in the morning before starting the day is precious. I sit with a cup of coffee in my hand and my Bible in my lap and enjoy time with my Heavenly Father. It has become an essential part of my day. As I grow in my knowledge of Christ, it urges me to want to know him all the more. My mind often drifts to Micah 6:8, “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” “And to walk humbly with your God.” What a high calling God has for each of His adopted children. As His children, we are called to yearn and seek after Him. I cannot know what goodness is, what justice is, what kindness is, and who God is unless I intentionally give my time, my activities, and my best to Him...

Moms: Seize the Opportunities God ProvidesChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:44:38+00:00

The Mist of Motherhood

RACHEL CRADDOCK|CONTRIBUTOR If I am being completely honest, laundry is my least favorite household chore. Like Mary Poppins, I can find an element of fun in most jobs that must be done around the house. But when it comes to laundry, I long for a fairy godmother’s power to simply swoosh away the piles of dirty clothes. Being a mom to four means my laundry basket is always full and sock-matching seems never-ending. We have forty-two pairs of socks in a week’s worth of laundry; the odds of finding all eighty-four socks in the same week are slim. In the new heavens and the new earth, when Christ returns to redeem and restore all things, I have a holy anticipation that socks will no longer go missing. I am convinced sock causalities must have something to do with the Fall. In my flesh, laundry is a begrudging chore. In my flesh, I can’t see laundry rightly as important kingdom work. When I focus my eyes on the earthly things I can see—the piles, the baskets, and oh-so-many socks—I easily become overwhelmed.

The Mist of MotherhoodKathy Wargo2023-03-24T17:57:01+00:00