Encouragement for Moms During the Busy Holiday Season

LISA UPDIKE | GUEST The holidays. The smell of cinnamon wafts through the air. Families gather around our tables. Smiles, laughter, and music. Our hearts fill with excitement and, and…. Oh, let’s just admit it! Our hearts fill with a sense of panic! There is so much pressure heaped upon us, especially women. You must make great grandma’s corn recipe for Thanksgiving and then endure hearing how it’s not quite the same as hers. You must have a perfectly decorated house, mantel overflowing with the figurines passed down from your husband’s family. You must create wonderful memories and uphold all the family traditions. Shop, wrap, smile, go to every activity, don’t gain weight, and make sure everyone is happy. It’s simply exhausting! Isn’t this supposed to be the “hap-happiest season of all”? Well, yes. It is. The holiday season: Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year. Each one really is cause for “good cheer.” Taking time to be thankful to our heavenly Father, rejoicing in the arrival of the long promised Savior, and pausing to consider what God has done in the past year while looking forward to His continued work in the new, are actually really good things to celebrate. Our hearts ought to be lifted! So, let’s take a step back and figure out where all this pressure is coming from, put it in its rightful place, and lay hold of the joy that the Lord has for us in this season!...

Encouragement for Moms During the Busy Holiday Season2023-11-25T16:12:56+00:00

Encouragement for Those Who Struggle to Pray

JESSICA ROAN | GUEST Oswald Chambers once said, "Prayer does not equip us for greater works; prayer is the greater work.” I hate to admit it, but if that is the case, I am doing a lot of “work” and very little of the “greater work” in this season of my life. When I was single and newly married, I spent consistent time in prayer. During early motherhood, with newborn babies and young children, however, I only imagined a day when I would have more time to read the Bible and pray. Now that my sons are more independent, I am not satisfied with my prayer life at all. I pray, but my prayers seem to be in small snippets or moments of desperation, not the focused devotional times I imagine. I feel like a failure at prayer. Perhaps you are a new mom, a busy professional with a family, or someone in a season of life filled with responsibilities and distractions. Are you too discouraged by what your prayer and devotional life looks like? Perhaps we need to challenge some of the “rules” for prayer we often hold to. Quiet Time Doesn’t Always Need to Be Quiet When I was in college, I had a friend with eight siblings. I came from a home with only two children, so her home environment was foreign to me. When I went to her house, her little sister slept in the window seat so that I could have her bed (five girls lived in one room). One day we were discussing spending time in the word and prayer, and I said something flippant about the importance of finding a quiet place to be alone with God. She just smiled and looked around. In her life, the concepts of “quiet” and “alone” were not feasible. When looking over verses on prayer, one factor stood out to me...

Encouragement for Those Who Struggle to Pray2023-11-01T18:38:45+00:00

A Subtle Attack Against Motherhood

MARYBETH MCGEE|GUEST “But how do I find joy in the middle of the cracker crumbs and dirty diapers? When will it ever get better?” she asked. The woman asking the question had five children under the age of five, and four of them came two-by-two. Her circumstances were challenging, to say the least. Tired but eager to learn, she sat at a folding table in our small Bible study room among women of many generations and walks of life, who had all likely asked a similar question. It Can’t Get Better; It’s Already Good As we dug back into God’s Word, the discussion led us to conclude that it can’t really get any better. God has ordained or allowed every circumstance that we will face. And those circumstances? They are for our good and His glory. How could it get any better than that? Romans 11:36 tells us that all things are “from him and through him and to him.” And this compels Paul’s response—the one we can all echo— “To him be the glory forever. Amen.” Our frustration in the daily challenges of motherhood comes when we confuse the idea of things “getting better” with what we truly desire: joy. But how do we find joy in the Lord in a world that seems to call us in a different direction? The Source of Our Joy There is a trend in social media that makes it seem as though we are fighting our way through the torture of raising children, as if they are like an enemy. Culture tells us that their needs are a burden, their inexperience in life is something to make fun of, and their emotional meltdowns are viral content for entertainment. In many ways, the world would have us believe that challenging seasons of parenting are a bad thing that we have to trudge through until we get to the “better” thing. In the meantime, we can find temporary relief from these frustrations by enjoying the never-ending stream of humorous memes and video clips. But there is a sinister underlying message in this trend of “mommy humor.” My sweet friend, just under the surface of that humor is a lie. It whispers that motherhood should make us happy—eventually. But motherhood can never produce what we will only ever find in the Lord...

A Subtle Attack Against Motherhood2023-08-17T14:27:51+00:00

God is Near: Certain Comfort for Moms

LISA UPDIKE|GUEST I walked into Walmart thinking about purchasing a watermelon and salad greens to create a nice, fresh summer meal. I pushed my sunglasses up on my head and proceeded through the route I always take: through the seasonal and sale stuff (just in case there is something good) and then past the candles, women’s clothes, and straight to the produce. Walking my route, I was taken aback. Where the sunscreen had been showcased just last week stood huge displays of glue sticks, pencils, markers, and crayons. Excuse me, Mr. Manager; don’t you know I haven’t even gone on my summer vacation? It is certainly not time to think about school yet! Still, no matter how frustrated I might get with the early arrival of school supplies in my store’s aisles, the new school year is just around the corner, and mothers everywhere are preparing their hearts for the new school year—homeschoolers, Christian schoolers, and public schoolers alike. A Fear We All Have Felt In my role as the Director of Children’s Ministries at my church, I’m privy to the thoughts of many mothers. As moms think about “back to school,” one emotion keeps bubbling to the surface over and over. I hear it in their voices, in the questions they ask, and the conversations they have. It’s not a pretty emotion. It’s one that can sometimes paralyze us.  Fear. We’ve all felt it. Moms are afraid of the task of raising children in today’s culture. When kids are home with us all summer and activities are more family based, that fear slips into the recesses for a bit. But the thought of sending our kids out again to interact with others at school, sports, even our homeschool co-ops, means exposure where we might not have control over what comes in...

God is Near: Certain Comfort for Moms2023-08-15T13:17:08+00:00

God’s Transforming Work in the Life of Our Sons

JESSICA ROAN|GUEST If there’s one subject I know a lot about, it’s teenage boys. I had only one brother, only male cousins my age, a male best friend, am raising two sons, and am surrounded by them daily in my high school classroom. Boys can be rambunctious, funny, squirmy, hot-headed, sensitive, and sometimes complicated. For some of us, parenting or mentoring teen boys feels frightening, like trying to tame a tornado you can’t even track. And yet, when I listen to the woes of other boy-moms or fellow teachers, I find myself smiling. Not because the challenges they face aren’t serious or concerning at times, but because I have seen the other side. My own father, my husband, and numerous past students were all once teen boys whom people were very concerned about. Were the concerns valid? Yes. Will I have many concerns about my own sons and future students? Absolutely. But I have seen God transform even the most challenging teen boy into hard working, loyal, sincere men, and yes, into men after his own heart. God Loves Making Immature Boys into Godly Men He was young and insignificant, so unimpressive that his father didn’t even consider him when Samuel came to call. The prophet was looking for a king, and David couldn’t possibly be it. He was too small, too young, and not strong enough for a job like that. While Samuel observed the sons of Jesse, “ . . . the Lord said to Samuel, ’Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart’” (1 Sam. 16:7). By God’s power, David kept Saul subdued with the sound of a lyre and defeated Goliath with a slingshot and stone....

God’s Transforming Work in the Life of Our Sons2023-08-15T13:21:29+00:00

Parenting in the Age of LGBTQ+

KELLY URBON|GUEST An “age” is a cultural period marked by the prominence of a particular item or a particular way of understanding the world. By that definition, our current cultural moment certainly represents a new age with respect to identity, sexuality, and gender. Never before have sexuality and gender been so persistently centered, and so drastically redefined. The numbers related to this change can be a bit shocking. According to a recent Gallup poll, the number of individuals who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or by some description other than heterosexual and cisgender, doubled from 2012 to 2021. By far the biggest change is seen in those who have come of age as a member of Gen Z. A surprising 20% of those born between 1997 and 2003 self-identify as LGBTQ+. Given these statistics, it is no surprise that there has been an enormous increase in the number of parents who have a child sit down with them to reveal that they are gay, bisexual, nonbinary, trans or queer, to name a few. Many parents struggle to respond. Especially for parents whose firm theological convictions are in conflict with outright acceptance of these identities, this part of the parenting journey can be especially challenging. While there are no cookie cutter responses sufficient to meet all of the questions and tasks before these parents, the following are a few suggestions that will lay a basic foundation for a godly response. Cultivate compassion and patience Several months ago I came across a quote by Christian author Tim Challies. It has become a foundational principle in my current parenting. Challies wrote, “Remember that your children are sinners who are beset by the fierce enemies of the world, the flesh, and the devil. Be gentle with them and have pity for them. Don’t be yet another enemy to them.” Colossians 3:12 immediately comes to mind: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”...

Parenting in the Age of LGBTQ+2023-08-15T13:25:51+00:00

Encouragement for the Weary Mom

KATIE POLSKI|CONTRIBUTOR Just a few days ago, I picked up my phone to facetime my oldest. I looked at my reflection in the phone as I waited for my daughter to answer and noticed how tired I looked. “Does my face always look this exhausted?”  I asked my daughter when she answered the call. “Mom,” she said, “you look like you always do.” I suppose it should be no surprise that the daily grind begins to show itself physically. Work, grad school, and other responsibilities certainly make me look forward to laying my head on the pillow each night. But where I feel the greatest weariness, at times, is in mothering. Being a mom is one of the most rewarding jobs the Lord has given me, but it has also been the most wearing. From infancy on, a mother regularly plays the role of referee, chauffeur, counselor, comforter, guider, provider, educator, prayer warrior, discipliner, and the list runs on. It’s no wonder motherhood can make us to feel worn down and inadequate. There are many days that I just don’t feel up for the job of being a mom. And thank the Lord for this. Gratitude For Our Insufficiencies Why be grateful for my inadequacy? Because if my children always obey, if I always feel like supermom, then I would have no reason to cling daily to the cross. Without coming to the end of my rope, I would stand in my supposed self-sufficiency rather than recognize the necessity of Jesus’ grace...

Encouragement for the Weary Mom2023-08-15T13:34:22+00:00

Motherhood: A Chrysalis to Flight

MARIA CURREY|CONTRIBUTOR Much of motherhood is wisdom taking flight in hindsight. Prayer was the cocooning to my firstborn’s arrival—praying to get it right, to raise our baby in all the ways God desires. I remember driving home alone one evening, anticipating the arrival of this sweet child. At a tender twenty-two, my spirit sought answers, assured success, wisdom, and grace for this little heartbeat within. The comforting protection of God’s Presence filled my prayers, but in a different way from which I yearned. “Father, please help us to guide and raise this little one’s heart,” I cried. With clarity, my mind’s ear heard, “Maria, you two are just the shepherds of this baby. I am this little one’s Father and always will be. This heartbeat belongs to Me.” It was 1988. We didn’t know who was growing within, a girl or a boy, dark-haired like Daddy, blue-eyed like Mommy? We were soon to tumble head over heels in love. Our precious firstborn, a little girl, was born to us on a blistering hot August day. In a dramatically miraculous entry, saved from the clutches of near tragedy, I met her after an emergency c-section. Her expressions so like her Daddy’s, her little eyes searching my face, her ears tuned to my voice, her coos the sweetest melody; oh, to cocoon her in protected peace! Growth in a Chrysalis However, life in Christ is not a cocoon but a chrysalis. No butterfly takes wing without a complex and even painful transformation. So, it is with parenting. God, as the infinite Father and Creator, designed delicate creatures to symbolize much what our own children experience while becoming the next generation—a becoming like Him that will not be finished this side of heaven. Next came our second child, a towheaded, blue-eyed boy, who was as inquisitive as he was quick on his feet. Two and a half years later came the youngest, another son, whom we call our man of mirth. All three different and yet inescapably a mixture of us and God’s masterful design. Born into a military family, these three each have their own birthplaces as unique as their personalities, a full country triangle represented: a Washingtonian, New Yorker, and North Carolinian.  The chrysalis of each involved years of development, regular challenges faced from babies to toddlers, preschool to elementary, hormonally charged middle school into high school interests, with faith more greatly formed and owned, college choices made, and life then continuing beyond.  Each place we moved posed challenges, our oldest experiencing thirteen schools in her twelve years prior to college. Different homes and military installations, friends who came and went, many whom they left with tears and promises to keep in touch. What shaped, molded, and made their wings stronger? Mostly the hard places, the walls which their wings pushed against to eventually fly...

Motherhood: A Chrysalis to Flight2023-08-15T13:35:50+00:00

The Half-full Cup of Coffee: A New Perspective on our Interruptions

CATHERINE LARSON|GUEST “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 19:14). The half-drunk cup of coffee is a running joke in our family. At the end of many a day, my husband will find my half-empty cup of coffee sitting cold on the counter. With six children underfoot, the morning ritual was of course interrupted by the baby’s cry, by the toddler needing help at the potty, by the fight which needed breaking up, and so on. There’s a glorious inefficiency to motherhood. It doesn’t seem to matter the task, there are always ample interruptions. There are points in my day where I do nothing but hold. The baby needs holding because he is fussing, the toddler wakes up from his nap grumpy, the seven-year-old skinned his knee. By the time the day is done, the tasks are still half-done, like my half-drunk cup of coffee. Maybe you are no longer in this stage of motherhood, but how often we all find this tantalizing satisfaction “of finishing” that eludes us. When it comes to motherhood, perhaps it is because the work of raising children is so abstract, that we long to complete anything. But in our lust for completion, the actual people in our lives—the relationships—can be seen as impediments to progress...

The Half-full Cup of Coffee: A New Perspective on our Interruptions2023-08-15T13:38:00+00:00

Walking With God in Motherhood

BETHANY BELUE|GUEST BETHANY BELUE|GUEST The moment I brought my little boy home from the hospital, so much in my life changed. Overnight, my whole world shifted, and I began to see life through the lens of another human being who was completely dependent upon me. My time went from things I needed to do to what the baby needed: when did he need to eat, when did he need to sleep, and why was he crying so hard? One morning, as I stood at my sink looking out at the fresh flowers in the flower box outside my kitchen window, while my baby slept in the room beside me, tears welled in my eyes. Motherhood overwhelmed me. The to-do list felt endless, the sleep felt too little, and the needs of this tiny little human felt exhausting. My need for the Lord felt great, yet my time with Him was almost nonexistent. In that moment, the voice of the Lord spoke to me, a voice of love and compassion: “My presence will be with you and I will give you rest” (Ex. 33:14). I’m not sure there could have been more needed words for a tired, anxious, first-time mother. I knew then that He was near and He saw me. He reminded me that in those days of early motherhood, He was with me, and although rest may not be found in sleep, it was found in Him...

Walking With God in Motherhood2023-08-15T13:46:09+00:00
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