Tag Archives: motherhood

Helicopter Parents: Don’t Fly Away!

by Christina Fox, in category Motherhood

Every time I scroll through my social media account, I see some type of warning about being a helicopter parent. They say kids these days are too sheltered and are suffering from our fear-laden over-protection. I know that I’m not supposed to obsess over my child’s life. I’m not supposed to solve his problems for him, perfect his resume, or rescue him from natural consequences, but I’m wondering, am I a helicopter parent? Are you? And if we are, what should we do instead?

I’m concerned that as a society we’ll panic and swing the pendulum in the opposite direction. In an effort to avoid over-scheduling, over-indulging, and over-controlling our children’s lives, we’ll simply steer our helicopters away, erring on the side of neglect.  In 20 years, we’ll discover that our children have grown up without the much-needed presence, wisdom, affection, and support of their parents. Parents will simply “helicopter” somewhere else, obsessing over careers, self-image, health, pets, or whatever.

Simply “flying away” is not the solution.

Good News for the Underqualified Mom

by Christina Fox, in category Motherhood

My first job out of college was at a domestic violence shelter.I was twenty-one years old, newly married, and the ink on my college diploma had barely dried when I took the job as a counselor for women who were caught in violent relationships. Though I had the heart and desire to help these women, I was sorely prepared. Though I had learned a lot about the helping field in college, I had little experience.I was underqualified. I knew it and the women I helped knew it.Fast forward a number of years later when I was expecting my first child. I had read dozens of parenting books. I had taught parenting classes as part of my counseling work. I had talked to every mom-friend I knew to get their advice on various aspects of motherhood. But when I held my newborn son in my arms, I knew it. I think he knew it too.I was underqualified. Incapable. Insufficient.Underqualified MomI’ve always been an independent sort. When I have a goal, I work hard and pursue it. I may seek advice or assistance along the way, but ultimately, I know if I want to get to where I’m headed, I have to do the work that’s required. I faced motherhood the same way. I’m not a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of person; I like to be prepared. So I bought all the books, studied all the methods, and read all the research.I applied myself to motherhood the same way I did a project or paper in college. I put everything into it the way I did my work. But unlike other things in life, motherhood did not fit so neatly into a box. My children did not always conform to what the books said. The methods often failed. The research often turned out meaningless.As a result, I was humbled. Like the stretch marks forever etched in my skin, motherhood stretched me beyond what I was capable of within myself. I learned that I was weak and insufficient and couldn’t rely on my own resources or strength. I had to face the truth that I couldn’t depend on my own wisdom. I couldn’t find help and hope in methods. I couldn’t make life work for me.If there’s one thing motherhood has taught me, it’s that I can’t do it on my own. I need help from outside myself. I need Jesus.

Moms, Embrace Your Sonship

by Christina Fox, in category Motherhood
MEG FLOWERS|GUEST I have a love hate relationship with those fill-in-the-blank Mother’s Day surveys kids bring home from school. You know the ones…My mom loves to: let me watch TV. My mom weighs: 17 pounds. My mom is really good at: ordering things on Amazon. My favorite thing my mom cooks is: Pop-Tarts. While I… Read More

7 Women to Remember this Mother’s Day {and How to Remind Them God Sees}

by Christina Fox, in category Motherhood

I grew up in a church that publicly honored mothers on Mother’s Day. At the entrance to the sanctuary, they placed a box of little carnations to be pinned on the blouses of women with children as a sort of badge of honor. During the welcome, the pastor would ask all of the mothers to stand. It is right to honor mothers. So much of their sacrificial work is performed in middle of the night moments or behind closed doors, and it is good to affirm their efforts, stirring them up to love and good deeds when they may be tempted to feel as if no one sees or their work doesn’t matter.This ritual to honor mothers was certainly a help to me growing up. My selfish childish heart needed to consider all the ways that my own mother laid down her life for our family and to thank her for it. I remember feeling proud of my mom as she stood during the public acknowledgement of mothers. I also wondered why she always cried, and I remember seeing that most of the women cried during this part, seated and standing alike. Despite all of the beautiful opportunity that this holiday offers to affirm the role of mothers, it can also be a trigger, exacerbating deep seeded pain in those with children and those without. For this reason, Mother’s Day provides the church not only with an opportunity to “see” the unseen work of mothers, but to acknowledge the unseen pain of all women, caring for them by reminding them that our God is El Roi, the God who sees.

Sanctification in Motherhood

by Christina Fox, in category Motherhood
CHRISTINA FOX|EDITOR I don’t know about you, but when I was expecting my first child and thinking about what motherhood would be like, I didn’t factor in the problem of sin and what its impact would be on my mothering. Before I became a mom, I pictured motherhood to be like the sweet mother and… Read More

The Back to School Weirds

by Christina Fox, in category Motherhood
MEG FLOWERS|GUEST Back to school gives me all the feels. I have a wise, loving friend who is a mama of grown children. She describes “back to school” as a release—a way we send our children into another layer of the broken world, and our mama hearts into a deeper place of trust. Each year… Read More

Finding Contentment in Motherhood

by Christina Fox, in category Motherhood
EMILY DAGOSTIN|GUEST Last year the stomach bug held my whole family hostage the week before Thanksgiving, so I turned to the one foolproof, self-medicating outlet within my grasp: Netflix. Since I was able to keep down a few saltine crackers, I decided my stomach could handle viewing a few episodes of The Great British Baking… Read More

It’s a MOB Scene

by Christina Fox, in category Motherhood
RENEE MATHIS|CONTRIBUTOR Mother of the Bride. If weddings aren’t a better snapshot for motherhood in general, I don’t know what would be. Here you are trying to control a zillion details and people, none of whom sit still long enough to get in a coherent word, there’s lots of money involved, oh and tears… and… Read More