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Tag Archives: joy

Mar152021Feb 26 2021

Covenant With a Cranky Woman

by Christina Fox, in category Uncategorized

SUSAN TYNER|CONTRIBUTOR

Do you tend to avoid cranky people? Go out of your way to avoid the teen who just got grounded or an exhausted coworker who started her day by stepping on a Lego?

But what if I am the cranky one? I can’t escape me. Sure, I have tricks up my sleeve to stuff my frustrations so I can function at work. I can fix a smile during lunches with friends so I do not hint at the dark musings of my heart. However, my guard drops back at home and my crankiness is more obvious as I bang dinner dishes, yell “shut up” to the dogs, or give the silent treatment to my family. I see them avoid me, and I wish I could escape from my cranky self, too.

I wonder if Naomi felt the same way.

In the Book of Ruth we see Naomi’s story unfold. Her family left Bethlehem and went to Moab in search of bread, and though they found actual bread, they did not find what they really went for: health and life. Ten years later, Naomi’s husband and boys are dead, and she is left alone except for her two Moabite daughters-in-law, Ruth and Orpah. A widow without male protection doesn’t have many options. She hears the famine back home is over and returns, her daughter-in-law Ruth in tow. They arrive back in Bethlehem, and Naomi tells her hometown friends, “I went out full, and the LORD has brought me home again empty. Don’t call me by my old name, Naomi (“pleasant”) but call me Mara (“bitter”).”

Empty. Bitter. Maybe even a little cranky?

In chapter 2, Naomi comes across almost numb and depressed when Ruth goes to find work in the fields. Only when Ruth mentions the name Boaz do we see a spark as Naomi responds, “blessed be he of the LORD, who has not forsaken His kindness to the living and the dead” (Ruth 2:20). By the end of the story, we see Boaz taking both widows into his family and Naomi holding a grandbaby. But even though the writer does not explicitly say it, the real hero is God, not Boaz. We as the audience see what was happening all along. God was sticking close to Naomi because she was part of His family. Another way to describe His loving-kindness is with the term covenant, a solemn promise that God would never leave His children, His sheep.

Covenant even with the cranky.

In the flock of God, Naomi was a cranky sheep and God kept His covenant with her anyway. Sometimes you and I are cranky sheep, too. Perhaps our losses of dreams, expectations, or loved ones leave us dry and brittle. Or maybe we look up one day, and we are far from the community of God’s people and don’t like how our cynicism compares with their contentment. We wonder if God wants to avoid us because we are really not that fun to be around.

Thankfully, God doesn’t keep His covenant promises only to the happy faces, the productive hands, and the hearts that sing with VBS vigor, “I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.”  He sticks with cranky women too—the women out of energy to pray; women bitter from hard work and empty bank accounts; and women haunted by mistakes that can’t be undone.

Where do I go if I’m cranky?…

Jan132020Dec 12 2019

Union with Christ in the Storms of Singleness

by Christina Fox, in category Singleness

Recently I traveled alone between my two worlds: Philadelphia, my home and vocational base and the Midwest where I have decades-long friendships. Somewhere over Ohio I realized afresh that no one but the Lord really knew me in both worlds. Only Jesus had journeyed with me emotionally, relationally, and spiritually 24/7 in both places. I’ve had many of these heart-pang moments and yet realize that even if I had a traveling companion (friend or husband) who stood by my side, that person wouldn’t know me fully. There is only One who can: Jesus, the one in whom I am hidden in the intimate and unique home that I share with him alone.

Our union with Christ is an important truth of the gospel, and therefore our identity as Christians. Whether if single or married, or if you face storms or sweet joys in your life station (most of us experience a combination of both!), the eternal fact of being united to Christ needs to be a primary lens through which we interpret and respond to our circumstances. Including when you’re thirty thousand feet above ground, feeling sad and unknown, and inching towards the downward slide of melancholy.

What Union With Jesus Means

Jesus helped his friends understand the idea of union with him through a metaphor of a vine and branches.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches, apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:4-5)

Paul talked about this spiritual concept in his pastoral letters.

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)

For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.  (Colossians 3:3)

“Abiding” (or remaining, having a home) in Jesus, Christ “in us,” and our lives being “hidden” in him all speak to the spiritual reality of our connection to Jesus through faith in his accomplished work on the cross and resurrection. All that was ours (sin and eternal spiritual death) and all that is his (holiness, eternal life, a spiritual nature, identity as the beloved Son) are exchanged. At the cross, he united himself to our hopeless human state and opened the door for us to be grafted into him, gaining access to the riches of heaven!…

Jan62020Dec 12 2019

Finding Joy in January

by Christina Fox, in category New Year

I don’t want to be contrary but talk about the new year never sits well with me. Yes, it’s a new year, I get it. One day it’s 2019 and the next day—and perhaps a few noise makers later—it’s 2020. The media likes to turn this into some giant significant occurrence as if flipping the calendar page changes anything.

But do you know what the new year actually brings? January. And the reality is that for most of us, January is squarely in the middle of our year. Nothing is new. We are doing the same things we did a week ago and will continue to do for the foreseeable future.

If you had a child in fifth grade in December, they are still in fifth grade in January. If you had a long commute to your job in December, you’re still commuting in January. Oh, here’s one I especially love in Boston, if the climate you live in is cold in December, guess what? It’s still cold, probably colder, in January.For many of us, January can be a struggle exactly because we are in the middle, and all the talk of new beginnings makes us feel inadequate and tired.

What we need in January is not a contrived fresh start but a real and faithful walk on the road we are already on, following the One who always goes before us, year-round.

One of my favorite chapters in the Bible is 1 Corinthians 15. It’s a chapter about the work and power of the resurrection of Christ. Unlike flipping a calendar page, when you believe in Jesus and all that His life and resurrection means, then everything really does change….

Dec122019Nov 12 2019

When Christmas is Not the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

by Christina Fox, in category Christmas

“It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, 
It’s the Hap-happiest season of all…

Except….when it’s not.

In the days leading up to our first Christmas without our youngest child, sixteen-year-old Mark, Harry Connick Jr.’s merry lyrics sharply contrasted with the tears and unending ache in my chest accompanying me every minute of every day. Even the night of his death, Christmas was on our minds. On our way home from the hospital that hot July night, stunned to be leaving without our child, Chuck grabbed my hand and whispered, “Christmas, what will we do about Christmas?”

Over twenty years later, I experience joy in this “most wonderful time of the year” but not because it’s the hap-happiest season of all. Because it’s not. About two weeks before Thanksgiving I begin to feel disorganized, disconnected, and emotionally edgy. Anger and impatience vie for top billing in situations that don’t normally rattle me.  And every year Chuck reminds me that my root problem is grief. I miss Mark. The freight train of sorrow still surprises me with its ferocity and power.

One reason the holiday season is so difficult for grieving Americans is because marketing gurus tap deep into our core need for community and family. Thanksgiving and Christmas are ready made opportunities for stirring up our God-given hunger for peace and whole families. The most effective ads are those that imply their product will produce healthy, conflict-free relationships. Divorce, broken relationships, childlessness, loss of a loved one, financial disaster, singleness, conflict-filled marriage—none of these fit the “hap-happiest time of the year” template. The ads only serve to magnify the holes in our own broken lives.

10 Tips for Christmas Grief Relief…

Apr182019Mar 7 2019

In a Little While: Jesus’s Promises in John 16

by Christina Fox, in category God's Word

When my oldest daughter was six, my husband and I left the country for two weeks. Two weeks. It’s really not that long, but, from the perspective of my six-year-old, it seemed like an eternity. She was afraid to be left without us, she was sad because she was going to miss us, and she was worried about what it would be like with us gone.

Knowing phone calls would be difficult at best, I left her with several things to comfort her when she was sad and strengthen her when she was afraid—a photo of us, some notes to read, and the reminder we would be praying for her. I also tried to reassure her by telling her, “We’ll be back before you know it.” After all, we were only going to be gone a little while.

A little while. The phrase is used seven times in John 16. Jesus, preparing his disciples for his death, said, “A little while, and you will see me no longer; and again a little while, and you will see me” (John 16:16). At the thought of Jesus leaving, the eleven disciples were like my daughter: they were afraid, sad, and worried. Not only did Jesus reassure them with the certainty they would see him again, he also promised them he would leave them three things: his Spirit, his joy, and his peace.

Nov152018Nov 15 2018

In All Things with Thanksgiving

by Christina Fox, in category Thanksgiving
KRISTEN HATTON|CONTRIBUTOR I tossed and turned trying to go back to sleep. It was only 4am but my mind was already racing with deadlines, to-do’s, and insecurities. Topping the list was the live Internet show I was being interviewed on later that morning to discuss my new book The Gospel-Centered Life in Exodus with a… Read More
Oct112018Sep 23 2018

Joy in Difficult Days

by Christina Fox, in category Suffering
KATIE POLSKI|CONTRIBUTOR By all appearances, it was an ordinary day. I remember it was a rather hot spring day, and the sky seemed to burst with blue. Everything on the home front was ordinary – waking tired kids, grabbing quick breakfasts, and rushing out the door for school. My sister was in town, and we… Read More
Sep212017Sep 22 2017

What Kind of Pastor’s Wife Are You?

by Christina Fox, in category Ministry

KATIE POLSKI|GUEST I went to the pool a few weeks ago and met a woman about my age. Through an exchange of pleasantries, she learned my husband is a pastor at a PCA church and immediately asked about my role as a pastor’s wife: “So, what KIND of pastor’s wife are you?”   I’ve had folks… Read More

Feb22017Feb 2 2017

Depression: One Woman’s Journey

by Christina Fox, in category Suffering

TWILA MILES|GUEST This morning, as I sat alone at my kitchen table waiting for the sun to come up, I felt the fog of depression begin to settle over my heart and mind again. Feeling its tendrils wrap around me, my pulse quickened as a slight sense of panic began to arise. I longed for… Read More

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Recent Posts

  • E-133 Remember Why You Do What You Do with Carrie Mills
  • Jesus Mercifully Listens to Us
  • The Joy of Not Being Needed
  • E-132 Remember to be a Word-based Woman with Pam Benton
  • Five Ways to Love Stateside Missionaries
  • The Resurrection: A Return on Investment

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