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Cherish: A Safe Place for Growth

KIM BARNES | CONTRIBUTOR A few years ago, my husband, a pastor, and I experienced a significant crisis in our ministry life. We were crushed. I went from being a pastor’s wife who loved the church and could imagine no better life, to being a pastor’s wife who thought it would be great if her husband found a different line of work. I went from viewing gathered worship as a place of ministry, hospitality, and joy to a place that my head knew was necessary and good, but that my heart struggled to be present for. I couldn’t imagine ever being able to truly love and trust a local church again. I’m thankful that during that season, I had access to counseling for pastor’s wives through Cherish. Connecting with Cherish I have a vivid memory from the summer of 2019. My husband had gone ahead of me to his new pastoral call while I stayed behind to finish the packing, house-selling, and other necessities. As I sat amongst boxes, I took a break and scrolled on my phone and saw a post on social media about a new program from the PCA: Cherish. It offered free and discounted professional counseling for PCA pastor’s wives. I’d seen this promoted online before, but it didn’t seem like the right time for me to pursue counseling. We were in the middle of a big move that was stressful; adding something else to my life seemed like a bad idea. Yet, in that moment, nudged by the Holy Spirit, I thought I should check it out...

Cherish: A Safe Place for Growth2025-02-24T16:05:10+00:00

Light and Life for Caregivers

GINNY VROBLESKY|GUEST When I was in graduate school, I remember listening in wonder as the professor described plants as photoautotrophs—eaters of light. They take the energy from the sun, combining it with water and minerals to make the oxygen and food that enables the rest of us to live. Through them, light becomes life to us.   This image of trees absorbing light and giving off life came to me recently as I thought of caregiving for my dad. Usually, I dwell on the challenges I face, my inadequacy and fears, not on the privilege of sharing light and life with him. But he depends on me, in the same way young children depend on their parents. We become life sustainers or life givers, and who of us is adequate for this? As Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 3:5, “Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God.” What do we feed on to sustain us so that we may give to the ones under our care? Feast on His Faithfulness Psalm 37:3b says that we are to dwell in the land (where God has placed us) and to feed on His faithfulness. We are to nourish our spirits on His care for us right, even in the midst of the trials of the day. The verse also refers to Isaiah 40:11, a passage where God reminds His people that He cares for them as a shepherd cares for His sheep. Making a list, even if only in our minds, of ways God has cared for us during the day reassures our hearts that He is present with us. The verse also refers to Isaiah 40:11, a passage where God reminds His people that He is caring for them as a shepherd. In our culture, shepherds walk behind the sheep, often pushing them forward with sheepdogs. But in the Middle East, a shepherd walks before the sheep, calling them by name, leading them forward. They follow him because they know his voice and trust him. Jesus uses this picture to describe Himself in John 10. As we think of how He has shepherded us in the past we can have more courage to follow Him into the often-difficult future of caregiving. He understands how the threats and challenges of life shake us. But He assures us that He is with us, goes before us, and calls us to come with Him into that future. David also encourages us to taste and see that the Lord is good (Ps. 34:8). He ponders this goodness in Psalm 31 as he remembers that his times are in God’s hands, and that God had wondrously shown His steadfast love (or faithfulness) to David when David was in a besieged city. As caregivers, we often feel we are in a confined, tough place, but that is where God can show us His steadfast love. The reality of His faithfulness is definitely food for our souls...

Light and Life for Caregivers2025-02-24T15:48:37+00:00

What Does God’s Protection Entail?

AMY SANTARELLI |GUEST I pushed my 4-year-old granddaughter on the swing while she chatted away. My attention was suddenly piqued as she ended her ramblings with the words, “But I know that God will keep me safe.” I was happy to hear her talking about God, but I also found myself pondering the accuracy of her theology. Is it true that God will keep us safe? What does God’s protection entail and not entail? How do we properly understand this ourselves, as well as teach it to our children? We don’t want to tell them God will keep them safe and then when difficulty strikes, they feel God abandoned them, think He doesn’t care about them, or that He couldn’t or wouldn’t come through for them. The Importance of Biblical Context In the Bible we find many wonderful passages describing God’s care and protection of His people. But it is crucial that we practice good hermeneutics as we interpret those passages. We need to look at the context of the verses, who they were originally written to, and for what purpose. Here’s an example from Deuteronomy 28:7:  The LORD will cause your enemies who rise against you to be defeated before you. They shall come out against you one way and flee before you seven ways. To discern the context here, is it helpful to understand biblical covenants...

What Does God’s Protection Entail?2025-01-20T18:59:38+00:00

Parenting is Hard

LISA UPDIKE | GUEST Parenting is hard. I mean really hard. I know. Of course, parenting is rewarding, wonderful, and awe inspiring. I’m not denying any of that. In parenting, we experience a depth of love that we never knew we could fathom. In parenting, we catch a glimpse of our Heavenly Father’s great love for us. In parenting, we begin to understand just a wee bit of why Jesus laid down his life for us, his beloved children. Still. Parenting is hard. Some days more than others. I’m right, and you know it. It’s important on those difficult days to remember that hard isn’t bad; it’s just hard. In fact, hard might even be good. It’s funny. We think if God calls us to do something then He will make the path clear, straight, navigable. Somehow, we actually believe that if God calls us to something, and we obey, then it should be easy. But somehow life just doesn’t work that way, does it? You see, God calls us to the hard. Jesus promised that we would have tribulation in this world (John 16:33). Paul even said that Christians rejoice in their sufferings! (Rom. 5:3) And sometimes, parenting is definitely full of both tribulation and suffering. I wonder if, when God told Eve there would be pain in childbearing (Gen. 3:16) if He meant the whole experience of raising children would increase in pain. We parents are so vulnerable. After all, we love these children of ours and want to protect them from all the difficult things that can happen: rejection, failure, sickness, disability, temptation…on and on the list goes. When our children suffer, we suffer. But our job isn’t to protect them from suffering, is it? After all, God loves us far more than we love our children, and He actually brings suffering to us for our good. Our job is to point our children to Jesus in the midst of it all...

Parenting is Hard2025-01-18T15:06:55+00:00

Wrestling With God in Our Suffering

JULIANNE ATKINSON |GUEST As soon as I saw the area code of the phone call my husband was receiving, I knew something was off. I was pregnant with our first child and set to move for his job to Nashville, TN at the beginning of my third trimester. This was a city I had friends in, I knew there were good churches there, and it was a city we both liked. After a short conversation, my husband conveyed the news that there was a post they hadn’t accounted for in rural, northern New York state and he was now at the top of the list to take it. I was disappointed, but it wasn’t my first move and I hoped that God would have a good church and community there waiting when we arrived. Instead, I found a desolate place I never grew to love. I had left a large church in San Antonio where I was on staff and knew and loved each family and their kids by name. In New York, there were a  handful of families hoping for a PCA pastor to come and pastor them. Church members brought meals when I had my son, but it felt more like they were checking off a box than done so out of friendship. I gathered the women of the church and started a Bible study in hopes of fostering fellowship as we studied God’s Word together. I ended up spending the study time preventing my son from climbing sky high, getting into people’s desks, and drinking bathroom chemicals. My husband worked long hours, weekends, and sometimes over an hour away. I was more lonely than I was during the Covid lockdown. It seemed like every hope I had for our move was dashed. The depths of disappointment I felt contrasted with the hope of change and led me to wrestle with God through it. Here my head-knowledge intersected with my very real and difficult circumstances. Were my toes digging into a sandy beach as the storm swirled around me or were they resting on the solid rock of the foundation of God’s promises? If everything around me fell down, I knew He would not.  As believers, sometimes we suffer pain and loss so deep that we come to a crossroads in our relationship with God and who he is. Some might respond to that pain as though with a finger in his face saying, “How could GOD do this to ME?” Our hearts are hardened. We feel bitter. We struggle to forgive God. And we turn and run FROM him. Others might ask the same question, but with trust in God’s faithfulness to his promises—that he really is who he says he is. “How COULD God do this to me?” In that moment, we run TO Him and His Word. As we wrestle with his Word, we will find rest in the midst of our pain and rock under our feet...

Wrestling With God in Our Suffering2025-01-08T18:35:45+00:00

Celebrating Christmas with Hope

BETHANY BELUE | CONTRIBUTOR Christmas is my favorite season with children, with all the lights, decorated yards, Christmas festivities, and the awe they experience as they soak in each fun holiday activity.  It’s a sweet time of joy and celebration and I make every effort to enjoy each moment with them and let go of my stress and anxiety that sits just below the surface. That’s because, in the midst of all the celebrations and joy, the hard parts of this life still exist. In my community, there are broken relationships, marriage hardships, the first Christmas without a parent, another Christmas with empty arms, and the longing to celebrate this holiday with a spouse. The pain I see all around me is real and deep, and yet Christmas is coming. All those sorrows will not disappear in the middle of feasts and festivities. I often wonder what it looks like to hold both joy and sorrow as we approach this special holiday.  During a recent conversation with a friend, I was reminded of something Tim Keller said while I sat under his teaching, “Christmas means that you will never be alone.” I remember that season of life when I heard those words and how they filled my heart with peace. No matter what my life may look like, no matter what sorrows I’m sitting in, or unmet desires I’m waiting for, I am not alone. Jesus was born so that I may never be alone...  

Celebrating Christmas with Hope2024-12-05T15:02:53+00:00

The Good Portion of Christmas

MEAGHAN MAY | CONTRIBUTOR As a child, I was fascinated by the tiny nativity set at my grandmother’s home. These little figures told me a big story. But as an adult, I ponder if these sets are realistic.  Mary is fresh-faced, neatly pressed, and beautifully dressed. She doesn’t seem uncomfortable with her flapping stomach after her recent labor. The baby Jesus is giggling while placed in the animals’ snack bowl and dear Joseph doesn’t seem overwhelmed by the task of caring for his betrothed and new child. Does the pristine nativity scene set unrealistic expectations for our own celebrations? I have found that some of my own Christmases have been more of a mess than they have been merry. Each Christmas I have a list of key elements that I think, if I can just pull all this together, we will have a Merry Christmas. But I can tell a lot about what I long for at Christmas when I start to name what I am worried about. I am tempted to think that because things have gone awry, God is holding out on me. I fail to consider that God is offering me something more than what I am requesting....

The Good Portion of Christmas2024-11-22T16:44:40+00:00

Daring to Hope

ALICE KIM | CONTRIBUTOR At the end of Mark chapter one (vv. 40-45), we are introduced to a man plagued with leprosy. He lived his life as a public service announcement warning people to keep their distance lest they become like him. His inescapable daily reminder of a scorned, forgotten, and marginalized existence would be humiliating and painful enough to make anyone cower. Nevertheless, as Jesus’ public ministry to the ill and demonically tormented was widespread, he found himself at a crossroad between deferring hope or desiring for something more (Pr. 13:12). He courageously chose the latter. Notably, the narrative seems to slow down as the man approaches Jesus and kneels before him. It’s as if Mark leans in and personally invites readers to do likewise. A hope long buried was suddenly resurrected. Although awakening hope would be risky, to the point of vulnerability to greater ridicule, isolation, and judgment, the cost of doing nothing could potentially haunt him with unrelenting regrets filled with what-if’s. His lowly posture embodies his desperate plea. It exudes the depth of anguish, indescribable affliction, and utter shame. His confession, “If you will, you can make me clean” carries the heaviness of helplessness and dependence...

Daring to Hope2024-10-31T18:09:11+00:00

The Gift of Crisis

LYNNE RIENSTRA | GUEST I was at our denomination’s General Assembly when I received the call from my radiologist: “Mrs. Rienstra, your tests reveal that you have breast cancer.” Fast forward to six weeks later. As my husband was driving me home from the surgery that removed my cancer, a car ran a stop sign and slammed into us, right in front of where I was sitting. Within minutes I found myself in an ambulance on my way to yet another hospital.  Crisis. It’s the gift none of us wants. Because when crisis comes, it broadsides us. It reminds us that in spite of our best efforts, we are ultimately out of control. Crisis exposes us as those who are in deep need and unable to help ourselves. It causes us to cry out to God. But what if at that very point, crisis turned out to be a gift? Crisis Reveals More of God to Us When crisis hit the family of Mary and Martha of Bethany (John 11:1-44), they never dreamed that embedded in the sickness of their brother Lazarus was the extraordinary opportunity to experience Jesus in a whole new way. The sisters knew two things: Jesus loved them and their brother (vv. 3; 5), and Jesus had the power to heal. So, when their brother Lazarus fell ill, they did what any of us would have done: they asked Jesus for help. Having sent for Jesus, the sisters expected to see Him arrive quickly and save the day. Only He didn’t. One day passed, and Lazarus worsened. Another day passed, and their worst fears were realized. Lazarus died. Lazarus was buried. And still no sign of Jesus…. When Jesus finally did come, Martha ran out to meet Him, saying, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (v. 21). With Lazarus’s body decaying in a nearby tomb, Jesus made the stunning revelation that He is “resurrection and the life” (v. 25). And in faith-filled response, Martha proclaimed, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God…” (v. 27). Here’s my question: Would this essential truth have been revealed to Martha apart from the wrenching loss of her brother? Let’s also consider her sister, Mary, still back at the house, suffering in deep grief. This is the Mary whom Jesus had invited to sit at His feet. She had chosen the better part. Mary knew Jesus loved her and her brother. But the crisis of Lazarus’s death may have caused her to wonder (as we often do in our own crises): “Why didn’t Jesus come? I thought I knew Him. I must have lost His love.”...

The Gift of Crisis2024-10-02T15:02:46+00:00

One Voice, One Hope

JESSICA ROAN | GUEST For one night, a few times a year, a shabby 60-year-old auditorium stage is transformed into a magical scene where a group of ragtag students from all nationalities, academic levels, and socioeconomic groups come together  to make beautiful music. As a public school teacher and a parent of students in the school in which I teach, my emotions always run high at school music concerts. Unlike many  in the audience, I know how truly remarkable this moment is. I know that on this night the valedictorian, the child with a math disability, the outcast, the orphan, and a student from one of the most prominent families in town will come together as one. Thanks to the school’s affordable rental program for instruments and even suit jackets and dresses, the ground is even on that stage. All of the drastic differences in finances and home situations vanish when the director raises her hand and the members play Vivaldi as one.  Just like the students in my school, we live in a divided world. It doesn’t take much for us to take sides against one another. Topics surrounding politics, what we read in the news, theological differences, and even how we raise our children can divide us in a heartbeat. Yet, just like a myriad of violins, violas, cellos, and basses in the hands of teenagers from diverse experiences and backgrounds can come together in miraculous harmony, so too can we as God’s children voice Christ’s anthem.  We Have the Same Creed With the release of the remake of Rich Mullin’s “I Believe What I Believe,” I was led to 1 Corinthians 15, what some might call Paul’s own Apostle’s Creed. We all need a reminder of what it is we believe in—what we place our hope in. We live in a tumultuous world. People are confused about what is true and right. In such times, believers can join together and speak of who Christ is. We can point others to these unchanging truths—truths that provide real hope to a world that is lost.   Paul tells the Corinthians “Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—unless you believed in vain” (1 Cor. 15:1-2). What is this gospel?  Christ’s perfect life, sacrificial death, burial, and resurrection (1 Cor. 15:3-8). Paul is careful to point out that this set of beliefs is true despite who relays the message. With some claiming to follow Paul or Apollos in 1 Corinthians 3, Paul is careful to say, “Whether then it was I or they, so we preach and so you believed” (1 Cor. 15:11).   Causes abound in today’s world. Many issues compete for our attention. Now, more than ever, it is time to do as Paul did and vow to “know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified” (1 Cor. 2:1-3).... 

One Voice, One Hope2024-09-27T18:49:03+00:00
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