gospel

How to Cope with Anticipatory Grief as a Caregiver

ELIZABETH TURNAGE|CONTRIBUTOR As Marissa Bondurant mentioned in our last article in this series, caregiving, while a burden, is also a calling. Today I want to explore one of the common challenges of this calling: anticipatory grief. Anticipatory Grief Three years ago, Lara’s father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. As his primary caregiver, Lara is struggling. She finds herself crying frequently, losing her temper daily, and feeling anxious constantly. Like many caregivers of people with progressive or terminal disease, Lara is experiencing anticipatory grief. According to bereavement counselor Marty Tousley, “Grief occurs in anticipation of and following a loss. Extended illness, disability, severe accidental injury, a terminal diagnosis, or the aging and decline of an elderly family member can produce anticipatory grief.”[i] Symptoms of anticipatory grief may include anger, anxiety, depression, denial, irritability, and difficulty concentrating. The caregiver may also experience a sense of hope as she imagines the coming relief from her caregiving burden. Following that sense of hope, she may feel guilt. While many psychologists call this grief “anticipatory,” others note that “anticipatory” may not be the most accurate term, because the caregiver is experiencing grief over current loss—the loss of the ability to enjoy life with her loved one as she did in the past, the losses her loved one now experiences due to limitations, and the loss of the caregiver’s “normal” life. The first thing caregivers need to know is that both anticipatory grief about the future and present grief about the loss of past joys is to be expected. In addition, the caregiver can take comfort from and learn from Jesus as she navigates anticipatory grief...

How to Cope with Anticipatory Grief as a CaregiverChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:46:46+00:00

Cultivating Community on Your Leadership Team

SHEA PATRICK|CONTRIBUTOR I’ve noticed a recurring theme in the phone calls I have received during my five years as a Regional Advisor on the PCA’s national women’s ministry team: the women’s ministry team at a particular church is unable to accomplish any of their goals because someone is trying to take over the team, or strife and conflict have caused relationships to completely break down. How can our leadership teams work together while loving and serving the church and each other well? I believe the answer is by working on the relationships between the women on the team. Even more, the relationships on our team can help our women’s ministry to support the mission and vision of the church or it can hinder these same things. We can take steps toward cultivating community on our team by doing two things: 1) remembering God’s design and 2) intentionally pursuing community...

Cultivating Community on Your Leadership TeamChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:47:15+00:00

Burning Bridges and the Story of Elisha

SHARON ROCKWELL|CONTRIBUTOR Early in my career, a wise mentor warned me to never burn my bridges. He had an example of how a colleague who had a run-in with a manager, left the company, only to discover in a few months that the manager had also taken a new job, and was now his boss! Ouch! The colleague had hoped for a new start, but instead found himself bringing old relationship problems with him. Never burn your bridges was standard industry mantra, so that you could always go back to someone for help or favors. This year my Bible study is reading 1 and 2 Kings. The story of Elijah calling Elisha to be a prophet intrigued me. Certainly, Elijah was directed by God to find Elisha plowing in his field. Elisha’s heart was touched by the Holy Spirit, and he was immediately ready to leave and follow Elijah. But before he left, he wished to say good-bye to his parents. He then prepared a feast by burning the yoke of his oxen for fuel to boil the meat. He shared the meat with the people who were plowing alongside him. What commitment! Elisha left his friends and family and destroyed his worldly possessions by burning them, to answer Elijah’s and God’s call. He would become a servant to Elijah. The idea that Elisha “burned his bridges” captured my attention. There was no turning back for Elisha...

Burning Bridges and the Story of ElishaChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:22:30+00:00

New Beginnings: On God’s Mercy and Grace

SHARON ROCKWELL|CONTRIBUTOR The beginning of a new school year was always one of my favorite times. There was something exciting about seeing unopened textbooks and knowing that by the end of the year, I would have a thorough understanding of that new subject, or at least evidence that I gave it my best effort. It was a time of new beginnings, regardless of last year’s results. I feel the same way about New Year’s resolutions. The idea of starting over toward a new goal encourages me to persist in improving some skill, tackle some sin which has been plaguing me with temptation, or sharpen my commitment to daily Bible reading, even if I don’t make it all the way through the year. The idea that I can still have a fresh start again next January is comforting. Thankfully, God meets us on a much more abbreviated timeline. Sometimes I can hardly make it through the day in keeping the promises I committed to in my morning prayers. But God’s mercies are new each morning. It does not matter if it is a repeat sin, a failed attempt to do better in my walk with Christ, or simply that the “the flesh is weak.” The Lord extends mercy to us daily when we fall. He also abundantly pardons us. Isaiah 55:7 says, “Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.”...

New Beginnings: On God’s Mercy and GraceChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:45:17+00:00

Oh Holy Night

LAURA STORY|GUEST I remember as a young girl riding in the backseat of my parents’ station wagon as we drove the all-too-familiar two-hour trek to my grandparents’ house for Christmas. My dad usually worked at the hospital on Christmas Eve so we would rarely get on the road before dark. As we navigated the twists and turns of those North Georgia mountain roads, we could see the stars so clearly from the rear-facing, bucket seats. And anyone who grew up in the 80’s knows exactly what I’m talking about! That’s when Christmas began for me. And not just because of the amazing view of the starry host, but because of the soundtrack of carols that played on every backwoods station we could find on our FM radio. Yes, Christmas had finally arrived! Perhaps my all-time favorite of these carols was the classic, O Holy Night: O holy night, the stars are brightly shining, It is the night of the dear Saviour’s birth; Long lay the world in sin and error pining, 'Till he appeared and the soul felt its worth....

Oh Holy NightChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:45:49+00:00

Come Thou Long Expected Jesus

HANNAH AN|GUEST Come, Thou long expected Jesus Born to set Thy people free; From our fears and sins release us, Let us find our rest in Thee. Israel's strength and consolation, Hope of all the earth Thou art; Dear desire of every nation, Joy of every longing heart. Born Thy people to deliver, Born a child and yet a King, Born to reign in us forever, Now Thy gracious kingdom bring. By Thine own eternal Spirit Rule in all our hearts alone; By Thine all sufficient merit, Raise us to Thy glorious throne. By Thine all sufficient merit, Raise us to Thy glorious throne As a Korean American growing up in the suburbs of Atlanta, I remember celebrating Christmas in our tiny first-generation Korean church. Each Christmas Day, we would gather as a congregation, young and old, sing Christmas carols, listen to a sermon in Korean (much of which I did not understand), and end our time in the fellowship hall breaking bread together. The sanctuary would be decorated and filled with poinsettias along the front of the stage with two tall lighted Christmas trees flanking the sides. We sang the usual Christmas hymns that everyone knows from “Joy to the world,” “O Come All Ye Faithful,” to “Silent Night”—all sung in Korean. Afterwards, we would all head downstairs to the fellowship hall to gather at long rectangular tables lined up in neat rows up and down the large room, eating rice and soup with a side of kimchi, and piling our plates with special sweet Korean rice cakes called dukk for dessert. As a young child, I found Christmas to be a joyous time for families in the Korean community to come together to celebrate the birth of Jesus. It was a season that many families would look forward to, and one of my favorite memories from childhood. As I grew into my adult years, I stumbled upon the season of Advent and fell deeply in love with the hymn “Come Thou Long Expected Jesus.”...

Come Thou Long Expected JesusChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:46:21+00:00

Sometimes Efficiency Is Overrated

KIM BARNES|GUEST In my yard lay a stack of firewood that needed to be relocated. We recently purchased a fancy red wheelbarrow. It was strong and sturdy and perfect for the job at hand. I put on a pair of work gloves, grabbed a piece of wood in each hand, walked across my yard, and dropped the wood in the new location. My fancy wheelbarrow remained untouched while I made 40-50 trips carrying two pieces of wood at a time until all the wood was moved and neatly stacked. What was the point of doing this job the hard way? It was not an efficient way to complete the task. Anyone could see that it made much more sense to load up my brand-new wheelbarrow with wood and get the pile moved in 3 or 4 trips. But here’s the thing. Moving the pile of wood wasn’t my only goal. In an effort to improve my physical fitness, I was on a mission to log at least 10,000 steps per day. In service of that mission, I looked for things to do that would enable me to log steps while also accomplishing something. I parked far away from the entrance to the grocery store. I walked up my longish driveway to get the mail, even when I knew I’d be leaving soon for an errand and could just pick it up on my way out. I took the stairs instead of the elevator. Efficiency is great when you need to make thousands of cars or grow acres of food. But sometimes efficiency gets in the way of the greater mission...

Sometimes Efficiency Is OverratedChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:46:30+00:00

When Art Reminds Us of Eternal Truth

REBEKAH COCHELL|GUEST “...the Lion of Lucerne is the most mournful and moving piece of stone in the world.” —Mark Twain Art has a transcendent quality. It can cause us to contemplate the struggles and joys of human experience. Sometimes it overwhelms us with the beauty of the mundane or the eternal. I believe that the search for truth, beauty, and goodness is inherent to the artistic process and is so embedded in the human heart that even if artists do not acknowledge the Creator in their hearts, their art often communicates some truth of the Divine. Since moving to Europe, I have encountered powerful aesthetic responses to beauty three times, bringing me close to tears, and taking my breath away. One of these times was when I visited the Lion of Lucerne in Switzerland...

When Art Reminds Us of Eternal TruthChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:47:29+00:00

True Immortality: Facing Death with the Hope of Christ

ELIZABETH TURNAGE|CONTRIBUTOR Transhumanist Zoltan Istvan believes we shouldn’t have to die; in 2015, to share his “gospel,” he drove around the United States in the “Immortality Bus,” “a brown bus spray-painted to look like a coffin.”[1] Biogerontologist Andrew Steele describes “biological immortality,”[2] arguing that aging should be viewed as a disease that will one day be cured. In a world that resists aging, denies death, and increasingly seeks to achieve immortality, how should Christians respond? We need to begin with a solid understanding of how the Bible teaches us to view both mortality—death and dying, and Christian immortality—eternal life in Christ. The Beginning of Death In the beginning, God formed humans from the earthy dust, breathing life into them, shaping them in his image, with the potential for living forever (Gen. 2:7; 1:26-27). He called them “very good” (Gen. 1:31). God generously invited Adam and Eve to eat from every tree of the garden but commanded them not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (Gen. 2:16). If they ate from that tree, he warned, they would die (Gen. 2:17). The serpent which Satan embodied, approached Eve (and Adam, who was standing right beside Eve (Gen. 3:6)), tempting her to eat from the only forbidden tree. When she objected, the serpent scoffed, “You will not surely die” (Gen. 3:4). Adam and Eve did take of the fruit of the tree, but oddly they did not die physically, at least not immediately. Instead, their eyes were opened, they discovered they were naked, and they felt shame. They hid from God as he walked through the garden seeking them. The first death was a spiritual one, but through sin, both spiritual and physical death had now entered the world (Rom. 5:12). The story could have ended there. By God’s grace, it did not. Even before God told Adam and Eve the consequences of their sin, he addressed Satan, telling him he would one day send a child who would crush him (Gen. 3:15). This child would be God’s own Son, Jesus, and he would destroy Satan by dying on a cross. It is the first proclamation of the gospel in Scripture. We should grieve death and dying. As pastor Dan Doriani writes, “Death is a foe, not a friend. It is a curse and an outrage, the bitter fruit of the fall, not a natural process.”[3] And yet, because God allowed his own Son to die, God’s people have hope for a different ending. It is in this hope that we face the harsh reality of death and dying...

True Immortality: Facing Death with the Hope of ChristChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:48:19+00:00

The Most Important Discipleship Group

SHEA PATRICK|CONTRIBUTOR In high school and college, I participated in discipleship groups. These groups met each week to talk about our struggles and what the Lord was teaching us. I grew in my relationship with the Lord because of these wonderful opportunities to learn and grow in my faith. But as I became a mom and began to consider what it looks like to disciple my children, the discipleship model I was used to did not seem to fit. My children would not even sit still! With the Lord’s help, I have reconsidered what discipling my kids means and how it changes as they grow and mature. Now that my kids are nine through fourteen years old, discipleship looks very different from my early expectations. But the three main components of instructing, coming alongside, and getting at the heart have remained consistent...

The Most Important Discipleship GroupChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:49:07+00:00