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From Bitterness to Forgiveness

JULIANNE ATKINSON |GUEST Seventeen years ago, someone who I thought highly of hid behind a computer and lied to me. I did mental gymnastics to attribute their best intentions to the lie. It was like talking to a piece of wood. I didn’t know at the time the price I would pay for the lie and it took me much longer to accept that I was the one to have to pay it. My closest relationships, parts of my reputation, and even some hopes and dreams I had for my life were damaged. It felt impossible to come back from. As image bearers, we have inside us a strong sense of both justice and mercy. It’s no accident that God makes it hard to let go of what we see as injustice. Our glorious God manages to uphold both justice and mercy perfectly. We are encouraged with verses not only asking us to forgive, but also requiring it (Matt. 18:21-35; Eph. 4:32). I love the tender words of Paul in Romans 12:19 “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” We could think of the quote “vengeance is mine” with a tight, angry fist or even with bitterness that we can’t take revenge ourselves, but the command is actually an invitation. God calls us as His beloved to let the tears flow, let our laments be heard in heaven, and let our Savior walk alongside us in our grief. We do so, knowing that God will tread the winepress of wrath and personally wipe every tear from our eyes. There is peace and humility in our finitude. He knows every offender’s true motives, generational sins and brokenness, background of trauma, and pain that leads hurt people to hurt people. He alone knows what justice demands in every circumstance. Three Lessons in Forgiveness This doesn’t make forgiveness easy. Here are three things I wish I had known about forgiveness from the start. First, the road of healing is longer for some sins than others...

From Bitterness to Forgiveness2024-09-23T15:35:30+00:00

What Jesus Shows Us About Self-Control

SUE HARRIS | CONTRIBUTOR In 1978, Melissa Manchester famously, but tragically, sang, “Don’t cry out loud. Just keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings.”  It’s a complicated song about learning to cope with pain. Melissa Manchester’s antidote to a broken heart is this: don’t show pain, be strong, and learn how to hide your feelings. Other than the pleasure of hearing Manchester’s amazing pipes belting out the chorus, I don’t recommend the song or the accompanying video with the creepy circus clown. I certainly don’t recommend the song’s posture toward love, pain, and suffering. Most importantly, I don’t think Jesus would, either. But in reading Titus 2, I noticed that Paul, when talking about teaching sound doctrine, repeats the idea of self-control four times in that chapter. Four times! People of all ages and stages are to be taught self-control. This is sound doctrine, according to Paul. I’ve considered the lost art of self-control in our express- yourself- and- find- your- voice world. I wonder if hiding or denying our feelings is a way of exhibiting self-control. Is Paul telling us to keep silent about our pain? Is that self-control? Spoiler alert for anyone who hasn’t seen any of the Inside Out movies, denying or hiding our feelings isn’t healthy. But more than healthy…is it biblical? I know there’s a difference between hiding or denying our feelings and exerting self-control, but how does this tension play out in everyday life? A Model of Self-Control When I think about perfect self-control, I think about Jesus when he was summoned by Herod. Remember, there was some triangulation going on between Jesus, Herod, and Pilate. Neither Herod nor Pilate wanted to take legal responsibility for Jesus. They didn’t seem to know what to do with this man, so they were sort of trading him back and forth, perhaps to see what the other would do. Eventually, Herod agreed to meet Jesus and was very glad because he wanted to see him perform miracles (Luke 23:8). But if you recall, Herod was also the ruler who ordered the killing of John the Baptist, Jesus’ cousin, not long before this meeting. John’s death wasn’t simply a murder; it was a brutal, grotesque decapitation that was celebrated at a party Herod threw. This is where it gets explosive and unfathomable to me. This is the moment that the Lord Jesus exhibits a level of self-control that I can’t possibly understand. Can you imagine coming face-to-face with such a wicked man as Herod?...

What Jesus Shows Us About Self-Control2024-08-14T13:36:01+00:00

What’s In Your Worldview?

STEPHANIE HUBACH | CONTRIBUTOR About twenty years ago (I just realized that phrase can only be casually tossed out when one is over age sixty) Capital One created a series of commercials that ended with the question, “What’s in your wallet?” Each commercial envisioned an admittedly outrageous scenario (read: Vikings vacationing in the Grand Canyon) which ended up having some serious financial ramifications. In other words, as crazy as the storyline was, in the end—all that really mattered was, “What’s in your wallet?” The implication being: “If you don’t have a Capital One card—you are in deep, deep trouble.” We live in a world of increasingly outrageous story lines. Only they are not the stuff of funny commercials. They are the stuff of real life in our current cultural moment. More than ever, the question before us is not “What’s in your wallet?” but, instead, “What’s in your worldview?” As disciples of Jesus, if we do not carry a Christian worldview, we are in deep, deep trouble. Now, I can already guess what some of you are thinking… “Ugh. I’ve heard this worldview thing to death!” Or maybe, “I already have a Christian worldview. Next topic, please!” In either case, I’d like to encourage you to stop and take a deep breath and a second look at this subject. Let me explain by telling you a bit about my youngest son Tim, who has Down syndrome. Tim loves the Lord. Tim loves life. And he loves the Disney channel. When Tim was in high school the movie High School Musical was released. As he often does, he watched the DVD over and over again. Ultimately, he decided that he didn’t want to just be like Troy Bolton (the basketball star in the film) he wanted to be Troy Bolton. So, one day he confidently marched into the Athletic Director’s office at the high school and asked to sign up for the basketball team. Soon, I got a call from the Athletic Director’s office, and Tim was on the line. He could hardly contain his joy! “I have GREAT NEWS! I made the team!” Now, happy as I was to hear his elation, I also knew that Tim was 5’2” tall, weighted 170lbs. and had never played on a basketball team in his life. So, I knew there had to be more to the story. At this point, the Athletic Director got on the line and explained to me that he had invited Tim to be the manager. As Tim’s mom, I knew this would be a great fit for him. And I expressed my gratitude, even as I thought to myself, “And I am sure this is not what Tim is thinking!” I knew I’d have a lot of explaining to do when Tim got home. So, I met him at the bus stop....

What’s In Your Worldview?2024-08-06T17:19:43+00:00

Set Free Indeed

TARA GIBBS | CONTRIBUTOR As a young mother, I took my one and three-year-old toddlers with me weekly to visit an elderly homebound widow. Seeing this woman’s joy in the hugs and laughter of my two children was a delightful gift. But, as I left each week, I began noticing unsettling thoughts in my mind and heart: “It is so wonderful that you visit this woman with your toddlers each week! What a good thing you are doing! If people knew, they would really say nice things about you.” How frustrating it felt to not be able to do one thing without pride. I knew the solution was not to stop doing the right thing, but I wondered if there would ever be freedom from this weight of sin. I wondered, “Is the Christian life just one, long slog of feeling guilty all the time?” Twenty-five years later, I would commend my younger self for identifying and confessing the sin in my heart. But I would also encourage “younger me” that a continual slog of guilt is not how the Bible describes the Christian life. Repentance was in order, but when repentance turns into one more opportunity to over-focus on self, I have missed the mark. We can construct a false, self-made identity through focusing on good works, or we can build our self-made identity by over-focusing on guilt and shame. In both cases, I am the focus...

Set Free Indeed2024-07-20T13:52:00+00:00

Social Media and the Search for More

SHEA PATRICK | CONTRIBUTOR One of my boys made a new friend at camp this summer, and they stayed in touch by text after they got home. I noticed something concerning when I looked at his phone: he misrepresented himself to this girl. Sometimes, he lied about things he had accomplished and places he had been, but mostly, he made himself out to be more than he is. Connecting with peers is an important part of adolescent development. Yet, it is complicated by the fact that teens are still learning who they are—not to mention the additional challenge of communication mediated through a device. One of the greatest challenges in our day is when our devices become the medium by which we look for identity. This isn’t merely a challenge for teens alone. I find myself doing that through my social media accounts as well. My son and I both use our phones to look for more or to even BE more. For example, I will post something to my account (mostly about my family) and check back frequently to see how many likes and comments that my post has received. Each thumbs up gives me a hit of dopamine that I end up chasing, wanting even more. When no one responds, I feel ignored. It becomes a vicious cycle of always needing more. Make no mistake, we use social media to receive more: more significance, more validation, more attention. Using social media this way ignores the fact that what it provides is not real, such as those carefully curated posts that only show people at their best moments or posts airing dirty laundry (sometimes literally!)—all in the attempts of receiving more likes and follows....

Social Media and the Search for More2024-05-20T17:38:55+00:00

Terribly Beautiful

LAURA PATTERSON | GUEST “Mom, why did I have a brain injury?” The dinner-table inquiry of my eight-year-old hit me like a ton of bricks. The heaviness wasn’t due to the novelty of the question but to its repetition. The ‘why’ has become a recurrent question for a child who is becoming increasingly aware of his differences. And the question is one that necessitates answers that come in deepening layers over the years. My son knows that he has cerebral palsy. He knows it was caused by damage to his brain. And he knows a developmentally appropriate medical explanation for what happened in my pregnancy and his earliest days of life. Yet his question still remains: why? The conversation around the dinner table labored on as my husband and I both grappled out loud, before our children, with what we know of the God in whom we profess faith. Of his sovereignty. Of His good purposes. Of the glory He can receive in all things. Answering Hard Questions Our ten-year-old, listening and processing from the seat to my left, interrupted, “…but why would God’s plan include something bad?” It’s easier to talk about suffering and disability when it isn’t sitting right next to me. But it’s another thing to apply what I know to be true in the very present reality of pain, tears, weariness, and grief. In that holy moment around the dinner table, the heart of what we could share with our three boys is that we really don’t know why God does all that He does. We don’t know why God has seen fit for life to include unending therapy appointments, specialist doctor visits, special education, surgery, orthotics, and the list could go on...

Terribly Beautiful2024-05-01T15:55:05+00:00

Cultivating a Heart for Evangelism

JANE STORY |GUEST The call of Matthew 28 to “go and make disciples” rings down through the centuries, spurring the church to share the gospel. Anyone who has read through Acts has felt the conviction of realizing that every Christian is entrusted with sharing the truth of Jesus. Yet evangelism is difficult. It can feel awkward and uncomfortable. We might fear how people respond to us. We may worry that we will look foolish if we don’t have all the answers, or that we will say something confusing or offensive. Despite the difficulty, sharing our faith with others doesn’t have to be an insurmountable obstacle. In fact, we can even be excited about sharing our faith with others. It all begins with cultivating the right attitude. A right understanding and practice of sharing the gospel is a crucial part of our sanctification. I was raised in a Christian home and came to faith at young age. As a child, I was regularly exposed to teachings about evangelism, and had moments where I inexpertly attempted to share my faith. But by the time I entered college, I had grown disillusioned. I believed that every person was a sinner in need of saving by Christ alone. Yet I had also become deeply uncomfortable with all but the mildest forms of evangelism. Years of listening to American culture lash out against awkward or inappropriately coercive Christians had dissuaded me from my former zeal. I came to a place where I would only share the gospel with my closest friendships or if I was asked about my faith directly. Otherwise, I would be “respectful” by keeping it to myself. In college I found Cru, a campus ministry known for their incredibly direct evangelism style. “Initiative evangelism,” which means walking up to strangers with the explicit purpose of sharing the gospel, is taught and practiced regularly. I joined the group but stayed far away from these activities, fearing we were scaring people away from Christ. However, as I encountered Scripture and the kind persuasion of other believers, my heart did a complete one-eighty. Here are some key passages and principles that altered my perspective:...

Cultivating a Heart for Evangelism2024-03-29T18:03:16+00:00

Jesus Loves Me, This I Know

STEPHANIE HUBACH | CONTRIBUTOR Does the Guinness Book of World Records have a category for “longest period of time for keeping the same item magnetized to a refrigerator?” I sincerely doubt it. However, since the first all-steel home refrigerator was introduced by General Electric in 1929, that’s only a 95-year record to contend with. So, I’d say I’m doing pretty well. My magnetized item is actually a piece of newsprint (stuck in a magnetic frame), that says in large letters, “Jesus Loves Me, This I Know.” It’s been on my various refrigerators for 32 years. How do I know the exact amount of time? I know because my son Tim, who has Down syndrome, was born 32 years ago. 32 Years Ago—Jesus Loves Me, This I Know: My Sheer Act of Faith Five days after New Year’s Day of 1992, I gave birth to my second son. That evening, I heard the words that changed my family’s life forever. “We believe your son has a chromosomal abnormality.” As it turns out, a little piece of extra genetic material can influence a whole host of changes in a human body. Some of those changes create authentic challenges (to the point of being life-threatening, such as severe cardiac conditions). Some of those changes bring forth wonderful qualities in a “super-abundance” not as fully experienced by those of us with a typical collection of 46 chromosomes. In those early days, my heart was understandably caught up with the former: the weight of the authentic challenges and the practical nature of addressing those difficulties. By choice, we did not know in advance that Tim had Down syndrome. (That’s a conversation for another day.) Nor did we know that he would have a tumultuous ride of health issues in his first year, culminating in open heart surgery at seven months old. The tsunami of new responsibilities in terms of medical care and therapies, accompanied by grief at the loss of my expectations for what I thought Tim’s life (and ours) would look like, made our infant and toddler days with our oldest son, Freddy, feel other-worldly. Sometime, early in this journey, is when the newspaper clipping became attached to my refrigerator. “Jesus Loves Me, This I Know.” Christmas vacation occurred the weeks just prior to Tim’s birth. We were all home together, as my husband had time off from work. And I specifically remember intentionally enjoying that time with Freddy—knowing (but not how much) it would change soon, with the addition of a new baby. I also distinctly recall singing a particular song with him—one that I remember God bringing to mind (from my own childhood) during that time. It was this: There is a name I love to hear I love to sing its worth It sounds like music in my ear The sweetest name on earth O how I love Jesus O how I love Jesus O how I love Jesus Because he first loved me...

Jesus Loves Me, This I Know2024-03-05T17:52:13+00:00

Responding to Our Sin

JULIANNE ATKINSON |GUEST My favorite writer in the Bible is the Apostle Paul. If Paul was a murderer and God STILL used him on the scale he did, he can use me despite my sins and failures. If Paul wrestled deeply in sin struggles and God STILL loved him, he can love me too. And after all of that, if Paul can fervently love Jesus with his mind and heart, pointing to him in what he says and does, I want to do that too. We see Paul’s heart in the book of Romans. I find chapters 7 and 8 especially encouraging where Paul writes about struggling with his sin. He describes how he does what he doesn’t want to do and doesn’t do what he wants to do (Rom. 7:15-20). We tend to idealize biblical characters, but Paul opens up about the fact that he has to literally wage war with his own sin, citing covetousness as an example earlier in the chapter. Our sin can be intimidating when the scales fall off and we see the true depths of our depravity. We often respond in several different ways to the reality of our sin. The large-scale analogy that I like to think of to compare it to is what happened at Chernobyl. Before the current tragic war, I was blessed to go to Ukraine a couple of times and teach English. One year, many Ukrainians told me about the HBO series on Chernobyl and said they loved it so I decided to watch it for myself. They were right. It is fantastic and I recommend it. Using this analogy, I want to describe three ways we might respond to our sin. Enter into the Struggle If there’s one thing that characterizes this series, it’s being told the right thing to do, and choosing the wrong thing to do, over and over, to the devastation of many lives. Sin can be like a nuclear explosion. It’s ugly, messy, and it contaminates everything in its vicinity. At Chernobyl, the nuclear core mysteriously explodes, and we see people respond just the way we do when we see our sin. First, we have the nuclear physicists. They’re the heroes. They acknowledge the problem and enter into the struggle, just as Paul does with his sin in the book of Romans. They’re informed; they know something happened and that it was catastrophic. They know the right thing to do and that it’s embarrassing; it requires some serious sacrifice, lots of work, and if they don’t act immediately and engage with the issue it will get much, much worse. “For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live” (Rom. 8:13). Cover it Up...

Responding to Our Sin2024-02-17T18:05:04+00:00

Be Ready and Willing to Serve

JESSICA ROAN | GUEST It was more than just “one of those days.” It was more like “one of those months” or “one of those years”, a time unlike any I had ever experienced before. It was the fall of 2021, and while our school district was going back to school, it was unlike any other first week of school in my memory. It was the return to school after quarantines and fear and chaos of the pandemic. As teachers, we all began that week feeling uncertain and unsettled. On this busy day, I received an email. I recognized the name as soon as it came across my screen, but what the email contained caught me by surprise. This former student wanted me to read her admissions essay for a Christian college. I knew her and her family, so this request was fitting, but as I read her testimony about how God had transformed her life and family, my heart melted. I was in no mood for this unexpected task, but after a deep breath and prayer for a change of heart, this act of service reminded me to appreciate the blessings of life in Christ and the opportunities he puts before us whether we see them or not. It takes Time to Serve Those Around Us If you’re anything like me, I am driven by a schedule. From the time my alarm goes off at 5:20 AM until my head hits the pillow, I have an agenda. Chores to do, papers to grade, activities to cart my kids to, dinner to make. Amidst this seemingly endless list of “to dos” are numerous interactions with my family members, students, coworkers, friends, and more. Is hospitality on my mind, whether it be in the form of a kind word, a thoughtful question, or just lending a listening ear? Honestly, no. Most often, I am just hoping the day has no bumps so that I can get the most done in the least amount of time. Jesus, on the other hand, never failed to entertain minister to those the Father brought into his path. He had an agenda: the souls of men. No one he met with was in the way or an inconvenience. He healed the hearing of a deaf man in Mark 7, healed a withered hand on the Sabbath— contrary to the rules of the grumbling pharisees (Luke 6)— and bought bread for a large group of people who followed him (John 6). Even when the disciples tried to free him from dealing with a group of children, . . . “Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven’” (Mark 19:14)...

Be Ready and Willing to Serve2024-02-19T23:51:05+00:00
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