gospel

Wrestling With God in Our Suffering

JULIANNE ATKINSON |GUEST As soon as I saw the area code of the phone call my husband was receiving, I knew something was off. I was pregnant with our first child and set to move for his job to Nashville, TN at the beginning of my third trimester. This was a city I had friends in, I knew there were good churches there, and it was a city we both liked. After a short conversation, my husband conveyed the news that there was a post they hadn’t accounted for in rural, northern New York state and he was now at the top of the list to take it. I was disappointed, but it wasn’t my first move and I hoped that God would have a good church and community there waiting when we arrived. Instead, I found a desolate place I never grew to love. I had left a large church in San Antonio where I was on staff and knew and loved each family and their kids by name. In New York, there were a handful of families hoping for a PCA pastor to come and pastor them. Church members brought meals when I had my son, but it felt more like they were checking off a box than done so out of friendship. I gathered the women of the church and started a Bible study in hopes of fostering fellowship as we studied God’s Word together. I ended up spending the study time preventing my son from climbing sky high, getting into people’s desks, and drinking bathroom chemicals. My husband worked long hours, weekends, and sometimes over an hour away. I was more lonely than I was during the Covid lockdown. It seemed like every hope I had for our move was dashed. The depths of disappointment I felt contrasted with the hope of change and led me to wrestle with God through it. Here my head-knowledge intersected with my very real and difficult circumstances. Were my toes digging into a sandy beach as the storm swirled around me or were they resting on the solid rock of the foundation of God’s promises? If everything around me fell down, I knew He would not. As believers, sometimes we suffer pain and loss so deep that we come to a crossroads in our relationship with God and who he is. Some might respond to that pain as though with a finger in his face saying, “How could GOD do this to ME?” Our hearts are hardened. We feel bitter. We struggle to forgive God. And we turn and run FROM him. Others might ask the same question, but with trust in God’s faithfulness to his promises—that he really is who he says he is. “How COULD God do this to me?” In that moment, we run TO Him and His Word. As we wrestle with his Word, we will find rest in the midst of our pain and rock under our feet...

Wrestling With God in Our SufferingChristina Fox2025-01-08T18:35:45+00:00

Don’t Hoard Peace

SUSAN BENNETT|GUEST "You can't keep this" are the last words someone who struggles with hoarding ever wants to hear. If you ever watched one of those reality shows about hoarding, you know that hoarders surround themselves with items, so much so, that they can’t maneuver around their homes. I once knew someone who tried to take control of their life with this activity to her own demise. It caused great ruin to both her physical home and her familial relationships. When God blesses us with material or spiritual gifts, it is always for the benefit of sharing them with others. God never intends for His children to hoard the blessings they receive, especially the gift of His peace. Biblical Peace Peace in Scripture, both Old and New Testaments, carries several ideas. Most importantly, completeness and wholeness are related to love and loyalty to God and others, which are at the core of the Gospel of Peace. The Hebrew word for Peace is shalom, which holds this same beautiful idea. This gift of peace comes to us per God's counsel from before the foundation of the world. (Eph. 1:11-12) As with all the good gifts God gives His children (James 1:17), they are as unchanging as He is. His peace is perfect and, therefore, constant and reliable even when our lives are anything but. We can trust God's peace when war rages out in the world or even at our front door! Perfect Peace "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee because he trusts in You" (Is. 26:3). Can you hear the hope in this verse? Notice the two actions of God in exchange for the two by man. First, God keeps him, and second, He provides for his peace. And not just any peace but "perfect peace." I like the ring of perfect peace, don't you? In this instance, to keep means to guard as with a garrison. God's keeping of us is serious business. God's perfect peace is His provision of protection, like a defensive weapon. Wow, a peace that guards like an army of soldiers!...

Don’t Hoard PeaceChristina Fox2024-12-26T19:38:33+00:00

His Blessings Flow

SARAH IVILL | CONTRIBUTOR I’m always glad when our church puts up Christmas decorations and we begin singing hymns about Jesus’s advent and birth. Many of those hymns haven’t been sung by the congregation since last Christmas, so though they are familiar, they are also fresh. One such hymn is Joy to the World! It’s one of my favorite hymns, so I want to share some reflections on the third stanza to assist us in preparing our hearts to worship the King this Christmas season. “No more let sins and sorrows grow” This phrase would be discouraging to anyone who is unaware of God’s amazing grace. There is not one person who has the ability to stop sinning. You likely know how difficult it is to be told to do something when you don’t have instructions, tools, or the capacity for doing it. It’s disheartening, to say the least. But thankfully, for those who trust in Christ alone for our salvation, we have been given everything we need to live a life of godliness (2 Pet. 1:3-4). Because of God’s grace and power, we can “walk by the Spirit” so that “we will not gratify the desires of the flesh” (Gal. 5:16). But what about sorrow? In this broken world you and I will have lots of sorrows. Broken relationships, dashed dreams, loved ones dying, infertility, financial ruin, depression, prodigal children, and things like these. How do we keep sorrow from ruining us? When the apostle Paul pleaded with the Lord to deliver him from a “thorn…in the flesh” He replied, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9). And so it was. Paul could be content with sorrows “for the sake of Christ…for when I am weak, then I am strong” (v. 10)...

His Blessings FlowChristina Fox2024-12-05T15:12:34+00:00

Though and Yet

PATRICIA CURTISS | GUEST I’m a Florida native and have lived here most of my life. Recently our state—along with several others—was slammed by Hurricanes Helene and Milton. It has been devastating and burdensome for family and friends. Over the past several weeks, I’ve been reading through the Bible’s minor prophets. It has struck me how some of the literal events described, or the imagery used, refer to such devastations: “…the sea grew even wilder than before…” Jonah 1:13 “…The mountains melt beneath him and the valleys split apart like wax before the fire, like water rushing down a slope…” Micah 1:4 “…His way is in the whirlwind and the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet. He rebukes the sea and dries it up; he makes all the rivers run dry…The mountains quake before him and the hills melt away. The earth trembles at his presence, the world and all who live in it…” Nahum 1:3b-5 And then, there’s the last stanza in Habakkuk. Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields produce no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength, he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places. Habakkuk 3:17-19 Habakkuk’s Walk Writing is a challenge. When writing, you’re trying to communicate your thoughts to someone without using your voice’s tonal inflections, facial expressions, or body language to assist in meaning. What is written must fully carry the message. It’s even more problematic when writing poetry where every word’s letter, every word’s sound, and every mark of punctuation is crucial in translating the poet’s meaning. The Book of Habakkuk reflects the language of psalms (Hebrew poetry) in the expression of his complaints, reflections on God’s character, and response of obedience. He was really steamed that the kingdom of Judah had turned away from faith in God under the rule of two wicked kings, Manasseh and Amon. Habakkuk understood God needed to punish Judah for its sinful rebellion. He just didn’t understand why a good and just God would choose to use a more wicked nation (the Chaldeans, 1:8) to do the punishing—they deserved punishment, too. After Habakkuk goes through a question/answer period with God, he responds by trusting and rejoicing. His example encourages us to do the same when faced with debilitating circumstances....

Though and YetChristina Fox2024-12-05T14:54:13+00:00

From Bitterness to Forgiveness

JULIANNE ATKINSON |GUEST Seventeen years ago, someone who I thought highly of hid behind a computer and lied to me. I did mental gymnastics to attribute their best intentions to the lie. It was like talking to a piece of wood. I didn’t know at the time the price I would pay for the lie and it took me much longer to accept that I was the one to have to pay it. My closest relationships, parts of my reputation, and even some hopes and dreams I had for my life were damaged. It felt impossible to come back from. As image bearers, we have inside us a strong sense of both justice and mercy. It’s no accident that God makes it hard to let go of what we see as injustice. Our glorious God manages to uphold both justice and mercy perfectly. We are encouraged with verses not only asking us to forgive, but also requiring it (Matt. 18:21-35; Eph. 4:32). I love the tender words of Paul in Romans 12:19 “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” We could think of the quote “vengeance is mine” with a tight, angry fist or even with bitterness that we can’t take revenge ourselves, but the command is actually an invitation. God calls us as His beloved to let the tears flow, let our laments be heard in heaven, and let our Savior walk alongside us in our grief. We do so, knowing that God will tread the winepress of wrath and personally wipe every tear from our eyes. There is peace and humility in our finitude. He knows every offender’s true motives, generational sins and brokenness, background of trauma, and pain that leads hurt people to hurt people. He alone knows what justice demands in every circumstance. Three Lessons in Forgiveness This doesn’t make forgiveness easy. Here are three things I wish I had known about forgiveness from the start. First, the road of healing is longer for some sins than others...

From Bitterness to ForgivenessChristina Fox2024-09-23T15:35:30+00:00

What Jesus Shows Us About Self-Control

SUE HARRIS | CONTRIBUTOR In 1978, Melissa Manchester famously, but tragically, sang, “Don’t cry out loud. Just keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings.” It’s a complicated song about learning to cope with pain. Melissa Manchester’s antidote to a broken heart is this: don’t show pain, be strong, and learn how to hide your feelings. Other than the pleasure of hearing Manchester’s amazing pipes belting out the chorus, I don’t recommend the song or the accompanying video with the creepy circus clown. I certainly don’t recommend the song’s posture toward love, pain, and suffering. Most importantly, I don’t think Jesus would, either. But in reading Titus 2, I noticed that Paul, when talking about teaching sound doctrine, repeats the idea of self-control four times in that chapter. Four times! People of all ages and stages are to be taught self-control. This is sound doctrine, according to Paul. I’ve considered the lost art of self-control in our express- yourself- and- find- your- voice world. I wonder if hiding or denying our feelings is a way of exhibiting self-control. Is Paul telling us to keep silent about our pain? Is that self-control? Spoiler alert for anyone who hasn’t seen any of the Inside Out movies, denying or hiding our feelings isn’t healthy. But more than healthy…is it biblical? I know there’s a difference between hiding or denying our feelings and exerting self-control, but how does this tension play out in everyday life? A Model of Self-Control When I think about perfect self-control, I think about Jesus when he was summoned by Herod. Remember, there was some triangulation going on between Jesus, Herod, and Pilate. Neither Herod nor Pilate wanted to take legal responsibility for Jesus. They didn’t seem to know what to do with this man, so they were sort of trading him back and forth, perhaps to see what the other would do. Eventually, Herod agreed to meet Jesus and was very glad because he wanted to see him perform miracles (Luke 23:8). But if you recall, Herod was also the ruler who ordered the killing of John the Baptist, Jesus’ cousin, not long before this meeting. John’s death wasn’t simply a murder; it was a brutal, grotesque decapitation that was celebrated at a party Herod threw. This is where it gets explosive and unfathomable to me. This is the moment that the Lord Jesus exhibits a level of self-control that I can’t possibly understand. Can you imagine coming face-to-face with such a wicked man as Herod?...

What Jesus Shows Us About Self-ControlChristina Fox2024-08-14T13:36:01+00:00

What’s In Your Worldview?

STEPHANIE HUBACH | CONTRIBUTOR About twenty years ago (I just realized that phrase can only be casually tossed out when one is over age sixty) Capital One created a series of commercials that ended with the question, “What’s in your wallet?” Each commercial envisioned an admittedly outrageous scenario (read: Vikings vacationing in the Grand Canyon) which ended up having some serious financial ramifications. In other words, as crazy as the storyline was, in the end—all that really mattered was, “What’s in your wallet?” The implication being: “If you don’t have a Capital One card—you are in deep, deep trouble.” We live in a world of increasingly outrageous story lines. Only they are not the stuff of funny commercials. They are the stuff of real life in our current cultural moment. More than ever, the question before us is not “What’s in your wallet?” but, instead, “What’s in your worldview?” As disciples of Jesus, if we do not carry a Christian worldview, we are in deep, deep trouble. Now, I can already guess what some of you are thinking… “Ugh. I’ve heard this worldview thing to death!” Or maybe, “I already have a Christian worldview. Next topic, please!” In either case, I’d like to encourage you to stop and take a deep breath and a second look at this subject. Let me explain by telling you a bit about my youngest son Tim, who has Down syndrome. Tim loves the Lord. Tim loves life. And he loves the Disney channel. When Tim was in high school the movie High School Musical was released. As he often does, he watched the DVD over and over again. Ultimately, he decided that he didn’t want to just be like Troy Bolton (the basketball star in the film) he wanted to be Troy Bolton. So, one day he confidently marched into the Athletic Director’s office at the high school and asked to sign up for the basketball team. Soon, I got a call from the Athletic Director’s office, and Tim was on the line. He could hardly contain his joy! “I have GREAT NEWS! I made the team!” Now, happy as I was to hear his elation, I also knew that Tim was 5’2” tall, weighted 170lbs. and had never played on a basketball team in his life. So, I knew there had to be more to the story. At this point, the Athletic Director got on the line and explained to me that he had invited Tim to be the manager. As Tim’s mom, I knew this would be a great fit for him. And I expressed my gratitude, even as I thought to myself, “And I am sure this is not what Tim is thinking!” I knew I’d have a lot of explaining to do when Tim got home. So, I met him at the bus stop....

What’s In Your Worldview?Christina Fox2024-08-06T17:19:43+00:00

Set Free Indeed

TARA GIBBS | CONTRIBUTOR As a young mother, I took my one and three-year-old toddlers with me weekly to visit an elderly homebound widow. Seeing this woman’s joy in the hugs and laughter of my two children was a delightful gift. But, as I left each week, I began noticing unsettling thoughts in my mind and heart: “It is so wonderful that you visit this woman with your toddlers each week! What a good thing you are doing! If people knew, they would really say nice things about you.” How frustrating it felt to not be able to do one thing without pride. I knew the solution was not to stop doing the right thing, but I wondered if there would ever be freedom from this weight of sin. I wondered, “Is the Christian life just one, long slog of feeling guilty all the time?” Twenty-five years later, I would commend my younger self for identifying and confessing the sin in my heart. But I would also encourage “younger me” that a continual slog of guilt is not how the Bible describes the Christian life. Repentance was in order, but when repentance turns into one more opportunity to over-focus on self, I have missed the mark. We can construct a false, self-made identity through focusing on good works, or we can build our self-made identity by over-focusing on guilt and shame. In both cases, I am the focus...

Set Free IndeedChristina Fox2024-07-20T13:52:00+00:00

Social Media and the Search for More

SHEA PATRICK | CONTRIBUTOR One of my boys made a new friend at camp this summer, and they stayed in touch by text after they got home. I noticed something concerning when I looked at his phone: he misrepresented himself to this girl. Sometimes, he lied about things he had accomplished and places he had been, but mostly, he made himself out to be more than he is. Connecting with peers is an important part of adolescent development. Yet, it is complicated by the fact that teens are still learning who they are—not to mention the additional challenge of communication mediated through a device. One of the greatest challenges in our day is when our devices become the medium by which we look for identity. This isn’t merely a challenge for teens alone. I find myself doing that through my social media accounts as well. My son and I both use our phones to look for more or to even BE more. For example, I will post something to my account (mostly about my family) and check back frequently to see how many likes and comments that my post has received. Each thumbs up gives me a hit of dopamine that I end up chasing, wanting even more. When no one responds, I feel ignored. It becomes a vicious cycle of always needing more. Make no mistake, we use social media to receive more: more significance, more validation, more attention. Using social media this way ignores the fact that what it provides is not real, such as those carefully curated posts that only show people at their best moments or posts airing dirty laundry (sometimes literally!)—all in the attempts of receiving more likes and follows....

Social Media and the Search for MoreChristina Fox2024-05-20T17:38:55+00:00

Terribly Beautiful

LAURA PATTERSON | GUEST “Mom, why did I have a brain injury?” The dinner-table inquiry of my eight-year-old hit me like a ton of bricks. The heaviness wasn’t due to the novelty of the question but to its repetition. The ‘why’ has become a recurrent question for a child who is becoming increasingly aware of his differences. And the question is one that necessitates answers that come in deepening layers over the years. My son knows that he has cerebral palsy. He knows it was caused by damage to his brain. And he knows a developmentally appropriate medical explanation for what happened in my pregnancy and his earliest days of life. Yet his question still remains: why? The conversation around the dinner table labored on as my husband and I both grappled out loud, before our children, with what we know of the God in whom we profess faith. Of his sovereignty. Of His good purposes. Of the glory He can receive in all things. Answering Hard Questions Our ten-year-old, listening and processing from the seat to my left, interrupted, “…but why would God’s plan include something bad?” It’s easier to talk about suffering and disability when it isn’t sitting right next to me. But it’s another thing to apply what I know to be true in the very present reality of pain, tears, weariness, and grief. In that holy moment around the dinner table, the heart of what we could share with our three boys is that we really don’t know why God does all that He does. We don’t know why God has seen fit for life to include unending therapy appointments, specialist doctor visits, special education, surgery, orthotics, and the list could go on...

Terribly BeautifulChristina Fox2024-05-01T15:55:05+00:00