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Silencing the Inner Critic

KRISTINE SUNG As I stare at the computer screen, writing this blog, I hear the thoughts scroll through my brain. “What are you doing? You’re not a writer. Do you really have anything worthwhile to say? Wouldn’t it be better just to play on your phone?” This, my friends, is a glimpse of my inner critic. It can be so bossy. Critical. Impatient. It’s like a toddler. Perhaps you can relate. Scientists estimate humans have 6,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Many thoughts go unnoticed. Yet others we hyperfocus on. When we stop to listen to our thoughts, we don’t tend to hear a ton of ‘atta girl’ thoughts, nor do they naturally conform to truth of the gospel. Sadly, more often than we realize, our behavior marches to the beat of their drum. A Look at Psalm 103 Thankfully, this is not a modern problem. In the Psalms, David often reveals how he deals with his own inner critic. Take a look at Psalm 103. As you begin to read the psalm, you see right away David giving instruction to his own inner critic, which he refers to as “his soul.” He tells himself to “Bless the Lord, O my soul” and “not to forget all his benefits.” We don’t know what David was struggling with when he wrote these words. But when he tells himself not to forget, it is likely he is doing just that, forgetting. I know my toddler-like inner critic is often forgetful. While I know that I am not and will never be perfect, nor is there any hope in me to save myself, my inner thoughts easily forget that. And it doesn’t want to think about God and His benefits; rather, it often focuses on unrealistic expectations of myself. And it is quick to point out how often I don’t meet those expectations...

Silencing the Inner Critic2025-03-26T14:15:22+00:00

Gethsemane Glasses

LAURA PATTERSON | GUEST I awoke that Friday morning in May to the same white walls and sterile smell for the twenty-second day in a row. The same dingy blinds covered the same window. The birthday cards I’d received the week prior were still taped up on the mirror on the far wall. The now familiar white blanket engulfed my legs and torso. The sense of familiarity I’d come to find in my surroundings was suddenly arrested that morning as feelings of shock, dread, and numbness flooded my body and left me wondering if I was truly awake. I’d just given birth during the wee hours of the morning and, after being returned to my antepartum room without my baby, I had somehow managed to sleep for an hour or two. Doctors, nurses, and a lactation consultant visited me in my haze, and I eventually got the news that I could go meet my child. My nurse assisted me into a wheelchair, and I took the longest ride of my life to the adjoining children’s hospital. I knew I was headed to meet my baby in the neonatal intensive care unit, but no amount of exposure or information could have prepared me for the shock of meeting my two-and-a-half-pound infant covered in tubes, lines, and bruises. The well-intentioned nurse assigned to my son that day noticed my tears, came to the bedside, and said gently, “it’s ok, mom.” “NO, IT’S NOT!” I yelled deep within my soul.  From Demanding to Entrusting My internal cry that morning was full of truth. My baby was not ‘ok’. The neonatologist sat my husband and I down in a private room only hours later  to help us understand that we should expect our son to die within a couple of days’ time. I felt the very visceral reality of life in a sin-sick, disease-laden, death-cursed world. Crying, ‘It’s not ok!’ wasn’t wrong. But it was incomplete...

Gethsemane Glasses2024-10-27T21:14:50+00:00

What Jesus Shows Us About Self-Control

SUE HARRIS | CONTRIBUTOR In 1978, Melissa Manchester famously, but tragically, sang, “Don’t cry out loud. Just keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings.”  It’s a complicated song about learning to cope with pain. Melissa Manchester’s antidote to a broken heart is this: don’t show pain, be strong, and learn how to hide your feelings. Other than the pleasure of hearing Manchester’s amazing pipes belting out the chorus, I don’t recommend the song or the accompanying video with the creepy circus clown. I certainly don’t recommend the song’s posture toward love, pain, and suffering. Most importantly, I don’t think Jesus would, either. But in reading Titus 2, I noticed that Paul, when talking about teaching sound doctrine, repeats the idea of self-control four times in that chapter. Four times! People of all ages and stages are to be taught self-control. This is sound doctrine, according to Paul. I’ve considered the lost art of self-control in our express- yourself- and- find- your- voice world. I wonder if hiding or denying our feelings is a way of exhibiting self-control. Is Paul telling us to keep silent about our pain? Is that self-control? Spoiler alert for anyone who hasn’t seen any of the Inside Out movies, denying or hiding our feelings isn’t healthy. But more than healthy…is it biblical? I know there’s a difference between hiding or denying our feelings and exerting self-control, but how does this tension play out in everyday life? A Model of Self-Control When I think about perfect self-control, I think about Jesus when he was summoned by Herod. Remember, there was some triangulation going on between Jesus, Herod, and Pilate. Neither Herod nor Pilate wanted to take legal responsibility for Jesus. They didn’t seem to know what to do with this man, so they were sort of trading him back and forth, perhaps to see what the other would do. Eventually, Herod agreed to meet Jesus and was very glad because he wanted to see him perform miracles (Luke 23:8). But if you recall, Herod was also the ruler who ordered the killing of John the Baptist, Jesus’ cousin, not long before this meeting. John’s death wasn’t simply a murder; it was a brutal, grotesque decapitation that was celebrated at a party Herod threw. This is where it gets explosive and unfathomable to me. This is the moment that the Lord Jesus exhibits a level of self-control that I can’t possibly understand. Can you imagine coming face-to-face with such a wicked man as Herod?...

What Jesus Shows Us About Self-Control2024-08-14T13:36:01+00:00

He Knows Our Every Trouble

CLAIRE STREBECK | GUEST Christ identifies with all our weaknesses.  Christ understands our every sorrow. Do you weep? Do you mourn? If there were one characteristic that marked Jesus' earthly ministry, it would be compassion. Over and over, he was moved with deep pity for those weeping, especially those who were disadvantaged: the widow from Nain; Mary at the death of Lazarus; the sinner-woman who wailed as she washed Christ's feet with her expensive perfume and her tears.  Yet, it was not only their circumstances that provoked Jesus' emotion. Certainly, any of their conditions could have been sufficient to prompt anyone to sympathy. Still, with Jesus, each emotional response included more than mere circumstantial pity. Every time Christ was moved in his emotions, it was in response to the battle he waged with death.  Jesus’ Emotional Response to Our Fallen World When Christ saw Mary and the other Jews weeping over Lazarus' death, he felt more than sorrow. John 11:33 tells us that He was "deeply moved." I was surprised to discover that the text signifies more than Jesus' sadness and sympathy–John also communicates Jesus' rage. The original Greek word used is embrimaomai, which literally translates to "being very angry or moved with indignation." Was Christ angry at Mary or those with her? Was he angry over their grief? Absolutely not. In fact, we see that he was stirred in response to their mourning, with his own shedding of tears only two verses later. It was death itself that prompted our Lord to anger. ...

He Knows Our Every Trouble2024-03-05T18:10:48+00:00

Delivered from the Tyranny of Emotions

I talk to myself a lot, or rather, preach to myself as the ever-helpful Martin Lloyd-Jones reminds us to do. Recently the preacher in my head has been clearly and loudly reminding me: You don’t have to bow to your feelings. I tend towards being a sponge – soaking in and filling up with the emotions of others and owning them – even though they are not mine to own. I’ve begun to see that as I fill up on anxieties or frustration, all I can do as a sponge is wring it back out all over whomever squeezes me at the wrong moment. Thankfully, God is not like this with us – taking on our emotions, being changed by them, and dripping all over us in kind. Yes, He weeps with those who weep and clearly and vividly displays emotion! Yet, He is not controlled by emotions. His response to the sin and brokenness of this world is always perfect, right, and true. My emotions have a place, and rightly so, as God made us to be feeling creatures, but my emotions shouldn’t have the final say about what is true in a situation. God, in his severe mercy, has given me a number of opportunities to practice this lately. As the waves keep crashing, I keep grabbing the opportunities, though sometimes not very well, to sink into the truth. 1 Peter 5:7 reminds us to cast all our anxieties on Jesus because he cares for us. I imagine wringing out my emotion onto Jesus, knowing He can handle it, and then asking Him to fill me with the truth, bowing in submission to that truth, not bowing to my ever-changing emotion.

Delivered from the Tyranny of Emotions2022-05-04T22:59:58+00:00

An Invitation to Wrestle with Emotions

Are you feeling tired, worn down, anxious, depressed, or spiritually thirsty right now in the middle of our messy world? No matter what season of life you are currently in, the world-wide Covid pandemic has surely taken it's toll on your life. Maybe you're a college girl who had to take online classes this spring or who missed walking across the stage at graduation. Maybe you are a single working woman whose work was vastly affected by the shut-down. Or maybe you are a wife and mother feeling burned out from caring for your family in this chaotic time. Whether you have felt alone and isolated in this season because of lack of social interaction or have felt burned out from too much interaction with the people around you, or a combination of both, the Psalms in Scripture offer an authentic place for us to voice our cares, questions, and feelings. An Invitation to Wrestle with Emotions When it comes to our emotions, our tendency is to vacillate between several extremes. We can stuff our feelings, thinking it is more "spiritual" to just praise the Lord with a smile pasted on our face, trying to be "positive" and "grateful" with a spiritual logic of "God is good" because that is often easier than to admit that our hearts are breaking. Or on the other hand, we can let our feelings rule and dictate our lives rather than being anchored in the truth and lens of God's character. Yet the Psalms invite us to wrestle. They help us articulate what it is that we are feeling. They encourage us to lay our honest emotions at the Lord's feet and voice to the Lord all our questions, rather than simply slap a "truth band-aid" on them. They also invite us to learn what is true about God, our world, and our role in it. In the Psalms, truth and emotions intersect to weave a beautiful tapestry for our lives. Jesus Himself models this for us. How often in the Gospels do we see Him weeping over brokenness around Him? Jesus, who was the ultimate Healer! In John 11, we see Jesus weeping over the death of his friend Lazarus, just moments before He knew He was going to raise him from the dead. Why would He cry over something that He was about to reverse? Jesus empathized with suffering. Not only that, he grieved over the state of our fallen world, for he knew things were not as they should be. "When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in His spirit and greatly troubled...Jesus wept." (vv.33,35) The God of the Universe came close to our suffering as the God-Man, Jesus, tasted our sorrows and pain for the 32 years that he walked on earth. He understands feelings such as isolation, sorrow, natural fears, abandonment, for he felt them too...

An Invitation to Wrestle with Emotions2022-05-05T00:37:26+00:00
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