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The Sacred Work of Intergenerational Discipleship

KAREN HODGE|CONTRIBUTOR “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (Deuteronomy 6:4-9). Last words are precious and shape us. Moses has some final words for the children of Israel at the end of the exodus. He will not go with them into the promised land but only see it from a distance. He encourages these forgetful people like us to hear and listen up! They have seen sand and sad circumstances, but he invites them to start their new life on solid ground. The Shema above is the centerpiece of daily morning and evening prayer for Jewish families. It bookends each day with holy realignment, which begins by looking upward. We are to hear, listen, heed, and remember that Yahweh, our covenantal and relational LORD is our God, and He is One. In a polytheistic world of gods who compete for our allegiances, He is singular, other, and holy. No one else is His equal. He is our King and should rule and reign in every area of life. Moses notes the natural overflow of worshiping our LORD is the integration of faith and life. Intergenerational discipleship begins with the relentless dethroning of competing loyalties. God wants all of us—nothing held back—our heart, soul, and might. Our obedience is an overflow of our love for Him, not the Law. It is easy to get this upside down. Jesus quotes this greatest commandment to a young striving lawyer in Matthew 22:36-37...

The Sacred Work of Intergenerational DiscipleshipChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:26:40+00:00

Loving the Unlovely

KIMBERLI SPOLAR|GUEST I was seven-years-old when my parents dismissed my dream to compete in the Little Miss New Jersey pageant. Thirty-seven years later, I brought the idea of competing for Mrs. North Carolina to my husband who was not sure it was a good idea. Five years of research, prayer, and two meetings with my pastor, and my husband finally agreed as he considered my pastor’s probing question, “What would it look like to join your wife in this adventure?” And after months of hard work, I was crowned Mrs. North Carolina USC 2022 at the age of 49. When I started my journey, all I really knew about pageantry was that I had an excuse to wear sequin gowns and that I needed to do my best in the competition. But what I learned was that God had a unique process of heart transformation planned for me. Pageant titleholders have the unique opportunity to publicly bring awareness to causes in which they are passionate about. I decided to partner with organizations working in Charlotte communities full of forgotten, undesirable, or otherwise marginalized people—many of them who were homeless. Scripture teaches that God is a helper to the needy. Psalm 72: 12, says, “For he delivers the needy when he calls, the poor and him who has no helper.” And Psalm 70:5 says, “But I am poor and needy; hasten to me, O God! You are my help and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay!” As I daily came face-to-face with the homeless, talking with them, learning their names and then seeking them out by name, praying for them and caring for daily needs like food and clothing, God changed my heart and showed me what the compassion He has looks like as I sought to care for needy people living in the margins of Charlotte—the largest city in North Carolina and an affluent one. God changed my heart to see the homeless with a vertical lens applied to the horizontal...

Loving the UnlovelyChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:40:11+00:00

Never Underestimate the Power of a Handwritten Note

CHRISTINA FOX|EDITOR “Look at all these notes and cards!” she proclaimed. My mother directed me to her living room. Every available table was covered with notes of sympathy for the loss of my father. Cards stood on side tables. The coffee table had cards piled in neat stacks, covering the entire surface. She picked up various cards, telling me about each person who sent it. “And they keep coming,” she remarked. I could relate, as I had a growing stack of my own at home. And each one meant the world to me. The fact that someone took the time to write a note expressing love for me and sorrow for my loss brought needed encouragement at a difficult time. They were like paper hugs, enveloping me in words of care from my brothers and sisters in Christ. We live in a day and time where life is lived digitally more than ever before. We communicate primarily through apps, texts, and emails. Businesses increasingly send advertisements, bills, and communications via email than snail mail. Even birthday cards are now sent virtually. This means, a handwritten note is a rare gift...

Never Underestimate the Power of a Handwritten NoteChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:44:25+00:00

How to Cope with Anticipatory Grief as a Caregiver

ELIZABETH TURNAGE|CONTRIBUTOR As Marissa Bondurant mentioned in our last article in this series, caregiving, while a burden, is also a calling. Today I want to explore one of the common challenges of this calling: anticipatory grief. Anticipatory Grief Three years ago, Lara’s father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. As his primary caregiver, Lara is struggling. She finds herself crying frequently, losing her temper daily, and feeling anxious constantly. Like many caregivers of people with progressive or terminal disease, Lara is experiencing anticipatory grief. According to bereavement counselor Marty Tousley, “Grief occurs in anticipation of and following a loss. Extended illness, disability, severe accidental injury, a terminal diagnosis, or the aging and decline of an elderly family member can produce anticipatory grief.”[i] Symptoms of anticipatory grief may include anger, anxiety, depression, denial, irritability, and difficulty concentrating. The caregiver may also experience a sense of hope as she imagines the coming relief from her caregiving burden. Following that sense of hope, she may feel guilt. While many psychologists call this grief “anticipatory,” others note that “anticipatory” may not be the most accurate term, because the caregiver is experiencing grief over current loss—the loss of the ability to enjoy life with her loved one as she did in the past, the losses her loved one now experiences due to limitations, and the loss of the caregiver’s “normal” life. The first thing caregivers need to know is that both anticipatory grief about the future and present grief about the loss of past joys is to be expected. In addition, the caregiver can take comfort from and learn from Jesus as she navigates anticipatory grief...

How to Cope with Anticipatory Grief as a CaregiverChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:46:46+00:00

Discipleship in the Church

JAMIE VOSS|GUEST Why do I disciple women? I love seeing God transform lives. It keeps me accountable in my walk with the Lord. I grow by learning from my sisters in the faith, no matter where they are on their journey. (In fact, my FAVORITE people to disciple are new believers—they bring such wonder and excitement to our group.) As the discipleship community kindles genuine and lasting relationships, these women often became my closest friends—in fact all the bridesmaids in my wedding were women I discipled. I have countless more reasons why I value discipleship, but the simple answer is that I disciple because Jesus discipled, and He commands us to do the same (Matt. 28:18-20). Jesus did not model the ten best ways to reach the world, for He spent the majority of his time with twelve ordinary men whom He prayerfully selected and lived life with. Our church has a discipleship ministry, and this is how we describe it: “Discipleship is laboring in the lives of a few with the intention of imparting one’s life, God’s word and the gospel, in such a way to see them become mature and equipped followers of Christ committed to do the same in the lives of others.” Jesus prayerfully selected a few men and poured his life into them, while lovingly equipping them to do the same...

Discipleship in the ChurchChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:48:06+00:00

We Are Family: Finding Community in the Local Church

REBECCA TAYLOR|GUEST I have been told time and time again that church is supposed to be like a family. Being a pastor’s daughter and now a pastor’s wife, I see the metaphor play itself out in church relationships. However, I often feel lost when I enter church. Who will I sit next to? Who gets me? Which community group or Bible study is the right one for me? I think many of us can relate to the desire to “find our group” or “find our person” when entering the doors of the church. For many years, this was my goal. But this past year, my eyes opened to a new way of viewing things. I now realize that if church is supposed to be like family, then we already belong. This shouldn’t sound groundbreaking, but it was for me. I have worked so hard, for so long, to try and feel “attached” to a group or church. This year, I have accepted that I am free to connect, instead of looking for a clinging attachment...

We Are Family: Finding Community in the Local ChurchChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:48:24+00:00

Magnificent Mosaics: The Beauty of Intergenerational Relationships

KAREN HODGE|CONTRIBUTOR and ELLE ANDERSON|GUEST Intergenerational Impact Treats, teaching, talking, and truths filled my living room this summer. I invited young teen women and their mothers to study Breathe: The Life-giving Oxygen of the Lord's Prayer together. Our Father knit our hearts together as we studied His word and prayed weekly for one another. We experienced the joy of unpacking the content of the gospel in the context of an intergenerational group. As each woman shared what Christ was teaching them, we beheld a different facet of His truth. Each woman's perspective enriched the next. Titus 2 Discipleship is not about a prescriptive program but rather older and younger women integrating the gospel into every aspect of their lives as they walk through life together. I was blessed to be able to see the beauty of Christ strengthening His Church through making new intergenerational friendships. These young women profoundly shaped my life, and I am the richer for our time together. Meet my gospel friend Elle Anderson who taught me this summer. She is fourteen years old, and I have known her for her entire life. We attended Naperville Presbyterian Church together, and now we live in beautiful Colorado Springs, where we are members of Village Seven Presbyterian Church. I encourage you to lean in and learn from her perspective as a young woman...

Magnificent Mosaics: The Beauty of Intergenerational RelationshipsChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:48:40+00:00

Your Unwanted Journey: Facing Your Husband’s Pornography Struggle

“God, I come to you very weak and broken. Grieved over the sin of my husband that I just discovered. Shocked—feeling betrayed—angry—distrustful—sad at sin’s corrupting power—very aware of my own desperate need for grace as I must confront him.” I wrote these words in a journal entry when I discovered evidence on my computer’s history that my husband had been visiting pornographic sites. Although I knew of his struggle prior to our marriage, I naively assumed that he was done battling pornography and that our marital bliss would provide the antidote he needed against temptation. My dreams of a happy, secure marriage in which I felt compellingly beautiful to my husband were instantly shattered that afternoon—barely more than a year into our marriage. It was made worse by the fact that just the day before I had asked him if he had been struggling lately with pornography, and he said, 'No.'” I remember getting the call from this woman. She was devastated, confused, and angry. Pornography usage is an unfaithful behavior that breaks the sacred promise: I am devoted and faithful to you alone. We might even call it treason of the marriage covenant, though some may think this too dramatic or stern. But aren’t husbands called to faithful oneness to their wife, to lay down their lives for her? She, of course, is called to the same, but why is it that church leaders can minimize the traumatic impact of porn, as well as the grave sin of sexual infidelity—which porn viewing is?...

Your Unwanted Journey: Facing Your Husband’s Pornography StruggleChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:50:49+00:00

Stepping Out, Not Missing Out

MARLYS ROOS|GUEST Do you remember the story of the little red hen? She asked each of her friends on the farm, “Who will help me plant these wheat seeds?” But each replied, “Not I.” (They used correct grammar!) So, she did it herself. When the wheat had grown, she asked each to help her harvest it, but each replied, “Not I.” The same thing happened when she asked for help to carry the wheat to the miller to be ground and even when she asked them to help her bake the bread. Then, as soon as the bread was ready and the rich aroma wafted across the farmyard, she asked, “Who will help me eat this bread?” All her so-called friends eagerly replied, “I will!” She, nevertheless, informed them, “No, you won’t. I will eat it myself.” Although it was first published in 1918, I’m sure this folktale has been around longer. Parents and teachers (as well as Mister Rogers and Captain Kangaroo, if you’re old enough to remember them) used it as a parable to teach children the value of hard work and the consequences of laziness. I think it has an even broader application—for the times we just don’t want to bother or be bothered―and we miss out...

Stepping Out, Not Missing OutChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:52:28+00:00

The Problem with Meddling

SUE TELL|GUEST Do you practice the habit of having a word of the year? In 2021 the word God gave me (or two words) was pull back. Why? What does that look like? I started praying and was stopped in my tracks when I read Peter’s admonition, “But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler.” (I Peter 4:15, emphasis mine) Is meddling really in the same category as murder, theft, and evil? And are there areas where meddling is God’s reason for my pulling back? I began to pray. I began to seek the wisdom of my friends. I began to hear stories. And I began to hear God whispers. Three lessons rose to the surface: We who are entrusted with leadership are highly susceptible to meddling. Meddling can have serious consequences. When I don’t pull back and cease meddling, my time, capacity, and energy to give myself to God’s purposes designed for me are in jeopardy...

The Problem with MeddlingChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:53:41+00:00