Gray Hair is a Crown of Glory

KIM BARNES | CONTRIBUTOR Recently, I got an email from a friend. She had heard through the grapevine that my husband had been briefly hospitalized. (He’s fine.) She wanted to let me know she was praying for us. I’ve known Doras for around 17 years and during those years, she has often sent emails letting me know that she’s praying for me, and I know that she reaches out to many this way. I don’t get to see Doras as often as I used to, but I did get to see her recently for a special occasion—her 100th birthday party! You read that correctly. I have a 100-year-old friend who prays for me and who communicates by email. I met Doras when my husband was called to be the pastor of her church. She was 83 years old and had been a widow for several years. Doras was quick to make sure she had my email address. I learned that while the church was without a pastor, 83-year-old Doras decided it would be a good idea to start an informal email newsletter to encourage the congregation and help everyone stay connected. On a regular basis, she would send emails that announced church events, shared prayer requests, and offered encouragement to gather for worship. She forwarded prayer letters sent out by our missionaries and if a member of our church wanted to get the word out about anything, they needed only to send an email to Doras. For the next twelve years, while my husband served as pastor of Doras’s church, I could count on regular emails that encouraged, informed, and blessed me...

Gray Hair is a Crown of Glory2024-02-10T19:34:15+00:00

The Irreplaceable Encouragement of Intergenerational Relationships

AMANDA DUVALL | GUEST I took a seat at my assigned table for my first Bible study at our new church and was surprised to see a number of gray and white heads dotted among the tables. I wondered, what would it be like to study alongside women who were 20, 30, or more years older than I? Up until this point, my close friendships consisted of almost exclusively people in or near my stage of life. As I’ve aged, I noticed that surrounding myself with people of my own generation is like living with tunnel vision. I could sense I didn’t know what I didn’t know. Of course, I had read Titus 2:3, which instructs older women to teach and train younger women in what is good, and that’s what I wanted! But I had little idea what this might actually look like in my real life. Today, I am privileged to have friendships with women who live out the example of Titus 2 that I’ve longed to see. And it is not their own brilliance or expertise that shines, but the way they lift my eyes from the false hope of self-focus to behold what is truly good—Jesus Christ. Humility at every age Each week, friends with decades of experience following Jesus put on a posture of humility as they engage with our group and with God’s Word, and in doing so have taught me more than any lesson plan could...

The Irreplaceable Encouragement of Intergenerational Relationships2024-01-03T14:21:54+00:00

Three Ways to Encourage Your Pastor

KATIE POLSKI | CONTRIBUTOR When I was a kid, I told friends that I was a “PK.” An inquisitive friend asked one day, “What does ‘PK’ actually mean?” Another friend answered for me: “It means she’s a potential kid.” No, I was not a budding human. I was a pastor’s kid. And I loved it. I treasure my experience as a pastor’s daughter, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. But while much of my experience with my father leading the church was positive, I do remember days when dad was very worn. I recognize that same worn look on my husband, who also serves as a senior pastor, but what I understand now that I didn’t as a child is that the worn look is not mere physical exhaustion. The familiar weariness comes from a weight filled with other’s burdens and expectations. It’s a weight that almost every pastor carries, and the longer he is in pastoral ministry, the heavier it can become. But I also see the joy that exudes from my husband as he does the work the Lord has called him to. He has the same passion as my father for preaching and shepherding his flock. I asked my husband recently what gives him joy in this calling as pastor. “The people!” he said with a smile. And I think my father, who passed away years ago, would have said the same. With lingering stories passed on through the generations from a grandfather and father in the pastorate, and now experiencing ministry alongside my husband who is the founding pastor of our church, there are some common threads I notice as to what fills the hearts of these dear servants and what lightens the burden they carry. If you are looking for ways to encourage your pastor during pastor appreciation month, here are three practical ideas to consider. Shepherd the People in the Church There is little else that encourages pastors more than knowing that the congregation cares for one another. And Scripture is clear in exhorting us to do just that! We’re called to love one another (a command that occurs more than 16 times in the Bible), to be devoted to one another, to live in harmony, and to honor others above ourselves (Romans 12). When we take these exhortations seriously, a pastor is encouraged because he sees the congregants functioning in the way that God intended. He and the other leaders are called to shepherd the flock, so they must be responsible for knowing their sheep and caring for them in seasons of need. But it lightens the load of the leaders when others in the congregation come alongside and join in on that care. When the church is acting out its calling as the family of Christ, providing for each other, praying for one another other, and being physically present in one another’s lives, you will encourage your pastor...

Three Ways to Encourage Your Pastor2023-10-03T15:04:50+00:00

Engaging with Christian Community

JAMYE DOERFLER | GUEST On July 1, 2017, our family of five pulled up to our new home in a new city with a 27-foot U-Haul and two cars packed to the max. Within an hour, five adults were helping us unload the truck. Mind you, we’d met most of these people only once before. One man, we’d never even seen in person—we’d only had a single Skype conversation. Yet here they were, near-strangers sweating and struggling to carry our heavy furniture and boxes of books. The night before, when we’d loaded the truck four hours east, about 15 people had helped—some inside the truck packing it tightly, others carrying the boxes and furniture, and still others cleaning the house. The week prior, women had helped me pack up the kitchen and dining room. Once the kitchen was packed and cooking became difficult, various friends provided dinner for us every night as we visited and said goodbye to those with whom we’d spent the last eleven years. As I walked through that week, I was struck by God’s wisdom in putting Christians in community with one another. All of these people who served us in such a tangible way? They were our church family, our brothers and sisters in Christ. We’d spent a decade with some of them; others, we had only just met—but we were already bound by the fellowship of the Church. Created for Community I have met Christians for whom church attendance and participation is considered optional. “I can be a Christian but not go to church all the time,” they reason. Or, “I just like to go on Sundays and get in and out,” as though church is like a stop at the dry cleaners. This isn’t what God intended for Christians. Consider these Scriptures: Hebrews 10:24-25: "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." 1 Thessalonians 5:11: "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." Galatians 6:2: "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." On June 30 and July 1 of 2107, our brothers and sisters were quite literally bearing our burdens...

Engaging with Christian Community2023-08-28T15:45:32+00:00

Passing on an Eternal Legacy

RACHEL CRADDOCK|CONTRIBUTOR I love traditions. I can be persnickety when it comes to the execution of my precious practices and rituals. One Thanksgiving, my brother, who is a very talented chef, fancied up the cranberries. His adding to the traditional recipe sent me into a frenzy—and I cried. However, my love of traditions has mostly had a positive impact in my family life. There are several ways I created traditions for my four children: back-to-school photos on the front porch; family-themed Halloween costumes; March Madness bracket challenges; listening to a state-line songs on road trips, and pizza on paper plates in pajamas when my husband has a late meeting—just to name a few. The natural cadence of life in our home is bolstered by such traditions. As much as I cherish my traditions—which I assume as women we all love to create lasting memories with our children—traditions like that back-to-school photo on the front porch this fall will (perhaps) leave a lasting legacy; however, the traditions which we tend to fuss over while our children are in our homes will not extend into eternity. Reader, I am going to be honest with you here: I am human, both wretched and redeemed. Like the Israelites in the wilderness, my heart is prone to wander, and I am distracted by light and momentary afflictions. But God is faithful to keep me on the course. When it comes to being a parent, my love of earthly traditions can hinder me from being intentional to pass on the most integral and eternal tradition I have the privilege of passing on to my children— passing on the truth of who God is to His covenant people...

Passing on an Eternal Legacy2023-08-15T13:17:49+00:00

Companions in the Journey

LAURA DAVIS|GUEST She set out without telling anyone where she was going.  Her eleven grown children were used to her disappearing, and they scarcely ever worried about her.  She was a tough woman who had suffered much in her 67 years—she was the hardworking wife of a farmer who had physically abused her for their entire marriage.  She’d proven she could take care of herself. On May 2, 1955, Grandma Gatewood set out from Oglethorpe, GA to become the first solo female to hike 2,160 miles of the Appalachian Trail.  She carried a lightweight handmade drawstring bag with a few provisions and wore canvas sneakers on her feet.  She brought no map and no plan except to put one foot in front of the other. A Treacherous Journey On September 5, near the end of her journey with almost 2000 miles behind her, she traversed some of the most difficult terrain she had encountered thus far.  She had one good lens in her glasses after she accidentally stepped on them, and she limped from a knee injury after a fall. The climb before her was treacherous, the kind of treacherous that was a matter of life or death with just one small misstep.  The weather had also become cold and miserable with fat, icy rain drops pelting her skin.  Her canvas sneakers, which she has replaced multiple times before, were worn through so that water gushed through the holes and soaked her socks.  She was half-blind, limping, wearing worn out shoes, and the path was slick and dangerous.    She left the trail to find a town in which to buy shoes, but instead, she encountered a man mowing the grass.  He explained there were no towns for miles but offered for his wife to meet her at the next trail intersection with a new pair of shoes.  Later that afternoon, she met his wife and when she tried on those new shoes, they were too small. The woman invited her to stay the night and the next day, after giving her shoes that fit, her daughter and a friend joined Grandma Gatewood on the next 10- mile stretch of the trail.  For most of the journey, she hiked solo, but for parts of it, this tough woman needed other hikers to encourage and provide for her and to pull her to safety at critical moments.  Strangers gave her warm houses, warm meals, and warm beds. She enjoyed their company, and it lifted her spirits. Grandma Gatewood’s story is a picture of life in a hostile world where everything seems set against us finishing the race, but the companionship of others spurs us on.  Did the treacherous climb or the miserable weather change?  Did she get new glasses so she could see clearly?  Did her knee miraculously heal?  No, none of these circumstances changed.  Rather, she was given a new pair of shoes and companionship.  The shoes would eventually wear out again, but the impact of their companionship would last a lifetime...

Companions in the Journey2023-08-15T13:19:41+00:00

To Rejoice with Those Who Rejoice

KERRY ANDERSON|GUEST Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. (Rom. 12:15)  When it comes to opening my mailbox, May is almost as exciting as December. Graduation announcements come in as a close second to Christmas cards among the favorite mail I receive. I love seeing the creativity of the cards, the carefully chosen, personality-reflecting senior pictures, and the promise of the future. I adore reading about the various accomplishments and next steps and I get extra excited when there’s a party invite in there too! I can just sense the beaming smile of a mamma as she addressed them all. And if you’ve ever mailed me one, know that your announcement sat in a special basket and was prayed over until dethroned in December by that first holiday card. When We are Better at Mourning than Rejoicing We’re heading into that end-of-the-school year season when our mailboxes and social media feeds are full of announcements of not just graduations, but also awards days, state championships, senior trips, college acceptances, job acceptances, and let’s not forget engagement and wedding season too! With so much to celebrate, you’d think we’d be masters at it. After all, our God is a God of many feasts and celebrations and in Psalm 35:27, it says He “…delights in the welfare of his servant!” And yet sometimes, those weddings, or graduation announcements, or pictures of a child with an honor roll certificate stir up less than God-honoring thoughts and emotions in us. Though it's a command to rejoice with those that rejoice, our heart can be the enemy to living that out.       My then college-aged daughter once noticed this among her peers. As we pondered what we’d both seen, we concluded that often the people of God are better at mourning than rejoicing. Leaning into support, lifting up in prayer, and bringing a meal are actually easier than being a champion for, celebrating, and truly finding joy in someone else’s experience of blessing. We rush into comfort and rescue, but we hold back from honoring and encouraging. We don't send a congratulations text because we didn’t get that thing we applied for that month. We don’t ask a friend how her son’s wedding went because we weren’t invited. Or we don’t serve on that committee because we had hoped to be the chair. Maybe our child didn’t get into the college of her dreams or make the honor roll. Maybe our graduate can’t articulate what the next step is yet. Maybe you long to be married so attending another engagement party has a sting to it. Maybe your adult child is moving overseas while your friend’s is moving right around the corner. Those are the realities of life and in our over-connected online world, it’s not going away. Which is why we have the imperatives of Scripture to meditate on when our thoughts, hearts, and eyes drift from our eternal focus...

To Rejoice with Those Who Rejoice2023-08-15T13:26:13+00:00

The Sacred Work of Intergenerational Discipleship

KAREN HODGE|CONTRIBUTOR “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (Deuteronomy 6:4-9). Last words are precious and shape us. Moses has some final words for the children of Israel at the end of the exodus. He will not go with them into the promised land but only see it from a distance. He encourages these forgetful people like us to hear and listen up! They have seen sand and sad circumstances, but he invites them to start their new life on solid ground. The Shema above is the centerpiece of daily morning and evening prayer for Jewish families. It bookends each day with holy realignment, which begins by looking upward. We are to hear, listen, heed, and remember that Yahweh, our covenantal and relational LORD is our God, and He is One. In a polytheistic world of gods who compete for our allegiances, He is singular, other, and holy. No one else is His equal. He is our King and should rule and reign in every area of life.  Moses notes the natural overflow of worshiping our LORD is the integration of faith and life. Intergenerational discipleship begins with the relentless dethroning of competing loyalties. God wants all of us—nothing held back—our heart, soul, and might. Our obedience is an overflow of our love for Him, not the Law. It is easy to get this upside down. Jesus quotes this greatest commandment to a young striving lawyer in Matthew 22:36-37...

The Sacred Work of Intergenerational Discipleship2023-08-15T13:26:40+00:00

Loving the Unlovely

KIMBERLI SPOLAR|GUEST I was seven-years-old when my parents dismissed my dream to compete in the Little Miss New Jersey pageant. Thirty-seven years later, I brought the idea of competing for Mrs. North Carolina to my husband who was not sure it was a good idea. Five years of research, prayer, and two meetings with my pastor, and my husband finally agreed as he considered my pastor’s probing question, “What would it look like to join your wife in this adventure?” And after months of hard work, I was crowned Mrs. North Carolina USC 2022 at the age of 49. When I started my journey, all I really knew about pageantry was that I had an excuse to wear sequin gowns and that I needed to do my best in the competition. But what I learned was that God had a unique process of heart transformation planned for me. Pageant titleholders have the unique opportunity to  publicly bring awareness to causes in which they are passionate about. I decided to partner with organizations working in Charlotte communities full of forgotten, undesirable, or otherwise marginalized people—many of them who were homeless. Scripture teaches that God is a helper to the needy. Psalm 72: 12,  says, “For he delivers the needy when he calls, the poor and him who has no helper.” And Psalm 70:5 says, “But I am poor and needy; hasten to me, O God! You are my help and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay!” As I daily came face-to-face  with the homeless, talking with them, learning their names and then seeking them out by name, praying for them and caring for daily needs like food and clothing, God changed my heart and showed me what the compassion He has looks like as I sought to care for  needy people living in the margins of Charlotte—the largest city in North Carolina and an affluent one. God changed my heart to see the homeless with a vertical lens applied to the horizontal...

Loving the Unlovely2023-08-15T13:40:11+00:00

Never Underestimate the Power of a Handwritten Note

CHRISTINA FOX|EDITOR “Look at all these notes and cards!” she proclaimed. My mother directed me to her living room. Every available table was covered with notes of sympathy for the loss of my father. Cards stood on side tables. The coffee table had cards piled in neat stacks, covering the entire surface. She picked up various cards, telling me about each person who sent it. “And they keep coming,” she remarked. I could relate, as I had a growing stack of my own at home. And each one meant the world to me. The fact that someone took the time to write a note expressing love for me and sorrow for my loss brought needed encouragement at a difficult time. They were like paper hugs, enveloping me in words of care from my brothers and sisters in Christ. We live in a day and time where life is lived digitally more than ever before. We communicate primarily through apps, texts, and emails. Businesses increasingly send advertisements, bills, and communications via email than snail mail. Even birthday cards are now sent virtually. This means, a handwritten note is a rare gift...

Never Underestimate the Power of a Handwritten Note2023-08-15T13:44:25+00:00
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