Facing Temptation with Scripture and Community

KATELYN ROSS|GUEST What would happen to my kids if I wasn’t here? I resent my husband for letting me be the default parent (even though he’s a good husband and dad). I secretly feel like I’m more spiritually mature than my husband. Staying home with my kids is killing me inside. Isn’t there more to my life than this? I can’t forgive myself for what I did before I was a Christian. Am I even saved now? I hear these sentiments multiple times each week in my biblical counseling sessions. Women are often embarrassed for thinking and feeling these ways because they assume they’re the only ones experiencing their own particular kind of suffering. I’m here to tell you they absolutely are not alone, and neither are you. Motherhood and marriage are difficult in a fallen world in which we daily encounter our own sins, the sins of others, and the realities of life lived in a broken world where even the creation groans for release. Not to mention, Satan’s temptations! The Lord in His kindness has provided means for us to thwart Satan’s attacks, including knowing Scripture, knowing our identity as a child of God, and being known by others in our church community.  Knowing God’s Word We often forget that our Savior faced temptation Himself. The author to the Hebrews tells us: “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (4:15). Although He did not sin, and He never struggled with the thoughts that many of my clients and I have, Jesus Christ lived in this fallen world just like we do. He understands the temptations we face. Even more, He faced those temptations for us and defeated them. In Matthew 4, we read of Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness. Immediately, we see that Satan caught Him at the end of His time in the wilderness and used Jesus’ humanity against Him, not unlike the way Satan uses our physical limitations against us. Jesus was hungry after forty days of fasting in the wilderness and Satan tempted Him to turn stones into bread to eat. What did Jesus do? He quoted Scripture, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God” (v.4).  Then, Satan questioned Jesus’ identity as the Son of God. What did Jesus do? He again turned to God’s Word. Lastly, Satan offered Jesus the whole world if He would just bow down and worship him. What did Jesus do? He quoted Scripture, “You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve” (v.10)...

Facing Temptation with Scripture and Community2025-04-21T19:44:11+00:00

Perfectionism, Shame, and Freedom in Christ

DUSKI VAN FLEET|GUEST Sitting in my counselor’s office the day after I lost my temper with one of my children, I shared the details of our hard day and my disappointment with how I responded. I tell her how puzzled I am when I mention my failures as a mom, because people often tell me they could never see me angry or yelling at anyone. They rave about what a wonderful mom I am and point out the ways they see me getting things right. It seems to me they think I have it all together, while all I think is, “If you only knew me. If you could only see how hurtful I can be.”  Her response takes me by surprise. “Well, why can’t both be true?  Does it really have to be one or the other? Is it possible for you to be both a really good mom and a mom who makes mistakes?” Hold please, while I let this one sink in.  Considering her questions, I began to think of other similar scenarios that trigger the same thought pattern within my brain. For instance, when I realize I forgot about a friend’s text from days ago expressing a need for help, I suddenly declare myself a thoughtless, selfish friend. When I interrupt my husband again and he becomes frustrated, I pronounce I am a terrible wife. As I thought about my roles in life throughout the rest of the day, I realized how often my failures define my identity.  Stuck in a Thought Cycle Black and white thinking keeps me stuck in a cycle of perfectionism and shame. I invest a lot of my time, thought, and emotional energy into learning how to love my people well. I also work hard to put what I am learning into practice. I love my husband and my kids so much, and I care deeply about their hearts and the stories God is writing for them. I want to be a part of those stories and impact them for good. I am a good wife and a good mom. That is one truth.  There is also another truth. I am a sinner. I carry in my body the sin passed on to me and every human when Adam and Eve chose to sin. I live in a fallen world that has broken and wounded me. Evil is hunting me and through deception, wants to obliterate the good God desires for me, my husband, and our children. There are times I choose to believe the devil’s lies, and I emotionally wound the people I love. This grieves my heart...

Perfectionism, Shame, and Freedom in Christ2023-03-24T18:21:06+00:00
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