Suffering

God’s Faithful Sovereignty When Things Don’t go as Planned

HANNAH HAGARTY | GUEST My husband and I have two failed adoptions, chronic illness, and an unexpected mission field exodus to our names. Things not going as planned? I may be an unwilling expert on the subject. But it turns out, being an expert on disappointment can mean possessing a deep appreciation for the goodness of God’s sovereignty. We readily said yes when asked to adopt the two little sisters in our home. As foster parents for nearly half of our married lives, Mali had come to us at eighteen months old. When her sister Ziva was born, we picked her up from the hospital. Birthdays and holidays flew by with our biological children and the little girls until they had been with us nearly two years. And then, with one phone call, we were told the case plan had changed from adoption to reunification. The girls were to be handed over to a biological relative investigated for crimes against a child. It didn’t matter which way anyone turned that fact about - sense was found nowhere in it. Years later, my husband and I and seven of our children were living in West Asia, sent out by the church to do mission work, never intending to live in the States again. For thirteen months, we worked our assigned jobs, learned the culture, and did the difficult work of progressing in the local language. Our kids flourished. And then, with another phone call, devastating news from the States immediately put me on the thirty-one hour flight back....

God’s Faithful Sovereignty When Things Don’t go as PlannedChristina Fox2026-02-27T20:54:52+00:00

When You Want to Trade in Your Specific Clay-Like Conditions

ELLEN DYKAS | CONTRIBUTOR But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. (2 Corinthians 4:7) I recently told a friend that I’m willing to participate in the sufferings of Christ; but can it be on my terms and in the form, timing, and intensity of my choosing?! I see the irony and hypocrisy of such a statement yet the truth is, it’s how I feel and think sometimes, even if unconsciously. Maybe like me, you delight in being a clay jar filled with the treasure of Jesus, yet struggle when the clay feels extra fragile, sad, or worn out. In those conditions, I can be tempted to want to click a ‘return’ button as simply as it is to send back an unwanted Amazon package. In the past few years, certain aspects of my clay-ness have felt extra hard. The impact of menopause on my body and ongoing disrupted sleep. Health related anxiety and the physiological, emotional, and spiritual impact of that. I transitioned into a (mostly) full time equipping and content development role which has been truly such a gift to have a dedicated season to pour out what I’ve learned in the years I’ve served with Harvest USA. Yet, it’s also been unexpectedly lonely, as I’ve been at my desk more than face to face with women as I was for my first sixteen years. What’s a girl to do?...

When You Want to Trade in Your Specific Clay-Like ConditionsChristina Fox2026-02-15T14:32:53+00:00

A Testimony in Sorrow

JENNA BOGARD | GUEST As my dear pastor neared the end of his life in 2022, I wept by his hospital bed. All I could utter was, “Jim, you are going to be with Christ soon!” His face lit up; that was all he wanted. His intimacy with Christ was apparent to everyone who knew him. Prior to his death, he repeatedly urged me to dive into the Song of Solomon as it ministered to him greatly in his last few months of suffering with ALS. At the time, I dismissed his claim that the book had anything to do with Christ and the church and even teased him for holding such beliefs. I wish he was still here so I could humbly admit my error and thank him for pointing me to some of the most beautiful truths of Christ that I’ve only begun to uncover. A Reflection of the Heart Dr. David Murray’s exposition of Song of Solomon chapter five was particularly impactful as it so perfectly described my spiritual condition at the time: utterly weak, fearful, depressed, and desperate.[i] As the chapter opens, the groom is at the door, calling the bride to open the door (v. 2). However, the bride is apathetic to his call. “I had put off my garment; how could I put it on? I had bathed my feet; how could I soil them?” (v.3) The bride didn’t want to put in the effort, a situation we usually find ourselves in when we have temporarily satisfied ourselves with the lust of our idols...

A Testimony in SorrowChristina Fox2026-02-14T18:25:24+00:00

Discipling Children in Suffering

AMY SANTARELLI |GUEST When my children were young, my husband and I worked hard to prepare them for life. We taught them skills they needed such as tying their shoes, doing laundry, driving, and choosing a career. We also taught them Bible stories, character lessons, and how to obey. But how to suffer? Mostly, we tried to help them avoid it. Now I am a biblical counselor who sits with people who are enduring a wide range of suffering. Seeing their struggles, I find myself looking back at this aspect of our child rearing and wishing I could have a parenting do-over. In our efforts to raise our children well and prepare them for life, we missed something important—purposefully preparing them for a world where the Bible says we will have trouble (John 16:33; James 1:2; I Pet. 4:12–13). How do we equip our children to biblically respond to life’s troubles, so they do not flounder, or worse, run away from God to false comforts? When trouble hits, practice lament and submission to God with your children....

Discipling Children in SufferingChristina Fox2025-07-11T15:04:24+00:00

The Stewardship of Suffering

AMY SHORE | GUEST Winter crept into my heart early this past year. Weariness gave way to selfish wallowing and introspection as I reflected on hard realities during the holiday season. December 31st, I found myself unable to breathe. A beautiful sand dollar, a Christmas gift from a friend, lay shattered on the kitchen floor. I fell to my knees in despair alongside this visual representation of my current brokenness. January 1st, a morning filled with missed calls and urgent messages: my dad had suffered a heart attack and was undergoing surgery. Then came January 21st when I faced the devastating reality of his death. I couldn’t catch my breath. The Learning Journey “Learning to live in the reality of His presence is the essence of our prayers and our pilgrimage.”[1] For the past year and a half, well before my father passed, I’ve been chewing on that quote from Susan Hunt around the journey to know God better amidst fear and frailty. I long to live more fully in that reality. You may have heard the saying, “God never gives us more than we can handle.” My pride wants this to be true because it means I can pull myself up by my own bootstraps. I’ve tried. My bootstraps snapped....

The Stewardship of SufferingChristina Fox2025-06-21T19:25:35+00:00

Entering into the Joy of Others

LISA UPDIKE | GUEST Ecclesiastes 3 tells us that there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven, a blessed ebb and flow of challenge and loss, peace and rest. Joy and sadness. Births and deaths. Serving and receiving. And though we intellectually understand that we will have trouble in life, it still can catch us off guard. When the time of trouble persists, we cry out like the psalmist did, “How long, Lord?” We wonder, “Does the Lord even see me?” If we are in a particularly long, hard season we may wonder why the Lord is richly blessing others and not us. Well, at least that’s what I do. My guess is that I am not alone. For the past several years my life has been really hard, sometimes heartbreakingly so. Two of my children are going through some painful circumstances causing distance between us. My heart aches over our difficult relationship. In another sphere of life, my mother is aging and often in pain. She is lonely for my dad whom she lost five years ago to Alzheimer’s. It’s so painful to see her suffer, though she does so with grace. On top of these things, this past fall we were blindsided with grief when my husband’s youngest brother took his life. We had no warning. So. Much. Grief. And I hate to say it, but there is a lot more to this list. I’m telling you; my husband and I have been hurting. A lot. Still, we were hanging in there. We were growing and learning to cling to Jesus. But then there was just one more tragedy and it tipped the balance. It seemed more than we could bear. Was God actually kicking me when I was already down? I knew better, but at 4:30am when the phone rang, I knew it couldn’t be good news. My heart sank as I reached for the phone. The vet told me she was so sorry, but our dog had passed. You see, she had been rushed to the emergency vet the night before. We thought she was going to recover, but just like that, she was gone. My husband and I held each other and cried. This just seemed like too much. In our sadness, she had been such a comfort. Now she was gone. Hadn’t we had enough grief? Why this too?...

Entering into the Joy of OthersChristina Fox2025-06-12T18:05:51+00:00

Life After Cancer

MARISSA HENLEY|GUEST Editor's Note: Below is an excerpt from Marissa's newly published devotional, After Cancer: Thriving with Hope (P&R, 2025), used with permission. Filled with both dread and hope, I forced a deep breath through my anxiety-stricken lungs and stepped into the counselor’s office. Almost two years had passed since I had been diagnosed with a rare cancer called angiosarcoma. The chemotherapy, clinical trial, radiation, and surgery had ended about a year prior, and my scans showed no evidence of disease. Some days, I was thrilled to be alive. I felt happy, grateful, and free. Other days, I felt like cancer still had me in its suffocating grip. The new perspective that made me grateful for each day also made me greedy for years I wasn’t sure I’d get to enjoy. Cancer had been purged from my body, but it wouldn’t leave my mind. I was tired of feeling consumed by cancer. A few minutes later, I sat on the counselor’s sofa, telling my story through tears. I started with the facts: The lump in my breast. The phone call two weeks later. The internet search that revealed a grim prognosis. The oncologist at MD Anderson Cancer Center who looked me in the eyes and said, “I can cure you.” The months of chemotherapy. The clinical trial that took me away from my three young children for weeks and weeks as I received treatment in Houston, six hundred miles from home. Radiation and surgery, also in Houston. God’s faithfulness and provision through dark days of suffering, sickness, and fear. But my story was more than those facts. Fear, grief, and trauma interwove through those details, but I often buried my emotions as I shared the happy ending of my story. I talked freely about the when, where, and how, but I didn’t think people would want to hear the questions I wrestled with daily: Why? What now? I often separated the facts from my feelings when I told the story, but in the safety of the counselor’s office, my emotional turmoil rose to the surface and overflowed...

Life After CancerChristina Fox2025-05-24T16:33:49+00:00

The Article You Don’t Want to Read

LAURA PATTERSON | GUEST For the third time in five months, I found myself at the bedside of a dying family member. Yet again, I watched the regimented push of morphine and changing respiratory patterns that led to the death rattle. Apneas increased and lengthened, extra morphine was pushed, and that final breath—ready or not, it came. She went to her Father’s house on Father’s Day. My precious Granny was 86. Spoon-feeding her those final bites on earth felt so inadequate when I thought of all the ways she had fed me in my lifetime. Holding her cold, clammy hand on her deathbed could never match all the ways her hands had tenderly held me and my children. I felt helpless to provide the comfort and peace I longed to give her. She had lived a long life, but death still felt like an armed intruder. Death will always be an enemy in this life. But, to the one who will listen, death is perhaps the best teacher there is. The author of Ecclesiastes tells us this when he says, ”the day of death is better than the day of birth. It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind and the living will lay it to heart” (7:1-2). What can we learn from death and how can we pursue its instruction?...

The Article You Don’t Want to ReadChristina Fox2025-04-12T18:16:45+00:00

Content in Suffering

KC JONES|GUEST My children and I were recently reading the children’s classic story, Pollyanna, when I was struck by the many themes and motifs that run parallel to Scripture. I finished the tale with an epiphany I had never considered before. The story of Pollyanna revolves around a little girl who beams with joy and wholesome goodness. After she is orphaned initially by her mother and then by her father’s passing, Pollyanna moves in with her Aunt Polly who lives by a strict code of legalism which she refers to as “her duty.” Life is as you would imagine it would be for a young child moving in with a spinster who has never dreamed of, let alone entertained precocious, young children she has been tasked to raise alone. Holding on to Joy Pollyanna sets about revolutionizing the small town of Beldingsville by spreading the innate joy she feels with each individual. It is not long before it becomes evident how she impacts each resident, one at a time. Pollyanna’s secret is a little game her father taught her to play called the “glad game,” a personal challenge to come up with something she is thankful for despite the hardship she feels, no matter how small or insignificant. As Pollyanna lives out this model, members of the community, who at first had remained reticent, begin to grow curious, then find themselves playing the game as well. A measure of grace soon pervades the residents who were once broken and embittered by the trials of life—which end up being the very catalysts for moving them to a deeper place of joy. Pollyanna’s genuine good nature compared with the resident’s hardened hearts, reminds me of the Apostle Paul who knew firsthand what it meant to remain content during suffering. Consider what Paul tells the Corinthians regarding suffering, “For this light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Cor. 4:17-18). Paul not only understood the depths of human misery, but also maintained joy through such suffering because he knew God was using it to strengthen his faith. Like Paul, Pollyanna tenaciously holds onto joy despite the various difficulties she faces, both large and small. She refuses to lose the game...

Content in SufferingChristina Fox2025-04-12T18:13:08+00:00

God’s Faithfulness in a Winter Season: The Gift of Weakness

MARISSA HENLEY|GUEST “I hear, and my body trembles; my lips quiver at the sound; rottenness enters into my bones; my legs tremble beneath me. Yet I will quietly wait for the day of trouble to come upon people who invade us.” (Habakkuk 3:16) When I battled a rare cancer in 2010-2011, the effect of the chemotherapy on my platelets caused me to need a clinical trial and receive treatment hundreds of miles away from my home and my young family. I was suffering in a way that I never had before, and I was completely powerless to change my circumstances. A friend of mine read about a study in Greece that found that eating purple grapes would boost your platelets. It was on the internet, so it was probably true, right? I started eating large amounts purple grapes. You can probably guess how much impact it had on my platelets. That’s right—none at all. It was one more reminder of my weakness. I was suffering, everyone I loved was suffering along with me, and there was nothing I could do but sit in a beige recliner, passively receive the chemotherapy that made me feel awful, and beg God to heal me. When we’re in a winter season of suffering, we often feel weak and powerless to fix our circumstances. If we could change things and get ourselves out of that season, we certainly would. This feeling of weakness is an unavoidable part of our experience of suffering...

God’s Faithfulness in a Winter Season: The Gift of WeaknessChristina Fox2025-04-12T18:21:40+00:00