wisdom

When We Face a Relational Conflict

MORGAN FIKKERT|GUEST There it was: the email. And, with it, the anxiety. A lady from my Bible study group wrote to me that my response to her sharing her personal story had bothered her. The added twist was that her daughter was one of my closest friends. In my frustration and anxiety, I experienced two quick instincts: either shoot back a defensive email, or call my friend to vent to her about her mother. Other times, the tables have turned on me. Once, a lady told her friend about a decision I’d made that she disagreed with (although, she’d seemed happy with the decision when we had talked). Her friend then came to me, upset on her behalf. It left me with the question: why didn’t she talk to me about it herself? It should be simple, but we all know how hard it is to talk directly to the person we should be talking to. When a situation goes sideways, the anxiety can feel like water bubbling up in a boiling hot pot—it needs somewhere to go, and fast....

When We Face a Relational ConflictChristina Fox2026-10-18T18:19:42+00:00

Biblical Wisdom on When to Say Yes

BETHANY BELUE | CONTRIBUTOR It wasn’t long after I moved to New York City that I was commuting home from a day at the Redeemer offices and happened to be in the same subway car with one of our assistant pastors. I don’t know how the conversation began, but I remember both of us making comments about how busy our lives felt. I was a recent college graduate, single, and navigating life with a full-time job in a big city. He was a pastor, husband, and father of young children. Both of us felt overwhelmed but for very different reasons. I do not remember much of that conversation except for a simple statement he made that has remained with me for many years: “Sometimes we have to say no to a good thing to say yes to a better thing. Every time we say yes to something, we are saying no to something else.” He probably wasn’t thinking he was making a revolutionary statement to me, but to a young girl figuring out time, boundaries, and life out of college, the statement changed much of my perspective. The Pull of How We Spend Our Time When we step back and think about the big picture of our lives, God’s Word makes it clear that each of us has a set number of days. The Lord knows these days before one of them comes to be (Ps. 139:16), and He has directly told us to wisely use our days that He has given us (Eph. 5:15-17)....

Biblical Wisdom on When to Say YesChristina Fox2026-10-18T18:12:18+00:00

Forming Better Questions for Decision Making

HEIDI MOSHER | GUEST Choices. Options. Paths. Each stage of life presents something momentous to consider—“what’s next” questions that demand decisions. This college or that? Should I date him? Marry him? How about a baby? How about another? Daycare? How will we educate these kids? College or career? Which college? Is it time to switch jobs? Time for new surroundings—if so, where? Should Mom be living alone? How should I best use my time in this new stage of life? Sometimes we must decide what’s next. What advice should we follow? Sometimes a child or a friend seeks our input on a decision. What advice should we offer? As Christian women, we turn to the Lord with our “what’s next” questions, acknowledge him (Prov. 3:5–6), ask for wisdom (James 1:5), and pray for peace (Phil. 4:6–7). We can even ask for doors to open or close (Col. 4:3) and trust the outcome (Prov. 16:9). And we search Scripture for guidance. We may not find the specifics we seek however. No Bible verse will reveal the exact college to attend or the name of the city to move to. Yet, the Bible lights our paths (Ps. 119:105)....

Forming Better Questions for Decision MakingChristina Fox2026-09-29T19:29:52+00:00

Is Your Yes or No on Autopilot?

LISA UPDIKE | GUEST According to conversations with kids, most families have a “no” parent and a “yes” parent, and the kids know which one to go to when they want something. I think most people tend to be an auto pilot “yes” or “no.” I suppose we could leave it at that. Some of us are quicker to jump in, some are better at healthy boundaries, and that’s that. But I’m not so sure this status quo is where we ought to live. In fact, the more I think about it, the more convinced I am that God would call us to something better. Problematic Yes A default of saying “yes” can be a beautiful thing. You have a heart ready to serve. People know they can count on you. You see the needs and you know how to fill them. You lay down your life for others. What a blessing! Not only that, but Yes Girl is popular! She is known. She is a go-getter. And therein lies the issue. People-pleasing is a lousy reason to be the Yes Girl. We must examine our hearts (sigh...that heart examination is ever-present). Who are we seeking to please? Ourselves, others, or Jesus? By rushing in with our “yes” we might be robbing others of an opportunity to serve. We may be robbing our families of our time. And worst of all, we may be tempted to find our identity in being the one who does it all, or enjoy the thankfulness of others a little too much, or find satisfaction in playing the overworked martyr. We may rely on our busyness to fill a void. This is a problematic “yes.”...

Is Your Yes or No on Autopilot?Christina Fox2026-09-12T12:47:22+00:00

Taking Time Off Takes Humility and Faith

ELLEN DYKAS | CONTRIBUTOR Those who live alongside me as friends and co-laborers in the gospel have most likely heard me say, “I’ve got my share of issues, but workaholism isn’t one of them!” Am I busy? Yes! Do I seem to always be ‘on the go’? Probably. Do I sometimes pridefully struggle with saying yes when the wiser answer would be no? Check. However, I’m grateful that, generally speaking, I enjoy time off and don’t live enslaved to my ministry position. However, a while ago, I reached a point when I needed to detach altogether from my key ministry leadership role at my church. A convergence of circumstances challenged my commitment to truly rest. The convergence of needs, conflicting opinions, and ministry roles My paid vocational path has been a rich one for the past nineteen years at Harvest USA. It’s been a profound privilege to journey with hurting wives and women bound up in sexual sin, along with teaching church leaders how to engage in this kind of ministry. It’s also been intense to be invited into the delicate and painful circumstances of others and to come face to face with the darkness of habituated patterns of sin. This is my day job that I get paid for. However, my local church family is, well, my family in Christ, and so I seek to invest in the spiritual maturity, encouragement, and care of my brothers and sisters. I’m also consistently grateful for being on the receiving end of such precious gifts in the household of faith. My key place of service since 2022 has been in our church’s “Sister Care Ministry,” which provides companionship and care for women in crisis. Here’s what converged and confronted me with my limitations....

Taking Time Off Takes Humility and FaithChristina Fox2026-09-02T19:40:39+00:00

What Happened When I Evaluated My Tech Usage

JANE STORY |GUEST Our modern world boasts incredible technology. Yet ubiquitous internet, smartphones, and AI are powerful drugs with risks and side effects. Excessive internet use correlates with loneliness and it gives children access to porn at younger ages than in the past. Additionally, a study published last year notes AI’s negative impact on critical thinking skills. Technology can help or a threaten our spiritual lives. The Bible app and devotional programs make God’s Word accessible. But many AI models represent religions inaccurately, and apps do not set our minds on things above (Col. 3:2). In my own life, technology distracts and entices me. I am tempted to ask advice from Chat GPT before turning to God, or I crave Instagram instead of the Word. I even find purpose in getting rid of notifications instead of walking in the Spirit. It’s not just a bad habit, it’s a sign that my heart looks to technology for comfort and meaning, instead of reserving that for God...

What Happened When I Evaluated My Tech UsageChristina Fox2026-04-12T18:08:26+00:00

Three Questions to Ask When Using AI

AMANDA DUVALL | GUEST Artificial Intelligence (AI) is everywhere—in the news, in my internet searches and online shopping, and even my personal conversations. The advances and changes are coming so fast, I teeter between growing excited about how this tool will help me get more done and spiraling down a rabbit hole over all the ways technology is changing the world as we know it. In my limited usage, I’ve already found AI powerful and useful for a variety of tasks. AI has helped me get my one-year-old to sleep better, research for and edit work quicker, gain ideas to treat odd health symptoms, plan travel, and more. AI can do it all—in mere seconds! Still, there are so many moral and ethical concerns surrounding AI, regarding privacy and data, content and regulation, intellectual property rights, threats to creative work, relational confusion, and massive disruptions in education, the economy, and health care. It is easy to give in to fear and frankly, I prefer to delegate these concerns as “out there,” for someone else to unravel. I am just a normal nobody trying to keep up and figure out how to use AI to make life a little bit more manageable. Then, I remember the day I got my Facebook account. As a college freshman sitting in my dorm room, suddenly I was connected to college students across my campus and the country. Social media opened a world of possibilities, what could go wrong? We know so much more now than we did then about how social media affects our brains, our ability to focus, and our mental health, to name a few issues. Haven’t we learned our lesson, then? I’m not sure. Too often, we are so desperate to adopt a new technology with the promise of optimizing our lives without considering, “just because I can use it for all these things, should I? We need to be discerning, not just about how AI is changing our world, but also how it is changing us. With all this change spinning out of our control, we cling to the promise, “the Word of the Lord remains forever” (1 Peter 1:25). We can turn to Him in this, and in every situation. Here are three questions, grounded in what God tells us is good and true, to ask when using AI...

Three Questions to Ask When Using AIChristina Fox2025-11-13T21:20:17+00:00

The Faithfulness of God in the Fall of Life

ELIZABETH TURNAGE | CONTRIBUTOR “For everything there is a season, and a time for every activity under heaven.” (Ecc. 3:1). Golden yellows, flaming oranges, deep burgundies — the brilliant leaves dance in the wind, announcing the change of season. Sunflower wreaths adorn neighborhood doors; coffee shops beckon with pumpkin spice lattes. Where I live, in the humid South, the dripping heat has relented to slightly drier air. What’s not to love about fall? We love fall, but we know, as Robert Frost reminded us, that “nothing gold can stay.” With shorter daylight hours will come the browning and furling of the leaves, and within a matter of days, a cool wind will loosen their dried-up grip on the branches, and they will slowly fall to the earth, returning to dust. Fall means glorious light and color; fall hints at the winter withering to come. Indeed, as the cynical Preacher of Ecclesiastes suggests, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every activity under heaven” (Ecc. 3:1)....

The Faithfulness of God in the Fall of LifeChristina Fox2025-09-27T13:21:26+00:00

We Were Made for Less

LEAH FARISH|GUEST A popular line in Christian contemporary songs is “You were made for more.” The audience I conjure is the careworn mom with her hands in dishwater or a man aimlessly walking through a dreary urban landscape. But don’t we all suspect from time to time that God’s plan for us involves more glamor, appreciation, and gratification than we’re currently experiencing? Actually, we might do better to think in terms of “less.” We might “say less.” I love this Gen Z phrase for “You needn’t say more—I understand.” It also reminds me of Paul’s standard for speech as he set forth in Ephesians 4:29—"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.” Similarly, we might consider owning less, or worrying less—overall, doing less....

We Were Made for LessChristina Fox2025-08-13T20:37:02+00:00

Road Trips

SHARON ROCKWELL | CONTRIBUTOR I love road trips. Recently we were traveling in a remote area where we saw a road sign that read simply “Rough Road Ahead.” It wasn’t long before I felt the impact of a road that was in such poor condition that I knew we were in for a long, bumpy ride. I slowed down sensing that I could easily get caught in the potholed surface. We bottomed out a couple of times. I slowed down even more, dodging divots, sometimes slipping, and praying for smoother surfaces ahead as I tried to maintain control. Road Signs for Life Wouldn’t it be helpful if we had road signs for life that signaled when we were in danger, and needed to prepare for a bumpy ride? In fact, such instructions for life are recorded in Proverbs 4. Here Solomon, under the direction of the Holy Spirit, provides instructions for his son to obtain wisdom, which will guard him for life. In a later passage we learn that “the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord” (Prov. 9:10). True wisdom comes from a reverential view of God’s authority and greatness. We respond to learning about God and His ways by living in accordance with His commands. It all comes down to choices. You can choose the path that serves God, or the path of the wicked. Wisdom is the principal treasure to be acquired. With it, “When you walk, your step will not be hampered, and if you run you will not stumble” (Prov. 4:12). Solomon uses an ‘Attention’ sign to signal us to listen to his words, meditate upon them, and hide them in our hearts. “Be attentive to my words, incline your ear to my sayings” (Prov. 4:20). This prepares us for a life seeking a godly path rather than our own path. Solomon’s words are “life to those who find them and healing to all their flesh” (Prov. 4:22)....

Road TripsChristina Fox2025-06-21T19:28:20+00:00