trust

Is Your Yes or No on Autopilot?

LISA UPDIKE | GUEST According to conversations with kids, most families have a “no” parent and a “yes” parent, and the kids know which one to go to when they want something. I think most people tend to be an auto pilot “yes” or “no.” I suppose we could leave it at that. Some of us are quicker to jump in, some are better at healthy boundaries, and that’s that. But I’m not so sure this status quo is where we ought to live. In fact, the more I think about it, the more convinced I am that God would call us to something better. Problematic Yes A default of saying “yes” can be a beautiful thing. You have a heart ready to serve. People know they can count on you. You see the needs and you know how to fill them. You lay down your life for others. What a blessing! Not only that, but Yes Girl is popular! She is known. She is a go-getter. And therein lies the issue. People-pleasing is a lousy reason to be the Yes Girl. We must examine our hearts (sigh...that heart examination is ever-present). Who are we seeking to please? Ourselves, others, or Jesus? By rushing in with our “yes” we might be robbing others of an opportunity to serve. We may be robbing our families of our time. And worst of all, we may be tempted to find our identity in being the one who does it all, or enjoy the thankfulness of others a little too much, or find satisfaction in playing the overworked martyr. We may rely on our busyness to fill a void. This is a problematic “yes.”...

Is Your Yes or No on Autopilot?Christina Fox2026-09-12T12:47:22+00:00

Taking Time Off Takes Humility and Faith

ELLEN DYKAS | CONTRIBUTOR Those who live alongside me as friends and co-laborers in the gospel have most likely heard me say, “I’ve got my share of issues, but workaholism isn’t one of them!” Am I busy? Yes! Do I seem to always be ‘on the go’? Probably. Do I sometimes pridefully struggle with saying yes when the wiser answer would be no? Check. However, I’m grateful that, generally speaking, I enjoy time off and don’t live enslaved to my ministry position. However, a while ago, I reached a point when I needed to detach altogether from my key ministry leadership role at my church. A convergence of circumstances challenged my commitment to truly rest. The convergence of needs, conflicting opinions, and ministry roles My paid vocational path has been a rich one for the past nineteen years at Harvest USA. It’s been a profound privilege to journey with hurting wives and women bound up in sexual sin, along with teaching church leaders how to engage in this kind of ministry. It’s also been intense to be invited into the delicate and painful circumstances of others and to come face to face with the darkness of habituated patterns of sin. This is my day job that I get paid for. However, my local church family is, well, my family in Christ, and so I seek to invest in the spiritual maturity, encouragement, and care of my brothers and sisters. I’m also consistently grateful for being on the receiving end of such precious gifts in the household of faith. My key place of service since 2022 has been in our church’s “Sister Care Ministry,” which provides companionship and care for women in crisis. Here’s what converged and confronted me with my limitations....

Taking Time Off Takes Humility and FaithChristina Fox2026-09-02T19:40:39+00:00

On Parenting and Letting Go

JAMYE DOERFLER | CONTRIBUTOR This summer, we’re preparing to take our eldest child to his final year of college. We’ve gotten pretty used to this by now, but I remember the particular angst of taking him his first year. I counted down the days of summer, relishing every last hug, anticipating the emptiness of the house without him. Once he was gone, I counted down the days until fall break, reconciling myself to the reality that even though he was coming home, we had already begun the process of letting him go. Of course, every family situation is different: children may go far away to school or stay close to home; some may join the military or get a job and be out of the house for good. Regardless of the specific details, when our child graduates from high school and begins the next chapter, it becomes clear that, as parents, we are losing our daily “ownership” of them, which can be difficult to accept. Whether we are anticipating that our child will thrive or are anxious that our child will struggle, this transition usually comes with some strong emotions. If the emotions of saying goodbye to your child are overwhelming you, consider this reality: our children were never only ours; they have always been the Lord’s....

On Parenting and Letting GoChristina Fox2026-08-14T17:38:55+00:00

Entrusting Your College Student to the Lord

SHEA PATRICK | CONTRIBUTOR Our first child was born eighteen and a half years ago. My husband and I could not believe that after only a couple of days the hospital was going to send him home with us. We felt unprepared and out of our depth to deal with the needs of a newborn. Truthfully, he has served as the “guinea pig” as the oldest of five siblings. As he has grown through the years, we have grown along with him as parents, facing new challenges, situations, and transitions. From the first days of elementary school to the first day of high school, we have attempted through God’s grace to guide him in the ways of the Lord. In less than a month, he will move 6.5 hours away to college. This move will end the family life that we have known for so many years. The change is bittersweet. After all, we want our children to grow and mature and develop into young men and women. It is a natural part of life. However, I must admit to mixed feelings and questions during this time of transition. Maybe you find yourself in a similar situation and are asking similar questions to these: Have I done enough?...

Entrusting Your College Student to the LordChristina Fox2026-08-04T15:28:17+00:00

Let God Cook

SUSAN TYNER | CONTRIBUTOR My husband Lee and I do not fight a lot, but when we do, it’s usually over something small. During our first year of marriage, our fights started in the kitchen. He had a way of cleaning knives because he worked in a restaurant growing up. Since I grew up cooking (and washing a lot of dishes), I didn’t really think that advice applied to me. When he insisted his way of knife handling was better than mine, I took it personally. Two hours later, we were making up after a huge fight. Turns out, the fight was not about the knife, but control. Before you think this is a “how to” marriage blog, hear my next kitchen story. For context, this is after thirty-six years in the kitchen. We have learned we have different approaches to meal prep. I tend to go fast and “eyeball” measurements while Lee’s perfectly chopped onion would make any sous chef jealous. Recently, I was cooking a recipe for the umpteenth time while Lee and our youngest daughter, Rebecca, were hanging around the kitchen island. Lee kept on asking questions about what I was doing to the point of triggering another Iron Chef battle episode. Although that was not his intent, it was slowing me down and I could feel my heart wanting to grab control of my kitchen. Before that could happen, Rebecca says in her twenty-something slang, Dad, let Mom cook!...

Let God CookChristina Fox2026-05-23T16:48:29+00:00

A Testimony in Sorrow

JENNA BOGARD | GUEST As my dear pastor neared the end of his life in 2022, I wept by his hospital bed. All I could utter was, “Jim, you are going to be with Christ soon!” His face lit up; that was all he wanted. His intimacy with Christ was apparent to everyone who knew him. Prior to his death, he repeatedly urged me to dive into the Song of Solomon as it ministered to him greatly in his last few months of suffering with ALS. At the time, I dismissed his claim that the book had anything to do with Christ and the church and even teased him for holding such beliefs. I wish he was still here so I could humbly admit my error and thank him for pointing me to some of the most beautiful truths of Christ that I’ve only begun to uncover. A Reflection of the Heart Dr. David Murray’s exposition of Song of Solomon chapter five was particularly impactful as it so perfectly described my spiritual condition at the time: utterly weak, fearful, depressed, and desperate.[i] As the chapter opens, the groom is at the door, calling the bride to open the door (v. 2). However, the bride is apathetic to his call. “I had put off my garment; how could I put it on? I had bathed my feet; how could I soil them?” (v.3) The bride didn’t want to put in the effort, a situation we usually find ourselves in when we have temporarily satisfied ourselves with the lust of our idols...

A Testimony in SorrowChristina Fox2026-02-14T18:25:24+00:00

Our Shepherd in the Desert

KC JONES | GUEST Growing up in the arid Rockies of Colorado, I did not need anyone to tell me how important it was to drink water and lots of it. I applied lotion twice a day, morning and night, so that my feet and palms would not crack and bleed. I knew better than to go on any excursion alone without taking necessary precautions such as informing loved ones of where I was going, how long it should take, and securing plenty of snacks and water. Lots of water. One does not typically search for water in the desert. It is hard to imagine anyone might find refreshment and restoration in a place consisting of the most extreme elements– scarce in human resources. Yet, for those who see with their spiritual eyes, the desert is precisely the place God uses as a refuge for His own. Perhaps it seems odd that the desert is often used by the Lord to protect His people, provide for them, and to prepare them for what He has for them. If we examine the significance of the desert experience, it might be easier to comprehend God’s purpose for our lives...

Our Shepherd in the DesertChristina Fox2026-01-16T19:24:23+00:00

The Call to Remember

LINDSAY FUNCHES | GUEST Apart from the two times when I actually forgot my children, the worst episode of mother forgetfulness in my life occurred in Atlanta, Georgia, when I had four children under the age of six. Having just moved to the area, we had been attending our new church for two months. Mary Boyde was five, Sam was three, Steele was nineteen months old, and Hayley was two months old. Steele had Crouzon Syndrome, a craniofacial syndrome like the boy in the movie Wonder, serious medical issues, and literally a dozen doctors. He wasn’t sleeping at night because of severe sleep apnea. Needless to say, I was exhausted as Christmas approached. As is often the case, our new church performed a magnificent Christmas pageant every year with the Sunday School children. Oddly enough, they held this Christmas pageant during the Sunday School hour...

The Call to RememberChristina Fox2025-12-12T12:00:54+00:00

Sowing in Tears

GINNY VROBLESKY|GUEST He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him. Psalm 126: 6 (NIV) I remember sitting at my computer quietly weeping. I had been unemployed for quite a while. Job hunting has always been one of the hardest things in my life. I felt as though I did not fit anywhere. I had prayed, asking God for help, when suddenly, the phone rang. It was someone I had never met calling from a different state. He was involved in campus ministry and was planning to use some work that I had done years before. I was amazed and touched that God had him call just when I needed some encouragement. But the best was yet to come. He also sent me an email which included some verses from Psalm 126. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him. Sowing while Weeping At first, I thought those verses applied to persevering when life seemed to be hard. Send out those resumes and keep knocking on doors. But as I have studied this psalm, I have realized that much more is involved. The song is about people who have returned from exile to the longed-for land of promise. In the beginning, they could not believe what had happened: We were like men who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter. They saw what the Lord had done for them. They were where God had led them. Even though I was looking for a new job, I too was where God had led me...

Sowing in TearsChristina Fox2025-10-24T17:22:34+00:00

When a Holding Pattern is Your Homework Assignment

LAURA PATTERSON | GUEST Three years ago, I found myself in a holding pattern over the city of Nashville. Only minutes after the pilot instructed the cabin and crew to prepare for descent, the plan seemed to change. I realized over the next 30 minutes, with no announcement from the cockpit, that we were not landing after all. Instead, we were circling the Nashville airport in a racetrack pattern, suspended at 30,000 feet. For someone with anxious tendencies, combined with the fact that I was traveling alone, I began to feel unsettled. I focused on deep breathing and tried to distract myself. But I knew something was wrong—why weren’t we landing at our intended destination? Perhaps the experience of a holding pattern feels familiar as you settle into the realities of a new school or ministry year. You bought tickets to an intended destination, packed your bags appropriately, and now that you are in the air, you are confronted with the fact that you are not actually in control. Unknown Flight Path As far as I can recall, every past school and ministry year has brought with it a new or ongoing holding pattern. It’s like a spiritual homework assignment set on repeat. And, as a new year of learning and growing is now underway, I find myself wondering how this journey will go...

When a Holding Pattern is Your Homework AssignmentChristina Fox2025-09-12T11:51:41+00:00