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Spiritual Mothers Point Us to Christ

AMY SHORE | GUEST She grew up in a small West Virginia town near the Mason-Dixon that changed hands between the North and the South 56 times during the Civil War. Her family reflected that instability. It wasn’t until college that I started to see and understand the evil and dysfunction that my mother survived as a child. It wasn’t until early adulthood that I saw it as evil and dysfunctional. And it wasn’t until recently that I comprehended the notion that she survived childhood. But if I’m being honest, she did more than survive. The very fact that I had clothes on my back, grew up in church, and was loved bears testimony to that redemptive fact. She showed me a kind of love and affection that shouldn’t have been possible for a woman with her past. I didn’t understand it. I couldn’t relate to her in so many ways—and still can’t. But I’m beginning to see the grace that was poured out by a benevolent Father in both our lives reflected in that love that was never modeled to her. Her love is imperfect. And that’s probably the part I wrestled with the most once I left home. An 18-year-old has grand visions of how she will rise above her parents and be better, be different, be free. 18-year-old me grew to 20-something me who came to resent all the ways my mother did not meet my needs. So, I decided to have no needs. I would rise above. I would pull myself up by my proverbial bootstraps and make my own way. I decided the best way to keep my heart intact would be to need no one. I excelled at my new-found independence. I soared, really! I quickly rose from the ranks of the needy, to the self-sufficient, and then graduated to White Horse Specialist First Class. I became the one who met other’s needs. I became all things to all people. To my siblings—I was their stand-in mama. To my students—I was the teacher who made learning fun. To my best friends—I was the ever-present pillar of strength. To my church—I was the tireless volunteer. Until I began to encounter circumstances that were larger than the persona I had mustered...

Spiritual Mothers Point Us to Christ2024-04-09T21:11:08+00:00

Making Space to Connect Across the Generations

KAREN HODGE | CONTRIBUTOR Miss Janey Bilderback was an eighty-year-old retired missionary from Africa. She gave her life away on the mission field and never married. This dear woman entered my life in junior high at the Southern Baptist Church I attended in West Palm Beach, Florida. Now looking back, you would think if you had served most of your life in rural Africa, that you might get a free pass for time well served when the youth pastor was recruiting Sunday School teachers. But she showed up week in and week out and opened the Bible with a bunch of insecure, clueless junior high girls. Miss Janey extended hospitality by opening our time with Dunkin Doughnut holes to get us talking. She saw past our small, awkward appearance and held up a vision of a big God who she believed could do abundantly more than we could ask or think. When we graduated from junior high school, she gave each girl in our class an embordered linen handkerchief. Even after we moved on to high school, she would write us notes and check in on us. I held onto that handkerchief long after Miss Janey went to be with the Lord. I asked the florist to include this priceless gift in the middle of my wedding bouquet. Miss Janey's intergenerational friendship impacted me more than I could have ever imagined. The Hospitality of the Gospel A definition our family likes to use for hospitality is “to make space.” Of course, you make space at a table for a guest to dine by setting another place setting. But the hospitality of the gospel makes space in a myriad of different and costly ways. We can make space in a conversation to listen to the questions underneath the questions. Creating margin in our calendar to be able to have space to respond to the need of people in our life extends grace and hospitality. We are often stretched when we make space in our lives for different kinds of people who may struggle in different stages of their faith journey. Miss Janey made space for young women who had nothing to offer and each Sunday morning at 10 a.m., we rehearsed the content of the gospel in the context of community over doughnut holes...

Making Space to Connect Across the Generations2024-03-29T17:08:02+00:00

Welcome Younger Women into Your Life

CHRISTINE GORDON | CONTRIBUTOR The first time we met, she was hosting tea in two different rooms of her African home. Tea is a big deal in Malawi, along with the relationships and conversations that surround it. At that point she was probably in her 40s, had one grown son back in the States and a middle school-aged daughter with her while she and her husband served at the African Bible College (ABC) in Lilongwe. She had been a Christian most of her life, grew up in the rural Midwest, loved marriage and children and cooking. After her husband’s army career and her many years as a nurse, they answered a call to Sub-Saharan Africa. There I met them while on a mission trip with a local church during the summer after my senior year of college. I immediately put Barbara into a small box in my mind that included 1950s moms who baked and waited for their children to come home so they could pour them glasses of milk. Of course, there was nothing wrong with women like this, but I knew I didn’t want to be one. I wanted a career, was unsure of marriage, and had decided I didn’t want children. I had been a Christian just over two years when I walked into Barbara’s living room that summer. I never would have expected how our lives would intertwine, or how much I would want to be like her. While on the ABC campus those first two weeks, I watched Barbara serve meals, ask questions, and listen to our group of about 20 students. She smiled, laughed, and patiently explained life in Africa to us. She obviously loved and enjoyed Bruce, a large teddy bear of a man who taught classes at the school. I learned that she walked around the gym on campus every day for exercise and asked if I could join her. She graciously allowed me to come for the first of what would become many shared walks. Barbara was just beginning to become to me what felt like an anchor in the changing and sometimes confusing sea that was Africa. Meanwhile, our team from the US visited villages, shared the gospel, and spent time with students. As I saw more and more of the poverty around me, (Malawi was the 4th poorest country in the world at the time), I struggled. The questions I had in the back of my mind about a good God and pain in the world were suddenly front and center. Bruce and Barbara had a meeting in their house to discuss what we had seen and felt. She moved among us offering tea, a listening ear, and comfort...

Welcome Younger Women into Your Life2024-02-17T18:12:21+00:00

The Irreplaceable Encouragement of Intergenerational Relationships

AMANDA DUVALL | GUEST I took a seat at my assigned table for my first Bible study at our new church and was surprised to see a number of gray and white heads dotted among the tables. I wondered, what would it be like to study alongside women who were 20, 30, or more years older than I? Up until this point, my close friendships consisted of almost exclusively people in or near my stage of life. As I’ve aged, I noticed that surrounding myself with people of my own generation is like living with tunnel vision. I could sense I didn’t know what I didn’t know. Of course, I had read Titus 2:3, which instructs older women to teach and train younger women in what is good, and that’s what I wanted! But I had little idea what this might actually look like in my real life. Today, I am privileged to have friendships with women who live out the example of Titus 2 that I’ve longed to see. And it is not their own brilliance or expertise that shines, but the way they lift my eyes from the false hope of self-focus to behold what is truly good—Jesus Christ. Humility at every age Each week, friends with decades of experience following Jesus put on a posture of humility as they engage with our group and with God’s Word, and in doing so have taught me more than any lesson plan could...

The Irreplaceable Encouragement of Intergenerational Relationships2024-01-03T14:21:54+00:00

A Whole Lot of Mothering Going On

While this post is somewhat about motherhood, it’s more about mothering. And while I will be talking about my perspective as a mother, I hope there is something here that will encourage you— whether your mothering is in the biological realm, the spiritual realm, or both. To embrace our God-given design as lifegivers is a joyful expression of who we were created to be. I’m a mother of five and a grandmother of eight. I’m fortunate that my own mother was able to come stay with us when a new baby arrived. Having her there to help in all sorts of ways made those first crazy days survivable. As terrifying as it was to bring that new little person home from the hospital, it was nothing compared to watching Mom drive away and knowing I was now on my own. When my own daughter began having children, I couldn’t get that airplane ticket fast enough. Every passenger between Houston and Nashville knew that I was going to meet my newest grandbaby! From my experience of being both on the receiving and the giving end of this special kind of caretaking, I can’t help notice some similarities with our role as spiritual mothers as well. Eat, Eat! We all know the intensity of a newborn’s cry for food. Eating is serious business! But a new mama needs to eat as well. Remember that early fog? When you feel like you just ran a race and want nothing more than to sleep, unless that something more is food? Labor and delivery were only the beginning of this marathon! Having mom there to shop and cook and do the dishes and make all our favorite meals was more than just help: it was nourishment for our weary, hungry souls. The last thing on my mind when I was a gazillion-weeks pregnant was making things look pretty, yet here Mom was: putting the jam in a pretty dish, folding napkins, and making our time around the table a celebration. When my own house was full of little ones, my older children knew the best part of having a new baby was the meals from our church friends. Every night was like Christmas as these dear saints blessed us with dinner (usually with plenty of leftovers!). I will never forget the morning that Miss April brought over a platter of freshly fried chicken. I don’t remember why she was there at 10 AM, but I do remember that those drumsticks didn’t make it to dinnertime!  After spending a week with my daughter last month, I was reminded how much hungry kids can eat. What fun to bake and cook for a crowd again! If you are in a spiritual mothering relationship, you know that one of the best ways to care for your daughter is through the word of God. It is her food and she needs to eat. Sometimes we model that by showing her what a beautiful feast looks like: a specially prepared Bible study or devotion, a lesson from our own life that we can share. Sometimes we show up with that “emergency meal” and remind her that no Christian can survive on a starvation diet...

A Whole Lot of Mothering Going On2022-05-05T00:45:24+00:00

For Every Woman on Mother’s Day

KATIE POLSKI|CONTRIBUTOR When I was about twelve, I was asked to help with a special assignment at our church on Mother’s Day. As each mother entered, I was told to hand them a pink carnation and say, “Happy Mother’s Day!” I distinctly remember my follow-up question: How will I know who is a mother? These kinds of gestures are certainly thoughtful and meant to be celebratory, but, oh, how narrow-minded we can be on this holiday! As a believer in Jesus, be encouraged this Mother’s Day not for the reasons the world labels it as “happy,” but find joy in the precious words of Jesus that bless and exhort each who are uniquely touched by the emotions that accompany this particular day. For Those Who Have Lost A Child “I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38) You likely enter Mother’s Day with empty hands and a longing heart. Whether it’s because of a miscarriage, disease, or other tribulation, there are so many tender emotions tied to Mother’s Day because of layered grief. Dear woman, be encouraged by the depth and width of the love of Jesus. There is no hardship or suffering that is great enough or powerful enough to separate us from the love of Jesus. It’s because of this immeasurable love that we need not be consumed by grief or bitterness. It’s because of this immeasurable love that you put one foot in front of the other, still loving those whom God has put in your midst. You are embraced by the powerful love of Christ, and nothing can loosen His grip. For Those Who Long for Children..

For Every Woman on Mother’s Day2022-05-05T00:46:15+00:00

Three Gifts in Spiritual Mothering

I’ve never read the best seller, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, considered the “pregnancy bible” for expectant mothers, but over nineteen million people have! In her book, author Heidi Murkoff, helpfully addresses the questions and fears most first-time parents experience. It’s a sobering, exciting gift to be entrusted with a life through pregnancy, fostering, adoption, or being a spiritual mama to children born to others. We know that little ones need selfless care and love to grow and mature. God must intervene to grow a baby physically and to nurture a child spiritually in their soul. There is much wisdom to gain as we take these encouraging truths and apply them to relationships with fellow children of God. Sisters, through the Spirit we’re enabled to share spiritual life with others, and to have a faith-filled expectancy that God will bear fruit through us. An encouraging example of spiritual care and discipleship is the relationship between Paul and Timothy. Paul wanted Timothy to catch the vision to take what had been entrusted to him and to share it with others who could entrust it to others still. This is how the family of God grows: spiritual multiplication through discipleship. Let’s consider three gifts of being a spiritual mother, which is a way we can all participate in God’s family expansion. As a spiritual mother you can engage in relationships that share a Paul-Timothy bond. Paul wrote to Timothy with affectionate language, such as "my true child in the faith," and "my beloved child," even as they were from different families, cultures, and generations! Their spiritual bond was eternal because it was anchored in Christ himself, their eternal Lord. They both caught Jesus’ passion for the gospel to go out to all the nations through intentional disciple making. It makes beautiful sense that their relationship went beyond a great Christian friendship; Paul poured himself into Timothy with the hope and expectation that Timothy would do the same.   I delight in having women in my life with whom I share a Christ-centered, spiritual-family bond. There have been a few relationships with a type of Paul-Timothy ‘knitting’— a kindred-hearted ministry calling and mutual sharpening in the gospel. I’m grateful for the spiritual legacy passed down to me which was infused with a missional heartbeat to give my life away to others; now it’s my turn to entrust it to others. Spiritual mothering causes you to lean upon God’s grace and strength....

Three Gifts in Spiritual Mothering2022-05-05T00:46:56+00:00
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