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Sowing in Tears

GINNY VROBLESKY|GUEST He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him. Psalm 126: 6 (NIV) I remember sitting at my computer quietly weeping. I had been unemployed for quite a while. Job hunting has always been one of the hardest things in my life. I felt as though I did not fit anywhere. I had prayed, asking God for help, when suddenly, the phone rang. It was someone I had never met calling from a different state. He was involved in campus ministry and was planning to use some work that I had done years before. I was amazed and touched that God had him call just when I needed some encouragement. But the best was yet to come. He also sent me an email which included some verses from Psalm 126. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him. Sowing while Weeping At first, I thought those verses applied to persevering when life seemed to be hard. Send out those resumes and keep knocking on doors. But as I have studied this psalm, I have realized that much more is involved. The song is about people who have returned from exile to the longed-for land of promise. In the beginning, they could not believe what had happened: We were like men who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter. They saw what the Lord had done for them. They were where God had led them. Even though I was looking for a new job, I too was where God had led me...

Sowing in Tears2025-10-10T18:52:44+00:00

Standing Still in His Presence

KC JONES | GUEST For women, “moving” is never the problem. Whether we are moving forward, moving backward, or shuffling sideways in some sort of bizarre-crab walk, we are content to be in motion. Movement means things are happening; we are accomplishing much or at least appearing to do so. Movement also implies that by doing one thing, we are not doing something else. In many ways, it keeps us distracted from other things. Busyness can be a buffer against the pain of living in a broken world because it provides us with something else, anything else, on which to focus so that we don’t have to face the challenges, heartaches, and brokenness we all experience deep in our hearts.   Running on Empty  Don’t get me wrong: work is not the problem. Work was considered good before the Fall. After God created Adam, “The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden to work it and keep it” (Gen. 2:15). After He makes Man, God says, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helper fit for him” (2:18). Woman is declared “helper” or “Ezer”; a sufficient support for Man. It is the same term used to describe the Holy Spirit in the New Testament, or “Paraclete” in the Greek. God fashioned Woman to be hard-working, capable, and strong. Our problem isn’t that we cannot “manage” all the to-do lists, work tasks, and extra-curriculars we cram into our schedules; it is that we often do not stand still. We don’t stop working. Even when we feel inclined to sit at Jesus’ feet as Mary did, we also feel the pull of a “Martha” mentality when faced with full days.   Our constant busyness inevitably leaves us empty. We begin to struggle with disillusionment and doubt. We question what God is doing in our lives. We wonder why we work so hard if it does not make us any happier. We may feel overwhelmed about another schoolyear starting or another project deadline because we know there will just be another transition waiting for us at the end. It can feel like we are running on a proverbial hamster-wheel. Yet, we do have hope. It is an abundant hope, and it is ours for the taking...  

Standing Still in His Presence2025-08-23T14:00:59+00:00

Grief and Lament in Texas: Weeping with Hope

MARISSA BONDURANT | CONTRIBUTOR A cloud of collective grief hovers over Texas. For days after the flood, there was an actual dark cloud over all central Texas as the whole of creation groaned together in the pains of grief and longing (Rom. 8:22). A suppressive force of humidity mixed with shock and stirred with sorrow made it hard to breathe, sleep, or even make basic decisions. Although the headlines focus on the heartache in Texas, I know that this grief is seeping much farther from here. So many of the people who died were visiting from all over the country. Little girls at summer camp. Families camping under majestic cypress trees. Grandparents bunked up with grandchildren to make precious memories over the holiday. And now, thousands of people across the country grieve the loss of loved ones, co-workers, classmates, teammates, neighbors, and friends. Living in San Antonio, the Guadalupe River is considered our backyard play place. Everyone I know is only 1 or 2 degrees away from the devastation. My church alone had three girls at Camp Mystic the day the water rose. A dear friend of ours is on the ground doing recovery work. He’s got a military, warzone, ER doctor background, and he said he’s never seen anything like this. As of the writing this, they expect close to 300 image bearers to eventually be found in the debris. And in this deep, collective grief, we need the Church. We need you....

Grief and Lament in Texas: Weeping with Hope2025-07-11T19:04:12+00:00

Life After Cancer

MARISSA HENLEY|GUEST Editor's Note: Below is an excerpt from Marissa's newly published devotional, After Cancer: Thriving with Hope (P&R, 2025), used with permission. Filled with both dread and hope, I forced a deep breath through my anxiety-stricken lungs and stepped into the counselor’s office. Almost two years had passed since I had been diagnosed with a rare cancer called angiosarcoma. The chemotherapy, clinical trial, radiation, and surgery had ended about a year prior, and my scans showed no evidence of disease. Some days, I was thrilled to be alive. I felt happy, grateful, and free. Other days, I felt like cancer still had me in its suffocating grip. The new perspective that made me grateful for each day also made me greedy for years I wasn’t sure I’d get to enjoy. Cancer had been purged from my body, but it wouldn’t leave my mind. I was tired of feeling consumed by cancer. A few minutes later, I sat on the counselor’s sofa, telling my story through tears. I started with the facts: The lump in my breast. The phone call two weeks later. The internet search that revealed a grim prognosis. The oncologist at MD Anderson Cancer Center who looked me in the eyes and said, “I can cure you.” The months of chemotherapy. The clinical trial that took me away from my three young children for weeks and weeks as I received treatment in Houston, six hundred miles from home. Radiation and surgery, also in Houston. God’s faithfulness and provision through dark days of suffering, sickness, and fear. But my story was more than those facts. Fear, grief, and trauma interwove through those details, but I often buried my emotions as I shared the happy ending of my story. I talked freely about the when, where, and how, but I didn’t think people would want to hear the questions I wrestled with daily: Why? What now? I often separated the facts from my feelings when I told the story, but in the safety of the counselor’s office, my emotional turmoil rose to the surface and overflowed...

Life After Cancer2025-05-24T16:33:49+00:00

Joy in the Mourning

KENDRA KAMMER|GUEST My mother was a treasure. She was fun-loving and unapologetically loud. She was God’s gift to me. Her delight in others, her embracing of her calling, and her faithful submission to God’s will taught me the character of God. God, in His goodness, places people in our lives who unlock His character for us. This is one of the unexpected graces of being human when our lives and legacy are temporary, fleeting, like “a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes” (James 4:14). But some individuals, even for the little time they spend on Earth, are a reflecting mirror of aspects of God’s goodness to the rest of us. My mom was one of them. But I have to say “was” when I talk about my mom, because that’s how we talk about people who aren’t with us anymore. Three and a half years ago, my mom lost her battle with cancer, and now Mother’s Day is an exercise of joy in the mourning. “Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Psalm 30:5 When my mom passed away I felt breathless with grief, but I also felt the joy of one grieving with hope. The pain of loss was real, but the hope of seeing her again— free from pain and regret—that hope bolstered me, even as the tears kept coming. During that season, God walked with me through the bittersweet duality of weeping and joy, loss and love, brokenness and comfort. My mom lived her life as an exercise in joy, so as the Holy Spirit works in me to remember her life on Mother’s Day, I shouldn’t be surprised to find that he is preparing the soil of my heart to grow the fruit of joy in the Lord, even in mourning.  Joy in God’s Delight My mom enjoyed things enthusiastically. She never kept her delight to herself; it was always shared. What a gift when the delight she expressed was a delight in me! I wasn’t always worthy of it— I was a typical teenager with sullen moods and bad attitudes—but my mom delighted in me because it was in her nature to find joy.  Our God is like that. Isaiah 62:4 says, “You shall be called My Delight Is in Her… for the Lord delights in you.” Even when we’re distant or difficult, God draws near. In Christ, we are His beloved children. He looks past our rebellious inclinations and delights in us, even on our worst day! Joy in God’s Calling My mom lived her life on mission as an ambassador for Christ, but she wasn’t concerned about her name or her fame. She saw the beauty of the Gospel and felt compassion for the world that didn’t know that peace. She took the opportunities she was given to shine God’s light into people’s hard places. Ephesians 2:10 says that we are God’s “workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” In an act of God’s great kindness, He lets us experience the joy of serving in His kingdom, based on the unique knots and threads of the personality He’s knitted into us (Psalm 119:13). I am thankful for the privilege of living out His calling among this world that needs to know Him....

Joy in the Mourning2025-04-21T20:00:52+00:00

The Article You Don’t Want to Read

LAURA PATTERSON | GUEST For the third time in five months, I found myself at the bedside of a dying family member. Yet again, I watched the regimented push of morphine and changing respiratory patterns that led to the death rattle. Apneas increased and lengthened, extra morphine was pushed, and that final breath—ready or not, it came. She went to her Father’s house on Father’s Day. My precious Granny was 86. Spoon-feeding her those final bites on earth felt so inadequate when I thought of all the ways she had fed me in my lifetime. Holding her cold, clammy hand on her deathbed could never match all the ways her hands had tenderly held me and my children. I felt helpless to provide the comfort and peace I longed to give her. She had lived a long life, but death still felt like an armed intruder. Death will always be an enemy in this life. But, to the one who will listen, death is perhaps the best teacher there is. The author of Ecclesiastes tells us this when he says, ”the day of death is better than the day of birth. It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind and the living will lay it to heart” (7:1-2).  What can we learn from death and how can we pursue its instruction?...

The Article You Don’t Want to Read2025-04-12T18:16:45+00:00

Taking our Stress to the Lord

MEGAN JUNG|GUEST Take breaks…Be present…You can’t be all things to all people. Meet others where they are. Eliminate hurry. Don’t delay. Know your limits. Start exercising. Strength, not cardio. Stress makes you sick. Drink more water. Strive for connection. Make time for yourself. Get enough sleep to prevent “X.” Wake up early to do “X.” Good enough is good enough. Do your best. Take media breaks. Stay up to date. Say “no.” Do more. How did you feel as you read that list? I don’t know about you, but I felt stressed! A Stress-filled World The world invites us into its fear and its solutions to that fear constantly. We live in a particularly tense and defensive time. Fried nervous systems and dialed up threat responses crowd our communities, near and far. Well-meaning tips about stress management often invite more stress with additional tasks to incorporate into our packed lives. And if we’re honest, unhelpful messages about stress are not exclusively external. Most of us could single-handedly fill a small pond (or larger) with our own internal narratives, to-do lists, and strategies. We don’t need help from outside sources to react to stress with stress. It’s in us. Stress is a product of brokenness, many parts of it will remain until Jesus returns, and we all have it in common. And we all want relief, peace, and help. It's National Stress Awareness month, and I want to encourage you, not with psychoeducation about causes and symptoms of stress (which are beneficial!), but with what we can do with the reality of stress. Like our brother Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, we have thorns in our flesh...

Taking our Stress to the Lord2025-03-26T14:20:02+00:00

Silencing the Inner Critic

KRISTINE SUNG As I stare at the computer screen, writing this blog, I hear the thoughts scroll through my brain. “What are you doing? You’re not a writer. Do you really have anything worthwhile to say? Wouldn’t it be better just to play on your phone?” This, my friends, is a glimpse of my inner critic. It can be so bossy. Critical. Impatient. It’s like a toddler. Perhaps you can relate. Scientists estimate humans have 6,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Many thoughts go unnoticed. Yet others we hyperfocus on. When we stop to listen to our thoughts, we don’t tend to hear a ton of ‘atta girl’ thoughts, nor do they naturally conform to truth of the gospel. Sadly, more often than we realize, our behavior marches to the beat of their drum. A Look at Psalm 103 Thankfully, this is not a modern problem. In the Psalms, David often reveals how he deals with his own inner critic. Take a look at Psalm 103. As you begin to read the psalm, you see right away David giving instruction to his own inner critic, which he refers to as “his soul.” He tells himself to “Bless the Lord, O my soul” and “not to forget all his benefits.” We don’t know what David was struggling with when he wrote these words. But when he tells himself not to forget, it is likely he is doing just that, forgetting. I know my toddler-like inner critic is often forgetful. While I know that I am not and will never be perfect, nor is there any hope in me to save myself, my inner thoughts easily forget that. And it doesn’t want to think about God and His benefits; rather, it often focuses on unrealistic expectations of myself. And it is quick to point out how often I don’t meet those expectations...

Silencing the Inner Critic2025-03-26T14:15:22+00:00

Cherish: Encouragement and Equipping for Ministry

HANNAH STARNES|GUEST Not quite two years into full time ministry, I attended my first WE (Wives of Elders) event at Women’s Leadership Training in Atlanta. WE was just getting off the ground and as a young pastor’s wife, I was thrilled there was a ministry specifically for the wives of elders. Though my husband had not been a TE (Teaching Elder) for long, we were already weary, and I found myself continuing to take on more than I should because I believed that was expected of me. A joke had been made more than once that when my husband was hired, they had gotten “two for the price of one” because I had a hard time saying no. Without a mentor to guide me, I burned out quickly. But at the WE meeting, I felt relief for the first time. I was pregnant and therefore already emotional, but as I left the room I cried as I recapped the experience to my mom, telling her that I had met and connected with women who understood what I was going through. I was no longer alone! It was a special time of sharing one another’s burdens as well as rejoicing with one another through the cheerful parts of ministry. I saw 1 Corinthians 12:26 working out before my eyes, “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” I came away feeling refreshed. In early 2024, I joined the WE team to be a liaison for the new WE cohorts. I wanted others to feel the way I did after that first WE meeting—connected, cared for, understood. It is a privilege to be a part of a group that seeks to connect elders’ wives to one another to fight against the feelings of isolation, bitterness, and misunderstanding. These cohorts have changed and altered over time but still maintain the purpose of connecting both teaching and ruling elders’ wives together for the purpose of encouragement and glorifying God together...

Cherish: Encouragement and Equipping for Ministry2025-03-12T14:52:54+00:00

Cherish: A Safe Place for Growth

KIM BARNES | CONTRIBUTOR A few years ago, my husband, a pastor, and I experienced a significant crisis in our ministry life. We were crushed. I went from being a pastor’s wife who loved the church and could imagine no better life, to being a pastor’s wife who thought it would be great if her husband found a different line of work. I went from viewing gathered worship as a place of ministry, hospitality, and joy to a place that my head knew was necessary and good, but that my heart struggled to be present for. I couldn’t imagine ever being able to truly love and trust a local church again. I’m thankful that during that season, I had access to counseling for pastor’s wives through Cherish. Connecting with Cherish I have a vivid memory from the summer of 2019. My husband had gone ahead of me to his new pastoral call while I stayed behind to finish the packing, house-selling, and other necessities. As I sat amongst boxes, I took a break and scrolled on my phone and saw a post on social media about a new program from the PCA: Cherish. It offered free and discounted professional counseling for PCA pastor’s wives. I’d seen this promoted online before, but it didn’t seem like the right time for me to pursue counseling. We were in the middle of a big move that was stressful; adding something else to my life seemed like a bad idea. Yet, in that moment, nudged by the Holy Spirit, I thought I should check it out...

Cherish: A Safe Place for Growth2025-02-24T16:05:10+00:00
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