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The Blessings That Come With Forgiveness

LEAH JONES | GUEST “Birds fly. Fish swim. Christians forgive.” My husband made this statement in a sermon on forgiveness a few weeks ago and it resonated with me. With all the authority and confidence that could only be rooted in Scripture, he proceeded to explain how forgiveness is as necessary to the Christian as breathing. If forgiveness is free, good, and necessary, then we should be quick to forgive. There should be no withholding it. In The Miracle of Forgiveness, C.S. Lewis speaks of forgiveness as mortifying our resentment. It’s a practice we have to set on repeat. In fact, we may have to walk the same path of forgiveness 490 times (see Matt. 18-21). Forgiveness is a journey with many steps along the way—so we may as well get started. As I’ve studied and meditated on forgiveness, here are four things I’ve learned: #1: Forgiveness is Mandatory We must forgive. It is never optional. A lack of forgiveness settles in and festers. Bitterness takes root and anger turns to rage; hurt morphs into hatred. We begin to only see the difficulty in life and miss God’s goodness. Hebrews warns us to remember the grace of God, “lest the root of bitterness rise up” and cause great destruction (Heb. 12:15). These ramifications never stay isolated to one relationship. They creep in unnoticed and wreak havoc throughout our relational landscape...

The Blessings That Come With Forgiveness2023-09-23T13:21:26+00:00

Forgiveness: A Costly Yet Worthy Obedience

ELLEN DYKAS|CONTRIBUTOR Corrie ten Boom, imprisoned during WWII for sheltering Jews in her home (along with her family), told a powerful story from a speaking event in Berlin. After sharing about God’s love, a man approached her. Oh, Miss Ten Boom, I’m so glad to see you…don’t you recognize me? She realized he was one of the cruelest guards in the concentration camp where she had been imprisoned with her sister, Betsy. He enthusiastically told her he was now a Christian, marveling at God’s forgiveness for all the cruelties he inflicted on people. But, he said, he prayed that God would give him an opportunity to ask one of his victims for forgiveness. Miss Ten Boom, will you forgive me? Corrie said, “I could not. I remembered the suffering of my dying sister through him...and I realized that if I did not forgive those who sin against me, my heavenly Father would not forgive me…but I could not [forgive him], but could only hate him.”[1] Confronting our inner hate and desperation I’ve not suffered the kind of trauma which Corrie endured, but I have been sinned against, and have confronted hatred in my heart towards evil doers, as well as believers who’ve betrayed me and mishandled my heart. What about you, sister? Today, are you weighed down with lingering pain and anger due to someone’s sin against you? A leader, friend, husband, parent, son, daughter, or boss? Do you resonate with Corrie’s desperate honesty, I can’t forgive, I can only hate?...

Forgiveness: A Costly Yet Worthy Obedience2023-08-15T13:17:27+00:00

Don’t Be A Fig Leaf

KIM BARNES|GUEST In recent years, I’ve come to terms with some parenting failures in raising my children when they were young. When I’ve shared with friends about my realized failures—when I’ve confessed sin, I’ve often gotten a response that goes something like this: “Don’t beat yourself up. Parenting is hard. You did the best you could at the time.” They’re not completely wrong. There is a sense in which I did my best. I love my children. I did not intend to harm them. I thought I was doing right at the time. But I’ve since learned that I misunderstood some of my children’s needs. I took some actions that though well-intentioned, missed the mark. And I failed to take some action that was necessary. I sinned against my children. The reason I share my failures is because I am grateful that God exposes sin and I want to proclaim God’s faithfulness to teach, guide, and forgive. I want to heed the encouragement of James 5:16...

Don’t Be A Fig Leaf2023-08-15T13:45:34+00:00

Love that Breaks the Chains of Addiction

ELIZABETH TURNAGE|CONTRIBUTOR Samantha’s family emigrated to America from Mexico when she was only eight. Her mother fled from her abusive boyfriend, Samantha’s father, finding work in the small taqueria of a distant cousin. Samantha’s mother worked long hours, and the young girl was often left alone. As she grew older, she discovered a way to find the connection she desperately sought. All she had to do was offer her body to the boys. Sexting led to backseat encounters, which led to multiple partners in urban bedrooms. Shunned by the girls her age, Samantha found intimacy through sex alone. She could not have foreseen the dangerous addiction that would develop. As a young woman, she fought to break free of her sexual addiction. Though she longed to be free, the connection between love and sex had been deeply engraved in her soul. A Woman with Many Husbands It's possible that Samantha and the Samaritan woman of John 4 had similar addictions. Maybe the Samaritan woman had five husbands and lived with one who was not her husband because she too had sought to fill her craving for love through offering her body to men. Maybe the Samaritan woman went to the well at noon, the hottest time of the day, because at that hour, she would not encounter the shaming whispers of the town’s women. When the strange Rabbi asked the Samaritan woman for a drink of water, she was surprised...First, why would a Jew ask for a drink from a Samaritan woman (Jews hated Samaritans). And second, why would a man, a Rabbi no less, speak to a woman, a woman like her? And what was this strange, “living water,” he spoke of? He said whoever drank of it would never be thirsty again. Oh, she knew about thirst. She had thirsted for love, and time after time, man after man, her thirst had remained unquenched. “The water that I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (John 4:15). Yes, she longed for this water, water that would moisten her mouth and rinse her dusty soul...

Love that Breaks the Chains of Addiction2022-05-04T23:04:07+00:00

Shame: A Burden We Were Never Intended to Carry

I attended a wedding a little while ago and had an unexpected interaction with another guest. Moments before the bride walked down the aisle, there was a man seemingly trying to make eye contact with me. I didn’t recognize him, so I assumed he was looking at a clock or a bird or someone behind me. I just looked away. But, he continued and actually escalated his attempt at communication with a casual wave. Nonplussed, I waved back, hoping he would realize that we didn’t know each other. The whole exchange felt really awkward. And…yes, I’m single and I know what all of you are thinking. No. Anyway, after the ceremony, he hesitatingly approached me. He said, “You don’t remember me, do you?” I absolutely hate this question because I often forget meeting people. I answered as politely as I could that I didn’t remember him. He gave me his name, which helped slightly, then he reminded me that we worked within the same organization over a decade ago. You have to understand, I was vaguely beginning to put some memories in order. He then proceeded to tell me that since we worked together, he had become a Christian. He shared his story, in brief, and began to unpack the way he used to live before he came to faith in Christ. He continued and said that he believed that if he was ever afforded the opportunity to ask me to forgive him, he would. Forgive him? Forgive him for what? I didn’t even remember him.

Shame: A Burden We Were Never Intended to Carry2022-05-07T23:53:39+00:00

Redemptive Relationships: Refusing to Let False Narratives Rule

KRISTEN HATTON|CONTRIBUTOR We hadn’t seen each other very much lately, or even texted in our usual way.  I knew we had both been busy, so I hadn’t thought much of it. I have lots of friends I don’t see very often because of proximity, different life stages or work schedules, but we always pick right back up as if no time had passed. Assuming the same would be true with this friend, I had looked forward to seeing her at an event later that week. But the big hug and incessant catch up session I expected didn’t come. Instead my presence was barely acknowledged. Not knowing what to make of her icy reception, I pretended not to notice, opting instead to keep trying to get the conversation going. I kept asking questions hoping to make things feel normal, only it was never reciprocated which left me hurt and confused. Back home, later that night and into the next day and week, I kept replaying this whole scenario in my head. But the longer I dwelt on it, the more my hurt turned to indignation and I became convinced of my own narrative. Of course, at this point I didn’t know what was really true, but it didn’t matter. I felt justified in thinking how dare she be mad at me for not texting or calling her, when she hadn’t reached out to me either. Ironically, in the same way I felt like she wanted me to “pay” some consequence for something I knew nothing about and I now wanted her to pay. For I deserved a better friend than what she’d shown me! I know I’m not alone in this line of thinking even though we usually don’t tease it out.

Redemptive Relationships: Refusing to Let False Narratives Rule2022-05-08T00:05:05+00:00
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